She would need the release to somehow survive what she was about to do. Nothing would be more difficult than hurting the woman she loved but it needed to be done. Still, she did hate herself for it.
This was a feeling that Dana, sadly, was altogether well acquainted.
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9:41:49 a.m.
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9:42:00 a.m.
"Finally!" Alice shouted in combination of annoyance and glee, leaping to her feet and running over to the stereo. For some absurd reason that she could no longer recall she had promised herself she wouldn't turn on the stereo to begin her usual form of musical therapy until Tina had been gone for exactly thirty minutes. And now, after what seemed much longer, the thirty minutes had passed. Thus her traditional ritual of singing along to John Lennon in order to feel better could happily begin. Going through the cd tracks in an almost robotic fashion, Alice murmured, "I should do this again, when T's here. I'm guessing that she'd see my whole point in it."
Despite the fact that Tina had insisted she needed to go over to the house in order to get her things Alice felt wary about the entire issue. Mostly because Tina was going alone. Though she understood that Tina needed to confront Bette in order to simply release her anger over what had happened she couldn't help worrying. The momentary pleasure that Tina would get from such an action couldn't possibly equal the pain it would later cause.
But Tina needed to do this and Alice knew it, so she let her go. That didn't stop her from worrying though. Not in the least. Which was why she was beaming widely and backing away from her stereo as it blared the opening notes of John Lennon's Instant Karma. And not for the first time, Alice was thankful that her apartment building had thick cement and utterly soundproof walls. It was great for her impromptu bouts of loud singing and late nights filled with adventurous sex.
Jumping onto her couch to bounce on it as she sang, Alice cleared her throat then started singing along with John, "Instant Karma's gonna get you. Gonna knock you right on the head. You better get yourself together. Pretty soon you're gonna be dead..."
"What in the world you thinking of?" Alice declared loudly, shaking her head and bouncing higher on the couch. One day she knew she'd outright destroy the springs but today wasn't that day and she almost hit her head on the ceiling. "Laughing in the face of love. What on earth you tryin' to do? It's up to you." Alice paused then sang even louder, "Yeah you!"
"Instant Karma's gonna get you. Gonna look you right in the face. Better get yourself together darlin'," she drew this last line out, blowing a kiss as she did so. Grinning widely, Alice bounced and spun in the air, continuing to sing, "Join the human race. How in the world you gonna see? Laughin' at fools like me?" Gesturing to herself and bouncing higher than ever, Alice then lifted her arms over her head. "Who on earth do you think you are? A super star? Well, right you are!"
Fully into her crazy rockin' out punker girl mode, phrase courtesy of Tayo during their two second romance, Alice shook her head wildly. "Well, we all shine on! Like the moon and the stars and the sun! Well, we all shine on! Everyone, come on!"
"Instant Karma's gonna get you. Gonna knock you off your feet." Alice closed her eyes, calming on knowing that her favorite lyrics were coming up and she sang the words with a soft and understated conviction, "Better recognize your brothers. Everyone you meet." Her cheerful bouncing had stopped totally and Alice's voice was as powerful as the message the lyrics hoped to send. "Why in the world are we here? Surely not to live in pain and fear. Why on earth are you there? When you're everywhere? Come and get your share."
Then, like a ray of sun coming through dark storm clouds, Alice's face broke out in a smile and she began bouncing up as high as ever. "Well, we all shine on! Like the moon and the stars and the sun! Yeah, we all shine on!" Nodding and shaking her head happily while pumping her fists, Alice felt herself fill with hope just like she always did when singing this song. "Come on and on and on on on! Yeah, alright, uh huh... well, we all shine on! Like the moon and the stars and the sun! Yeah, we all shine on! On and on and on on and on..."
"Well, we all shine on. Like the moon and the stars and the sun," Alice sang, her voice fading with the song and plopping onto the couch, she sighed heavily and rested her head back. Waiting for her breathing to calm, Alice murmured, "Gotta love Lennon. Thanks for the music, man."
Flopping sideways and sinking boneless onto the couch's plush goodness, Alice felt her body joyfully relax. Then only a few moments later, the loudest knock ever to knock on her door sounded and instantly she sprung into an upright sitting position.
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