Hazel eyes darkened and Tina's voice dropped into a shaky octave. "I had the opposite with Bette. I fell hard and fast... she took me completely by surprise. I never saw it coming." There was a pause then Tina said in a bare whisper, "I didn't see the affair with Candace coming either." Dragging teary eyes up to lock helplessly with Alice's understanding gaze, she asked hoarsely, "Why did Bette do it, Al? Wasn't I enough for her? I tried to be... I honestly did."
"Oh honey, come here," murmured Alice, pulling Tina into her arms and cradling her close. Squeezing her eyes shut at the feel of Tina tucking her head underneath her chin, Alice tried to restrain the rage she felt towards Bette at that instant because it wouldn't help Tina, not one bit. Combing her fingers through Tina's hair, she finally said, "I don't know why she did it and I doubt any of us ever will. Part of me thinks that maybe even Bette doesn't know why. As for you being good enough for her, well," Alice snorted derisively, "I think it's pretty evident you're TOO good for her."
After a significant pause Tina asked hesitantly, "You think so?"
A fond smile forming, Alice kissed Tina's messy blonde locks and replied, "I do. Now don't you doubt me, because you know it's the truth since, come on! I am extraordinarily bad at lying."
"Yes, you are," Tina laughed at this, unable to help it as she recalled the few times Alice had attempted to lie and failed on a pathetically large scale. But that was just one of many reasons to love Alice so very dearly, Tina realized.
Alice was simply Alice. She didn't have the capacity to hide who she was or even what she felt. It wasn't in her nature and she couldn't be deceptive, not by the smallest of degrees. What you saw with Alice was definitely what you got and in the light of Bette's betrayal, Tina appreciated that more than words could possibly say. And somehow, she found herself jealous of Dana because she just knew that Alice would never make the mistakes that Bette had made. Hell, that she had made.
Listening to her friend regale one of her more embarrassing efforts in the realm of fibbing, her voice joyful and light, fingers soothing as they stroked her hair, Tina sighed. No, Alice would never make their mistakes. She would treat Dana as good as if not better than anyone ever could. That was who she was and it was why they all loved her.
"Hey, Al?" asked Tina quietly, interrupting the story just as Alice got to the part where she claimed to have been raised by circus folk. "You never did tell me. Does Dana know how you feel?"
"She knows," replied Alice sardonically, her tone reflecting a good deal of disdain with herself. "Yes believe me, she definitely knows."
"Al," Tina now drew her name out in a slow and rather worried pronunciation, moving to lock eyes with her friend. "What did you do?"
Releasing a loud and nervous whoosh of air, Alice stared up at the ceiling then said with notable irritation, "I kissed her, okay. I went to her place at four in the fucking morning and I kissed her. Well, first I told her she couldn't marry Tonya and when Dana asked me why in that confused, hurt, and sweet way that she gets I told her because. So, naturally, she asks why again. Being a genius at conversation, I say because for the second time. And right when I'm pretty sure she was about to start bitching at me for being a confusing and nondescript pain in the butt, I kissed her."
There was silence as Tina took time to absorb all of this. Then she asked in an altogether mischievous tone of voice, "Did she kiss you back?"
"My god, I can't believe you asked that," declared Alice, laughing with surprise and delight. Clucking her tongue, she put on a horrible faux Southern Belle accent and said, "Why Miss Tina Kennard, I do declare that you are becoming as saucy as I!"
"She kissed you back then," said Tina, looking smug and entirely satisfied about her accurate power of prediction. "I thought that she would."
"Why?" asked Alice in a small voice.
Frowning on hearing this, Tina scooted away to gently move out of Alice's arms that had been holding her to look at her friend's suddenly shadowed features. When brown eyes looked her way, Tina couldn't hold back the wave of protective emotion she felt on seeing the vulnerability in them.
"Why would you think that? God," Alice released bark of bitter laughter. "Why would anyone think that? She's Dana Fairbanks! Famous tennis player, shiny in her newly outed status, who is high up on many more attractive people's 'wish I could fuck' list. Who am I? Some flaky bisexual feature writer for LA Magazine?" Scoffing at herself, Alice muttered, "I don't even have aspirations for writing the great American novel. I hate fiction writing and I hate so called hardcore journalism. My dream is to write for People! Or maybe The Advocate. Who knows."
"And what's wrong with wanting to write for People? A lot of people like People!" exclaimed Tina in heated defense of both Alice and a magazine that she herself enjoyed. She was quiet for a moment then said wryly, "That sentence just proves I'm not meant to be a writer myself, doesn't it?"
"I'd say so," agreed Alice with a kind yet still amused chuckle. She started to say more but stopped upon feeling Tina's hand cupping her face as if was delicate porcelain. "T?" she asked, perplexed by the gesture. "What's up?"
"You're not a flaky bisexual," Tina said strongly, her tone revealing that she wouldn't brook any argument on Alice's part. "There's so much more to you, Al. If that's all you really were then how can you explain why I automatically went to you for comfort on possibly the worst day of my life?" Seeing that her words were having some meager effect, Tina continued, "You're a compassionate, funny, and sincere woman who, for some unfathomable reason, refuses to see that about herself." Tapping Alice's nose lightly with her index finger, Tina growled humorously as she said, "And if Dana can't see that then she's a fool."
"Thanks, that's very butch of you," Alice kidded with good humor and a smile, her expression kind but revealing quite clearly she didn't believe one word of what Tina had just said.
"I mean it, Al," said Tina solemnly, her hands drifting down Alice's face to hold it as tenderly as ever. Their foreheads rested together and Tina sighed as she squeezed her eyes shut. "I never wanted to tell you this," her voice was wry and admonishing, "but if will help you then I guess I should."
"T?" asked Alice, concerned. "What's going on? You're not making sense to even me and many would consider that a feat of wonder."
"I love Bette," said Tina softly, her voice wavering as she admitted something that she now felt mammothly foolish for. "I wish right now that maybe I didn't but I do. But you," Tina's voice shifted into an undeniably affectionate tone as clear hazel eyes opened to lock with concerned brown. "I've had a crush on you for almost as long as I've loved Bette." Pushing back a stray lock of dyed blonde hair, Tina couldn't help but giggle at the stupefied look on Alice's features. "And I've just broken your brain, haven't I, Al? I'm sorry... maybe I should've kept quiet."
"A crush on me?"
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