“Tina, I could never, I would never hate you! For what ever reason this horrible thing happened to us. I don’t know the reason. Fuck, I’ve stopped looking for the reason. I just know that we have got to get past this. I can’t say that I don’t think about it. I think about it almost every day but my pain has resolved into a sadness, Sad for us. Sad to think that this horrible event drove such a huge wedge between us that we may never have an opportunity to be together and have the family we wanted. Just because you had a miscarriage once doesn’t mean that it will happen again. I’m afraid that if we were together, you would never want to try to have a baby again. And, I want one so badly. I want you to have our baby Tina.”

“Bette, I cannot even try to get my head around that right now.” Tina shakes her head slowly.

“Tina, I’m not pushing. We have a lot of things to work on before we can think about a baby. First though, I need to know if you think that there is anything left to work on. Is there any desire to be with me.” She wasn’t sure she wanted to hear the answer.

“Bette, I am so afraid. I can’t say right now. Is that what you want?”

“I don’t know .......   Lets work on being better friends?” Bette was willing to take small steps. She just wanted this moving forward. Small steps were better than nothing.

“I think I would like that Bette. Lets work on being better friends first.” Relief washes across Tina’s face.

The time has crept into the small hours of the morning and both are weary after their conversation. Bette looks at Tina somewhat hesitantly, “I better go home. I need to get some sleep. I have the day from hell tomorrow.”

“Yeah, I’ve got a busy day too.”

They stand and walk to the door. They both hesitate to reach out to each other least it appear as though they want something more tonight. Finally, Bette takes Tina’s hand and gently squeezes it. “We’ll talk again soon. I won’t push. You call me when you are ready but, I really want to work on this. OK T?”

“I think we made some good progress tonight. I wasn’t looking forward to this but, it was good I think. For both of us.” She gently responded to Bette’s hand with a small squeeze back.

~~