Bette’s eyes, who tried to be disobedient to their owner and follow the course they had earlier, darted through the room and, although it had seemed perfectly safe for her to sleep in for a long time, suddenly the brunette saw all the danger. For what if Tina had really fallen over and bumped her head against the sharp edge of the bed? What would she have done if the blonde had started to bleed? Bette’s heart wrenched at the thought of her best friend getting hurt…

‘Well it hurts quite enough as it is, thank you very much’

Tina tried to laugh, but one glance into Bette’s eyes made the smile die on her lips.

‘That’s not funny, Tina, and for god’s sake, cover yourself.’

With trembling hands, Bette tried to control her rapid breathing as she grabbed for the towel and brought it up to cover Tina’s heaving breasts.

The brunettes jaw tensed, as she inhaled sharply and got up, and the hurt in Tina’s foot was nothing compared to the hurt in her heart, as the beautiful brunette turned on her heels and made her way out of the room.

‘Ill get you some ice, don’t move’

She said, glancing back shortly before exiting the room, leaving Tina, hurt, vulnerable and alone, with a strange sensation of a trembling heart and body, which somehow seemed to be related to the sweet smell and warm proximity of the woman she had known almost all her life.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Tina glanced aside to the brunette, the questions tumbling in her mind, longing to be asked and answered. But, although several days had passed since the event in which she had stubbed her foot, a strange distance had stayed, hovering in between them like a wall that Tina had never sensed before. Curling up her feet under her body, she again tried to focus on the movie they were watching, unaware of the fact that Bette had even more trouble keeping her attention to the moving figures on the screen.

Looking at the blonde from her peripheral view, the brunette tried, as she always did, with al her might to regain control over her rapidly pounding heart, and as Tina moved slightly, causing her foot to stroke Bette’s hip, the brunette almost jumped up as burned, and moved, quickly, to the other side of the couch.

Tina’s head shot to the side, and her jaw clenched in pain over the reaction of her friend… Bette had offered her her home, without asking questions, as the blonde once, so many years ago, had offered her friendship so freely, but something had changed completely. Every morning, as they both left for work, Bette hardly said goodbye, and the long deep conversations they used to have were nowhere to be found. In fact, it seemed as if Bette did everything in her power to not have to interact with her at all! And this action, this jumping aside at her touch, made Tina’s heart break… Cause if Bette didn’t care for her, if even Bette, the best and truest friend she had ever had, couldn’t stand her… However could anyone else?

As the brunette continued to stare at the screen, Tina tore her eyes from the concentrated face, and as hurt spread through her chest, she moved as far away from the brunette as possible, shutting her eyes tightly to try and prevent the tears from escaping. Yet her attempt was futile, for as the movie continued on about a true-loves-kiss, Tina’s disbelieving snort came along with a deep sighing sob, this time causing Bette’s face to shoot to the side in attempt to examen her friends face.

Tina. However, held her face carefully averted, as she felt the tears meander down her cheeks, feeling the pain, with every pound of her heart, collect itself in that vulnerable organ and spread through her body in a wrenching sensation.

‘Tina?’

Somehow those two syllables made her shoulders heave even faster, but as she felt the hesitation behind her, she raised her hand in an objecting gesture.

As she felt, nonetheless, the soft hand meet her shoulder, she turned, rapidly, and faced the woman who was breaking her heart.

‘What? What do you want Bette? It is obvious that I’m too hideous to even touch, so why on earth would you want to comfort me? Please don’t feel obligated to do so, cause you’re my friend! The same goes for offering me to stay here, actually… I’m sorry, I have not been myself the last few days, but I wont bother you much longer Bette, I promi...’

‘T!’

Bette’s one syllable outraged interruption made Tina snort again, and as the brunette fought with the remotecontrol to put out the movie that continued to play, it fell out of her hands and made the TV jump to another channel, evoking the sounds of a romantic song, causing Tina to grimace shortly.

‘Do you realise that that’s the first time you’ve called me that in days?’

The blonde asked, shaking of the hand that still covered her shoulder.

‘What do I do wrong Bette?’

Shivering and shocked, the brunette looked into the tearing eyes of the woman she loved. And for the first time she realized that with her actions, with her lie, and with the distance that she put, she had not at all protected Tina, but only herself, and indeed all she had done was hurt the woman that now rose and took several steps away from her outstretched hand.

‘T… I…  You don’t do anything wrong… It’s me, I’m sorry… I…’

‘Oh Bette, don’t even start!’

Turning back to her dark-haired friend, Tina couldn’t help but try to meet the eyes that had always comforted her, only to find them being averted again, not knowing it was in shame and guilt, and not disgust.

‘I can see you look at me, or more like, NOT look at me… I can feel you scare away from my touch, I can sense you avoiding me… Mow you are my best friend, don’t you think you could have told me?’

Fear, intense, cold, sweat breaking fear, broke out in Bette’s heart. Had Tina guessed her secret? Was it that that caused the heartbreaking pain in her eyes?

‘T… I meant… I wanted…’

Again Tina raised her hand in objection, and as she did so, she felt her al her internal organs cramp in protest, causing her to snap forward, her face wrenched in pain.

Bette jumped up and approached, but Tina was determent not to allow anyone ever to touch her again, and stepped back.

‘No!’

Shocked by the persistence in Tina’s face and voice, Bette felt  the hard guilt fall upon her even more.