‘Are you sorry that it did?’

I looked up at the tone in her voice, and felt how the fire in my chest started to roar... But I answered her truthfully, for I didn’t want her to feel bad about what had happened... She was with Jodi... It had been wrong...

‘Yes, yes I am’

Her face as I’d said the words...

The eyes I thought I knew...

Could it be...

Could it just be...

That I had assessed wrong?

And that she wasn’t as happly with Jodi as I thought she was?

She started to make her way passed me, first with her eyes, than with her body, and suddenly my heart screamed out to her, with amazing strenght...

As much as I had tried to gather the strenght, I couldn’t... I couldn’t let her go without asking the question that had suddenly etched itself in my soul... The last question of hope...

‘Are you in love with Jodi?’

She turned around as in slow motion, the air thickening with every small movement, and looked upto me...

Her eyes were giving me the answer my soul was longing for, and the jittery organ in my chest jumped up, as she averted her eyes, thinking, pondering, while I awaited my judgement...

But as she looked back into my eyes, her lips spoke the opposite of what I had thought to see in the darkbrown… with her words shattering the heart I had laid out for her to have

‘Yes, I am’

Her eyes had left mine as I felt the cold spread, from my chest to my limbs, untill the tingling icy sensation reached my fingertips. The thickened air around me fell, causing a whirlpool of thoughts and emotions, a hurricane of despair...

The step I had to take to regain my balance had nothing to do with the drink I had had earlier, or even with the numbness that had spread, rapidly, over my body, and to my feet.

The strenght of the question I had asked, and the impact of its answer had brought the lump into my throat, that had caused me to get away from her as fast as I possibly could...

I inhaled sharply, knowing I had found my reason for trying to get intoxicated enough to forget my name... My eyes still closed, I let my fingers grasp the material of the couch underneath me... The couch on which, I now remembered more vividly, Jodi had put me...

I had protested, telling her it wasn’t right to sleep in the house I had called my home for so long, but the protests had died as my heavy limbs and lightheaded mind had been pushed on the couch...