She is White, ok? Was Mary fucking Poppins not available? What can she possibly know about my life? What can she know?’
The passion in her rant, the gestures, the pain I saw in those eyes, the trembling I saw in her hands as she ran away from the scene...
I remember Bella asked me some more questions, I remember answering them automaticly, my eyes following her, the rest of my body so ready to do the same... But she was walking to Jodi...
Why the hell did my heart keep forgetting, for split seconds, that she wasn’t mine anymore? It wasn’t my purpose, nor my right anymore to follow her...
Avoiding having to look at her and Jodi talk, avoiding any other people to lull me in conversation, I’d made my way outside...
My eyes had wondered over the hedge, into the garden that once held my home, maybe even more than the house... The times I had sat there, holding her hands, stroking her hair, caressing her thighs... The moments of happiness I had taken for granted...
I heard her footsteps and turned around, seeing, feeling, hearing her anguish in her steps and her breathing... I didn’t care anymore about right or purpose... I wanted to be there for her...
‘I am so so sorry, I had no idea Isabella would pineside us like that...’
‘You know what the thing is? She is not wrong... I still do not have any answers to any of the why’s’
Did that indicate she was looking for them? Did that mean that she was sorry we weren’t together anymore either?
No...
I had to stop thinking that...
I had to let go...
I had to strengthen myself and let go...
‘What happened the other night? It was a mistake... It just... It shouldnt have happened...’
But the little glimpse of hope that had flashed in my heart at her admission about the ‘why’s’ was burning with fierceness..
