I had felt her enter, and avoided, yet again, to glance in her direction. Her eyes were burning on me, and I wondered if her body was as aware of my presence as mine was of hers, as if her gaze just charged it with electricity, as if only her proximity made me alive...

I sensed her approach and fought the urge to turn around and move in the opposite direction. My body was doing the strangest thing, wiggling around on one place, kind of swaying on the music in a movement between staying and running away...

‘Hey’

My skin prickled with the nearness of her, and my voice trembled as I answered her...

‘Hi’

She walked past me, and the hairs in the back of my neck stood up. I glanced aside and my eyes met hers just as she send me that killer smile that had one me over the first time I had ever seen her...

God, that woman was so beautifull...

She thanked me and practicly apoligized for the phonecall, and I felt the anger I had felt before melt away... So many things had changed about her... Not that she had been inconsiderate, but the way she seemed now, so naturally, to know when something had caused someone an effort, and the way she could make, even the tiniest thing, the smallest ‘thank you’, sound so sincere...

I was drowning in her eyes, as a sudden voice broke my dream.

‘Tina’

Isabella Perkins had her arms around me before I could even assess what was happening, and as I introduced her to Bette, I kept watching the face of the woman I loved beyond any other...I wanted to see the feelings I had had about this whole thing, cross her face... It felt awfull, but for a moment wanted to see the surprise and the shock and the pain of our lifes together soon to be portrayed on screen. I was looking for that glimpse of recognizion... Of regret...

Maybe most of all I was looking for a chance.

But as I saw the wrenching of her face as she realized who Bella was, I felt instantly sorry...

It was so so hard for me to read about our life, to read about all the things we had done wrong, even though it was just through Jenny’s eyes, I knew the truth –at least my truth- behind it, and it was agony...

And as she started to ask Bette about the ‘why’s’ I swallowed hard, and tried, in all sincerity, to stop her, but then, those words...

‘What is it in Bev that seeks to sabotage everything she has built? Why does she cheat with the plumber?’

My eyes grew wide as I felt my heart jump and wrench, the pain of the memories, of the questions that would never be answered, that couldn’t be answered, cause would I ever know why I had been running to Henry? I could give excuses, I could think of feelings, of insecureness and of pain, but never would there be words to undo all I had done to destroy our second chance...

Those beautifull eyes turned from ashtonishment to anger, the kind of anger that I knew reflected pain. I looked into the pools of darkbrown and hoped she saw my apology in them, as she turned back to Bella and seemed to reassess her...