I looked into those eyes that were my home, and knew the unavoidable talk had to happen... I needed to take that jump, that leap my heart had already taken...

The danger that she would call it ‘just a kiss’

The hope that she would not...

It was that hope that charmed a small smile on my face... For the indication that she wanted to talk about it made my heart jump with fierce velocity against my chest...

‘Yeah, you’re right, lets talk... Do you want to have a drink?’

The useless hope that died as she spoke the name...

‘Oh Im sorry, I can’t right now... Im supposed to meet Jodi, but I...’

I mentally reprimanded myself, as I felt the trembling start... The trembling of her presence and her absence, the trembling of despair...

‘Oh’

She had asked me about the next day and I had told her about the party... Flashes of her agonized face as she talked to Bella flashed before my eyes, but I ordered myself to focus on the order of the events, as if only then I could have a little bit of control...

I remember the softness in her eyes as she assured me she was not trying to make it difficult...

Did she have any idea how difficult it was? For me to see her with somebody else? For me to realize that I had lost her?

Yes...

We had kissed...

I had had my kiss...

But Jodi still had her...

The dreaded words had escaped her lips...

‘Its just... I’m sorry’

‘Don’t’

The word had escaped before I could even try to keep it in, and I struggled with what I knew had to be said...

‘Don’t be sorry... You and Jodi are together, ok? I don’t want to get into this whole fucked up ‘push-me-pull-me-thing’ with you. Let’s not get all, freaked out and weird and manipulative about it’