Title: BELIEVING IN LOVE - Chapter 21
Author: Gumby [ Send a Private Message ]
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Copyright: Gumby
Content Rating: PG
Disclaimer: The story and a handful of characters are mine, but the rest belong to IC and Showtime.
Author's Note:
Hey everyone,
I just finished painting for the night and wanted to get this post out there. I will be hopefully writing Enter Stage Right tomorrow to post, but this one had to come first as I am wrapping it up soon!
Thank you to everyone that reads the story and has stuck with it. As a mom myself, it hasn't been easy to write when I think of someone else raising my little one. But, as things unfold, I hope you can gain some enjoyment out of it and I do appreciate the support.
The comments are awesome and always seem to inspire me to write more. I'd like to thank those that comment for doing so, it brings a smile to my face!
Proofie - *snickering* I'm having one of those "moments" and have every intention of jumping around to 5 different topics once again! We're starting with dinner...LOL!
Summary: Tina discloses Megan's secret to Bette.
Total Views: 4496 times.
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BELIEVING IN LOVE - Chapter 21 by Gumby
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Chapter 21
Bette stirred as she felt soft fingertips gently rubbing her back in an attempt to wake her from her dream. It wasn't necessarily that the dream was of any consequence, but she still felt as tired as she had when she went to bed and couldn't believe that the night had passed so quickly.
"Ugh," Bette squirmed away from the hands that were trying to coax her into reality.
Tina smiled as she massaged Bette's back harder trying to wake her up.
"Come on Babe, I need to talk."
Tina's voice finally managed to break through the fogginess in Bette's mind as her words slowly registered. Bette opened one eye and sat straight up seeing it was nearing 4:00 in the morning and Tina sounded frightened.
"Babe?" Bette touched Tina's cheek lovingly. "What's going on?"
"I need to talk."
"That much I gathered," Bette smiled at Tina urging her to continue. "What's wrong?"
Tina blinked back tears, suddenly feeling nervous about the topic of discussion. She felt somewhat comforted when Bette urged her to lay her head on her lap and began to stroke Tina's hair lovingly.
"No tears Babe," Bette whispered as she wiped a stray one away that was sliding down Tina's cheek. "Whatever it is you can talk to me, I'm here to support you."
Tina cleared her throat as she struggled to address Bette about Megan and her child, knowing the conversation wouldn't be a pleasurable one to have. Tina's tears spilled over silently as she contemplated the exact words she wanted to use to convey the information she had discovered, her feelings regarding it, and her ultimate desire to have another child regardless if the child was born of her body or not. She had found herself considering raising Sarah a viable option, rather than having one herself, as she held Sarah and rocked her to sleep.
"Talk to me Tina," Bette pleaded gently.
Tina's mind shot back in time to the first attempt they made at starting their family. Tina remembered how devastated she was, receiving the news on her own, that she had suffered a miscarriage. For the first time in her life, Tina had felt that her heart actually broke when she and Dr. Wilson listened once more for a heartbeat that never came.
When Bette walked into their house, it was evident she had also received the news alone, she had no need to ask Tina why she was cowering in their bedroom in tears. Bette immediately took Tina into her arms as Tina clawed at her trying to get as close as she possibly could.
Tina's mind drifted to the group therapy session where Bette was specifically asked if she had cried at the loss of their child. All Bette could do was throw up walls, claiming she had no need to cry. Bette went on with her life as if nothing had happened, attending Kit's show that night, while Tina ignored all the signals that Bette was falling apart.
It wasn't until Bette was on national television that she allowed any of her feelings to seep in and register in the depths of her heart. Tina wouldn't have believed it herself had she not been waiting for Bette in the green room watching it all unfold in front of her.
"Tina talk to me please," Bette whispered as tears fell from Tina's eyes and her thoughts were brought back to the present.
"I'm sorry," Tina whispered as she wiped her tears once more wetting Bette's lap.
"What are you sorry for Babe?"
Tina continued to allow her tears to silently fall as she held onto Bette's thighs tight.
"I've spent an eternity not listening to you haven't I?"
Tina was afraid of the answer, yet propelled to say the words she was most afraid to utter.
"I don't understand," Bette rubbed Tina's back beginning to panic at the angst that plagued Tina's mind. "I believe you listen to me."
Tina's mind flashed back to the night of Provocations. She was aware she was running late and half expected to be pounced on when she walked through the door for not arriving home sooner to prepare for the show. She walked through the door and was met with silence, and not seeing Bette anywhere, she became concerned. Typically, Bette would have been running around the house on her cell phone making last minute decisions while expertly applying the finishing touches to her makeup.
"Babe?" Tina called out as she walked into the bedroom searching for Bette. Not finding her there, she stepped back into the hallway. "Have you seen my dress?"
Tina found a little comfort as she heard the shower running, but still worried that Bette was also running behind, which would add pressure to the process of getting to the CAC for the show.
"Are you..." Tina began to wonder why Bette wasn't answering. "Baby?"
She peered into the shower and saw Bette crouched in the corner with her eyes closed. She opened the door pleading with Bette to finish her shower with only 40 minutes left before she was to arrive at the gallery for the biggest show it had seen in its history.
"Let's get you out of here," Tina opened the door and shut the water off quickly. "Baby we have to have you there in 40 minutes."
Tina wrapped a towel around a soaking wet Bette and brought her to her feet. Tina remembered pleading with Bette to tell her what was happening, but in reality she didn't need words to understand the message that Bette was falling apart.
Tina made the excuse to herself that Bette was just tired given the work she had done to prepare the show on time. During the weeks prior, Bette had dealt with so many personal and professional challenges and despairs that it was feasible she was just tired. However, Tina's intuition told her differently and she ignored the signs in front of her face.
"I handled that so badly," Tina whispered puzzling Bette.
"Handled what?" Bette was becoming increasingly worried. "Tina please tell me what's going on?"
"Oh," Tina wiped her tears and looked into Bette's eyes. "I was thinking about when you asked me to start our family again."
"Why are you thinking of that?"
"Do you remember it?"
"Vaguely," Bette admitted. "But I'm not sure why you're thinking about that now or why that has you so upset."
"I tried to convince myself that you were falling apart on the shower floor because of Provocations. I remember seeing so much uncertainty in your eyes when you told me you needed us to start our family again."
"Is this about you wanting a baby?" Bette asked carefully.
"When I think back to that moment, I am so angry at myself for not even providing comfort to you when you so obviously needed our family. I didn't even kiss you like I meant it. I pulled back and placed some lame ass kiss on your forehead."
"Do you think I'm not providing comfort for you now that you want to have another child?" Bette asked hesitantly.
"I think I'm on the verge of making the same damn mistake I made back then."
"What is that?"
"Not listening," Tina admitted sadly. "I didn't read the signs then, how afraid you were, and I've ignored them now because I've been afraid of not being able to have a child as time ticks on."
"It's ok to be afraid," Bette reassured her lovingly. "I know what it's like to feel that desperation about something as important as family."
"I know, I remember that look of desperation you had. I hated myself for ignoring it, but ignoring it now seems like a worse offense against you and I'm so sorry for everything I've done."
"What specifically did you do?" Bette asked fearful of Tina's answer.
"I didn't do anything permanent," Tina said understanding Bette's tone of voice. "I can't blame you for being afraid I'd run off and inseminate myself based on past history."
Bette watched as Tina rolled her eyes mocking herself for her past choices.
"I did, however, have some people from my staff investigate Megan."
"Why?"
"I believe in karma Babe," Tina began to explain but was quickly cut off by a hardened voice.
"Why Tina?"
"Because something was telling me I had to know more. I had to understand more about what happened to Megan and how that impacted our life regarding whether we should have a baby or not."
"I thought I expressed my views on having a baby prior to Megan telling me about her partner."
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