"Janet," Tina whispered.
Megan nodded as she swiped at another tear that had fallen from her wet eyes.
"I truly believe she was my soulmate in every way," Megan said with longing in her eyes. "We were married when we were overseas and would have stayed there permanently, but she wanted to start a family and wanted them to be blessed with American citizenship and the rights that come with it."
"So you moved back here?"
"We moved back and spent every dime we had saved trying to get pregnant. She obviously quit her job and was looking for something here while I tried to create and sell shows for money."
"But you weren't successful," Tina filled in a few gaps and allowed the words to slip from her lips.
"No," Megan agreed. "So when we found out Janet was pregnant we were virtually broke. We saved what money we could by visiting state funded clinics which were free to those that weren't able to afford health insurance and adequate care."
Tina blinked back tears as she listened to Megan describe, with emotion, the story that was contained in the file sitting in her hands.
"Most of those clinics were also those that provided family planning, up to and including..."
"Abortion," Tina said quietly.
"Abortion," Megan confirmed. "Near the end of Janet's pregnancy, she started to experience some irregular bleeding. It seemed to come and go, depending on the day, and for a short period it went on for several days. We were told if that happened like that to immediately seek urgent care."
"What was wrong with the pregnancy?" Tina enquired not having gotten that information in the research results she held.
"Oddly enough it was a common condition," Megan allowed anger to seep into her voice which was quickly noticed by Tina. "She had placenta previa which could have been treated. But when she was diagnosed incorrectly by one of the free health care clinics, the condition continued to worsen until a decision had to be made. We were far enough along where Sarah's lungs were developed, but the placenta was completely covering the cervix and she should have never been allowed to deliver vaginally."
"She did go through natural labor?"
"Well the stress of not being able to cross the lines and get help added to the situation and it threw her into labor."
"I'm so sorry," Tina said quietly feeling her own tears begin to wet her eyes and cheeks.
"Janet had a decision to make," Megan continued feeling the pain of reliving the incident for Tina. "She begged me to save the baby if it came down to it, to basically let her go."
"She was very brave."
"She was a mom," Megan simply said. "I know you would have done the same for Angelica."
"Without question," Tina firmly said not missing a beat. "My role as a mom is the most important thing I've ever done."
"Janet felt that way as well," Megan smiled with fondness as she remembered flashes of Janet throughout the pregnancy. "God it killed me, but when the staff came out seeing what was going on, I made the choice to honor her wishes and they began to work to get Sarah out under the guise of saving them both. But Janet had lost so much blood, nothing was working...."
Megan's voice trailed off as she fell apart in front of Tina's eyes. She put her face in her hands as her elbows were balanced on her knees and sobbed for what she had lost. Tina placed the file folder down and stood up, crossing the room slowly, and stood in front of Megan. It was the closest that Tina and Megan had been to one another, yet even the unfamiliar seemed comforting as Tina wrapped her arms around Megan and pulled her up into a full embrace.
"You have to feel this and stop locking it away," Tina whispered as she held Megan in a hug waiting for her to calm down.
"They did what they could," Megan continued to cry while remaining in Tina's embrace. "But in the end they handed me my daughter and told me they couldn't save Janet. A condition that shouldn't have been life threatening took the life of my love."
"I'm so sorry," Tina stroked Megan's back to try to calm her emotions as she felt her own threatening to spill over.
"My daughter looks just like her."
"I have a picture of her," Tina admitted. "She's beautiful."
"Thank you," Megan sniffled and stepped out of Tina's personal space. "Thank you for trying to help as well."
"I hate to do this," Tina cringed at the beginning of her sentence knowing she needed more information. "I have that information and, although you've said I'm rather intelligent, I'm still confused about something and need to ask you some questions."
"Go ahead," Megan said nicely.
"I know you're not well Megan," Tina began. "Why aren't you receiving treatment?"
"I refused it."
"I know that," Tina said patiently. "But why not attempt treatment given the medical advances that are made daily?"
"They gave me a 20% chance to live Tina," Megan said. "At 20% I'd rather die with dignity and be with Janet again in some afterlife. It's funny how you find religion once you're faced with mortality, as if you need to find it to believe that you aren't just gone and there's nothing left once you're dead and buried."
"I believe there's more," Tina said kindly.
"I do now too," Megan agreed. "What life do I really have Tina when I only have a 20% chance to live, and if I did, I'd be sick most of that time? What life do I have when my heart will never love again?"
Megan wiped tears that streamed quickly down her face at this point and continued her discussion with Tina.
"I'm a realist, I won't make it even with treatments Tina. I'd be irresponsible if I don't make some sort of arrangements for my daughter, the one thing in my life that matters most to me. My mother is old and ill herself...."
Megan noticed the moment Tina comprehended what she desired from Bette and Tina.
"You want Bette and I to serve as guardians and raise Sarah don't you?"
"She wouldn't be a burden Tina," Megan began to plead her case. "I've saved every dime so that she would never want for anything, including medical care. All this money that I'm reported to have made, is all in a trust for her that she can begin to live off of once I die. I don't live an extravagant life for that reason Tina, my daughter is well off already. This show, my last statement against what happened to Janet, is a blessing in two ways. The first is that I get the last say and hopefully what happened to Janet will never happen to anyone else again. But the money that this show will make will allow Sarah and you and your family to be well off so that she doesn't put a strain on your family financially. The money is yours to oversee for her."
"It's not the money," Tina began to explain the shocked look on her face.
"I know you want another child before it's too late."
"I do," Tina began before Megan interrupted her once more.
"I know that Bette's sole concern is your safety and health. This can give you what you want, both of you. You add to your family while Bette has her fears alleviated because you wouldn't be going through an actual pregnancy."
"You make it sound so simple and it is the furthest thing from it."
"She's so young Tina," Megan began to feel her heart break once more. "Eventually she won't even remember me and you and Bette will be the only mothers that she'll ever know."
"Why us?"
"First because you and Bette remind me of Janet and I. I want my daughter to be raised with tolerance, by a lesbian couple, and in the midst of art and culture."
"There are a lot of lesbian couples that can give Sarah a good life," Tina argued.
"But I don't know them like I know Bette."
"Bette's changed after all these years Megan," Tina continued the debate.
"Not what's inside of her," Megan shot back.
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