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Author's Note: Hello Everyone!
This has been written for about a week, but I was busy putting other stories together with Ness (Art & Beauty by Chess), and one with Delicious/Shell (Misadventures of Sunnyside Up Campground). I am having such a good time with both of them, that I just left this one aside for a bit. However, I wanted to post this tonight, and try to post one or two more chappies before we go to good old Cape Cod for four days. We cannot wait to head over to Ptown, and hopefully catch up with a certain someone who promises to buy me a drink!!!! Hmm....wonder if they have dog bowls there? Guess I just might have to not be a "dog" on this vacation....but gosh, how could I not? I mean....beaches....women...bikini's.....*tongue out panting* EEEK!!!! *rolling tongue up and placing it back in mouth* See!!!??? Being a dog isn't a good thing. I mean the tongue just droops out of the mouth, to the side, and then this like incredible panting takes place, and the drool...oh gosh, it just....it......* looking around at all the readers getting grossed out * Um.....neverrrrrrrmiiiiiinnnndddd.
Anyway, love and hugs to everyone, and thank you so very much for all that you do in terms of supporting the site, the author's and one another.
Peace, Chicki xox
Columbo: Your intelligence, perception, vigilance and desire to look after things is appreciated more than you can imagine. * wink* TTYL.
Delicious: Shell, thanks so much for your kind words. I've come to understand, you are not one to say things without much thought and feeling, and can be guarded in terms of who earns your trust. That said, your words in the last chapter meant so very much to me. I think what makes your words most special, is you know me for all I am, and that includes the imperfect side, and yet you have this incredible ability to see me as a whole. If I could offer someone something which they would need, it is a friend like you. You are not a yes person, you are not one to just nod up and down and agree with everything from my point of view. You have this amazing ability to encourage and sometimes just lead me down a path where it is difficult to look and take on, but which sometimes its what is necessary for growth. If you don't have a friend in your life, which encourages you to look at your own responsibility, accountability, etc., then how fulfilling is that relationship beyond just the surface? I am fortunate to know a friendship, where we both are incredibly tight and yet we can both say things which might be hard and challenging for the other to hear. I think every person, should be lucky and fortunate to have a friend that can challenge us to think beyond the surface. You are that and so much more to me, so whenever you tell me that I am "one of the good ones," you must accept that same observation from me to you. I know this story has touched your heart so very much. There have been many moments that as I have read it to you and Ness, that I can sense the emotion coming back, at times I have almost stopped reading, feeling it might be best not to continue. I never imagined a piece of writing evoking so much raw emotions, and certainly not one I have ever written. That in itself is probably the biggest compliment a writer could ever receive. So ...thank you for having such terrible PMS that it causes you to cry when I read the story....er...okay that wasn't the thing I was gonna say. LMAOOOOOO just kidding, who me? Yes you? Couldn't be....then who? Alright-Alright, you know what I meant. Talk to you later gater! PS: Wildie texted me last night, not happy we didn't tell her that we posted. I told her it was all your fault. * wink * Hee Hee.
patpez: Thank you for your kind words Pat. I have a feeling you would give that last dollar more than not. * wink* I am glad you found that analogy one that was moving. I think the intent of this story was always to move one in the most profound way possible. Your comment confirms that what I have set out to do, has been accomplished. We also see Angie as an incredibly smart young girl, who will now be able to feel an even closer connection to her Mom, now that they have shared something so serious about their past and family. I think we are seeing things coming up roses in the upcoming chapters. Thanks for the PM last night. You are quite talented my friend. I hope to see more of those as you create them.
dalloway3: Hi Dally! I told Shell you would probably have my head on a platter with an apple in my mouth after learning of my request to be removed. BUT....I also knew you would understand. Thank you for your kind comments concerning the story. The analogy just seemed to come so easily. I guess I have come to embrace analogies quite frequently when trying to explain some rather deep things in life, so therefore I find it easy to apply to fan fiction as well. Hey D, did you get another key made? LOL!!!! Vroom Vroom Vroom..NOT. Damn between you and your other driver there, I'm thinking a black cat crossed your path. LOL!!!! I hope you have a much better time this weekend. * wink* Talk to you later.
Probie: Thank you Probie. I had a feeling you might like that analogy. I love being able to apply something in an adult's world, to a child by forming one. I think we are going to see Bette take on more and more, and finally accept that Fran is at least going to be the first woman she will be with, since Tina. That will be a huge step towards living again.
Ness: Hey Babe, thank you for your kind words (even though I know you are just soooo biased. * wink*). Hee Hee. I do remember you and Shell listening rather intently...wait...did I say Shell was listening???? Hmmm....odd that happened huh? ROFLMAOOO. Hee Hee, see this is the great thing about being a writer, you can just poke fun at her and she can't post a story and volley one back to me. Well....she could in Misadventures at "Sunnyside Up" Campground, but she doesn't have total control of the Author's Notes, so .....*sticking tongue out at Shell* LMAOO at the whole forgetting to comment to you. Yes, there certainly are a lot of people who have your back, NO doubt in my mind about that. Good to have good friends now isn't it? Now, fess up and tell all the readers how you torched my doghouse? Uh Huh...come on now little NessiePoo, fess up. Tell em what you plan to do when I build my new one out of brick? LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Okay I won't go there, for it's too damn cute and funny. On to the story.....yes you certainly do know what it is like to lose someone close to you that you love very much. The emotional process and stages of grief can be quite hard. When you lose a partner, you not only deal with the death of someone you love, but also your life partner, your confidant, the one who moves you like no other. It has been one hell of a grieving process for Bette, but it is definitely time she just moved forward. As for the nomination thing, I'm embarrassed by all the attention. I simply wished to give someone else a chance at experiencing something which I have had the pleasure of myself. Thank you Ness, for all you do, and all that you are. You are a beautiful woman, both inside and out, and I love you dearly. xoxox
lucybelly: Awwww I'm sure sorry you have had some tears reading the story Lucy. From day one, when I posted I put in the story summary that this would NOT be for the weak of heart. This story will always remain so very close to my heart, and I could never have asked for anything more, than to have received some feedback that it touched and moved even one person. To have the feedback that it has received, in the form of PM's Comments, and especially the nominations, will always make me feel proud of it. Thanks so much for reading and commenting, it means a lot.
DoubleL: Thank you DL, I appreciate your taking a moment to leave a comment. I hope that you will be happy with the way it all ends. Well......as happy as one can be that Tina wasn't in this one.
skehe68: Hey you, thank you so much for a generous comment. It wasn't the most easiest when I contemplated it, and then I just go where Chicki goes sometimes....NOoooo not the doghouse, that place where I look at the "bigger picture" and it is years later and such, and what really matters and what doesn't. You just let go of the things that don't, and in doing so, if you can give something to someone else, then.....well why the hell not?? As for the HOEdown...LMAOOOOOO oh boy, all I can imagine is a bunch of Daisy Dukes on!!! LMAOOO MmMmMm....I'm on my way. As for the story, you bet you could hear the collective sigh, that was about the place that Shell started to cry when I read this to her. *awwwwwww* Got a BIG tissue in BIG Texas to give her? LOL! The writing has been AS draining if not more than that which the readers are experiencing. You gals are a very strong willed group of women, and it warms my heart to see that you have remained loyal to the story. Thanks so very much. A PM is on its way back to ya soon. I haven't had much time to get caught up on all of them. Hugs to ya. Ciao hun. Oh Bran is good for the body eh???? LMAOOO I don't think I could add another thing to all the tummy meds I'm on right now. Maybe when I get OLDER. ROFLMAOO!
pogo74: Thank you my friend......two more months, can you believe it? ;-)
tylo: Wow...look at u! Tylo I am soooo proud that you left such a long sentence!!!! Thank you my friend (even though your emails are still twice as long), LOL!!!! You are quite insightful, and I'm happy you liked the analogy. You know it's always a good thing when the CLT is happy! LMAO! I still have to make a graphic for that one like I did the ABS. Remind me next time we are on the IM. * hugs*
packer: Looky there! Did you see who is topping you up there * looking above packers name* Yep...Tam did! Figures! LMAO. They are definitely both on the road to healing, and they are doing it together as a family. Like it or not, as Fran walks on that same path with them, they will be forming a family. How could Bette not just fall completely in love with Fran huh? I mean she is so genuine, loyal, patient, understanding. She is, as Shell would say, "one of the good ones." :- )) Pack, thanks for your kind words my friend. Don't make me a martyr though, I'm far from being the most noble or perfect. Oh came across this quote by good ole Woody Allen, and it reminded me of your comment from Shell and my Fan Fic, "I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose." LMAO!!! TTYL. * hugs *
Christy: Hey C, I think little Angie is totally ready to take on Fran. Let's hope we see them move forward....together.
JustMeYou: Oh my.....looky here. *waving back* Hee Hee. You came out!!! *putting on record and singing* "I'm coming out so you better get this party started......ohhhh I'm coming out so you better get this party started......" Thank you for coming out to comment. It just leaves me in awe when someone actually leaves their first comment, after reading for so long. ROFLMAOOOO at the Author Notes reference. Trust me, Shell, Ness, and I were just joking this weekend, when I was using a special program to keep my AN's and Comments with my stories, at how long some of them were. Hell those that know me well and Email with me and such, know that it's just the way it is. LMAOOOO! Anyway, thank you so much for your nomination in that um...new category. Hee Hee. Oh BTW, you almost got the Italian right....it's Ciao. Thanks for reading and coming out of hiding to comment.
prasnil: Hiya Pras, thanks for reading and commenting. I liked the analogy too, that's why I wrote it! ROFLMAO. In terms of looking at the "big picture," asking to be removed from one spot isn't much of a selfless act at all, but thank you.
momadukes: Hi MD, I thank you for having such courage to read a story that had brought back some loving but also painful memories of losing your own mother at a young age. I had a friend who lost her Mom, when we were in Junior High. I took her away for a week up to Maine with my grandparents so she could just get away from our small town and have some moments to reflect, grieve, and talk about it. Ness too lost her Dad, when she was VERY young as well. Loss of any type is so hard to bear the burden of, and you can only hope you have people close to you that can help you through it. I certainly do not mind you thanking all the writer's in your post. We have such an incredible pool of talented and creative writer's, and it would be amiss if the readers couldn't thank them all, no matter what forum they happen to be in. Thank you again, and you will have to check your InBox on the site for a PM. ** hugs **
hope4tb: Hi Hope! Thank you for such a nice and generous comment. LOL, now now, you are trying to coerce me into thinking that this is a dream huh? I do remember Dallas in the 80's, even though I was a little young then. Hee Hee. Ahh the Boston Pops in High Def!!!! That must have been quite the sight! Thanks again for reading and commenting, it means so very much.
BeLena: Helllooooooo Partner! Thank you again for your beautiful and very generous words. It was a privilege to have been asked by you, to take on something of such great responsibility, so truly the words of gratitude are towards you my friend. It wasn't that big of a deal when you look at the "big picture" of life, and I have always been a firm believer that it is better to give than to receive. I know you have been busy *snickering at you and Sky* ...so no worries on not leaving a comment. Trust me I do not tally them up. I appreciate it when reader's can leave one, and I find it rewarding to have that feedback, but don't ever feel bad about not leaving one. I know this story has pulled at your heartstrings as well, and I can't thank you enough for sticking with it, as so many others have done to see it come to a close soon. You are right, that all good things do come to an end at some point. Love ya lots too partner, and give a great big hug to your other half. xoxo
girl drummer: Hi GD, thank you for your kind comment. I'm sorry I left ya all hanging, and hopefully won't do it again....or....will I? LOL!!!!! Oh my ...moi? "Do it on purpose?" Nooooooo...never. * wink* Thanks for reading and for taking the time to leave a comment. It means so much.
robbeedee: LMAO at the Chick-e-Rena reference. You just have the cutest nicknames ya know that? Once again, your comment moves me, as I see the depth of understanding that you are able to grasp as you read this fic, and other's that I write alone and as a co-author. I will NEVER let it go my friend, you are one hell of a writer, even in terms of just analyzing a chapter and then providing your own tale as you create your comment back. To have that same talent grace this site with a Fan Fiction, would be absolutely mind blowing to me. You would have one fan before your thoughts ever came to life on your computer. Know that you will always have be waiting on the sidelines, ready to cheer you when you decide the time is right to throw your talent in the pool. Now, on to the story....Fran will prove to be a gem...a "diamond" to Bette and Angie. She is really the perfect woman to come into their lives, for she is undemanding, flexible, understanding, compassionate, loving, and PATIENT! LOL. I look forward to bringing them together to consummate the love that they have both obviously formed for one another, as this story comes to a close. Hey ya know, you will think this is crazy, but I have YET to get to an IKEA store. I really need to do that....er...not that I need anything, but still, if I go there I am sure I'll find things I need...okay...strike that, WANT. LOL!!! Thanks for all your support babe, it has meant a lot. Your Loyal Fan back at ya (just practicing that for when you post your story). Hee Hee (always the nudger) * wink *
To the silent readers, I can't thank you enough for remaining steadfast to this difficult (but promising) storyline. Thank you so very much.
Summary: It was still the honeymoon phase, and I hoped that it wouldn't disappear anytime soon. Every time I heard that woman's voice, it sent tingles up and down my spine. I was finding myself loosening up more and more with her, and I knew that no matter what, Saturday night was approaching, and there was no turning back. I not only wanted things to happen, but I was needing them to happen even more.... Total Views: 1889 times.
My daughter was the best of both Tina and I. She was beautiful, she was brilliant, and she was highly perceptive.
“I am, yes. I am trying really hard now Angie.”
“I know you loved Momma T. But why didn’t you try to meet someone? Was it because of me?”
Cindy sat back, and now allowed Angie and I to share in our own open conversation.
“Never. It has never been about you Angie. It ….it’s been about…..well it’s just been really hard honey. I loved Momma T so very much. You were our future. We wanted to have a baby so much, and your anticipated arrival filled us up completely. It’s so hard to explain, except that I felt some….some bond with your mother that was broken by no decision of our own. She didn’t choose to leave me, and I didn’t choose to leave her. When you have a love between two people Angie, who don’t ‘choose’ to leave one another, then moving on when the choice to part was outside of your control is very hard to do. I tried. God I tried so many times in my mind to even just picture myself with someone else. I just couldn’t.”
I was careful to remain guarded. I selected my words carefully, for I did not want to cause anymore wounds, or say something that could create any other self blame for her.
Angie’s innocence flowed freely. “can you picture Fran?”
I felt my body feel less tense as my daughter asked me this question, in a way which had her filled with hope. I wasn’t sure where Fran and I would be in the future. I wasn’t sure if this would end up being a long term engagement, and I worried that Angie would fall in love with her, and then lose yet another important person. I felt Cindy’s eyes upon me, waiting for my answer.
************
“I think so honey. Fran is definitely the first woman I have allowed myself to feel something for. As you know, sometimes you would like to think that someone is in your life forever, but then for whatever reason, they aren’t.”
“I think Fran is forever.” Angie said firmly. “I like her, and you like her, even Grace likes her.”
Cindy’s expression showed some confusion.
“Uh…Grace….she’s our dog.” I added. “and…I have to agree that Grace has taken a liking to Fran.”
“See! Then you should get married.” Angie blurted out with a big smile.
Cindy smiled, folding her arms as she sat back against the chair, enjoying the pressure my child was putting on me.
“Ha…..well Ange, that would be a long while off, and definitely is not something I am considering at this time. Why don’t you let me go on a few more dates first okay?”
“Sure….just don’t wait too long.”
“And why is that?” I asked cautiously.
“Well, someone else might marry her before you do.”
I couldn’t help but take my arm that was resting behind my daughter and squeeze her towards me.
“Let’s hope that doesn’t happen anytime soon.”
Angie spoke into my shirt. “I hope no one does.”
I could sense that in this very short amount of time, my daughter had really embraced Fran. I could certainly see how easy that was to do, for this woman had accepted something that most would have run from. Knowing that, made me feel even more for her than I ever thought possible. My thoughts of Fran were interrupted by Cindy.
“How would you girls feel about having a couple of sessions a week for the next four weeks, just to check in?”
I looked down at Angie, she seemed quite comfortable now, and I didn’t believe she was going to disagree. I awaited her decision first, before I figured on adding some encouragement.
“Okay. I don’t mind.”
I was relieved that Angie’s response was quick, for it told me she was really feeling okay about this whole process.
“Good. That’s really good Angelica. Do you feel a little better after today?”
“Yep.” Angie looked over at me. “Do you Mom?”
“Yes honey, I do….very much.”
“What do you feel you were able to get from this session today Angie?” Cindy asked.
Angie looked around the room a little bit before answering, allowing herself to collect her thoughts.
“Well….I know that Momma T’s death wasn’t my fault. She made some decisions, and I wasn’t born, so I didn’t tell her to have a baby. She decided to. And…..ummmm……that maybe she didn’t die cause she had me, because she could have anyway.”
I was happy to hear my daughter get as much as she had out of this session. I wasn’t sure if she would be able to retain all of it, but from what she repeated, it seemed she got the basic idea, and that was all I could ask for.
“Excellent.” Cindy responded. “Anything else?”
“Ummmm…..that Mom and I can talk about it now.”
I looked down at Angie, realizing how much she has felt left out of a part of my life, and even hers.
“You can always talk to your Mother Ange.” Cindy looked over at me. “She has been trying very hard to make the right decision in terms of when the time would be the most appropriate to tell you about what had happened. Now that you know, I am sure that there will be a lot more open conversation between the both of you.”
