Tina was amazed at how well rested she felt as she awoke Sunday morning.  She feared that her anxiety of seeing the girls for the first time after so many years would keep her awake, tossing and turning in her bed all night.  Instead, the comfort of knowing that Bette would be by her side as she joined brunch brought her a sense of comfort and serenity. 

As she lay in bed, she thought over the events of the previous evening… I cannot believe how calm I was.  I did not expect to have that sort of interaction.  I don’t really know why, but I guess I was expecting some sort of explosion from Bette.  Her wanting to know how I could just leave her in the middle of the night without a single word for the last 12 years.  But, she surprised me.  Actually, I can’t really say that I am surprised.  I always knew that she was an exceptional woman, and I knew that if she set her mind to something, that she could accomplish it.  I can tell that she has worked on many aspects of her life. 

She is so much more open.  Back in the day I would have never expected her to open up to me the way that she did.  To explain her thought processes to me and to let me in on all of the things that she felt. 

She seems so much more vulnerable…and that just makes her more admirable.  Such a strong woman, willing to admit her faults and own up to them. 

I can tell that she is the woman that I always thought she could become.  I am just sad I missed watching her evolution.  But I guess…if my leaving was the catalyst for these changes, and I am pretty sure that it was, then all that I have done, all the sacrifices I have made have not been in vein.  Not only have they helped me evolve, but they have also pushed Bette to become a better woman. 

Oh and all those questions that I had before, you know… the ones that I thought would always be unanswerable…yea, I think I have gotten some answers.  Maybe not all of them, but I am well on my way. 

The moment I saw her, when she met my daughter, I felt her.  No, actually, I felt her pull to me from all the way down the street.  I know that my heart still longs for her. 

I have lived 12 years without her.  I have existed fine.  I know that I do not need her to be happy but now….now I am sure that I want her.  I know that she can make me feel complete.  I don’t feel like I have to rely on her.  It is most definitely not how it was before.  I feel like before I left, like I was so weak.  Like….like I needed her to give me direction and to help me make decisions. That is probably because I felt so lost but now, now that is not the case.  I know who I am.  I am a person separate from her.  I am a brilliant movie executive and a spectacular mother. 

I guess what I am trying to say is that, well, after all this time, after all that we have been through together and apart, I am still totally and completely in love with her. 

Oh God, I am in love with her…

And I know now that I am strong enough physically, emotionally, and most certainly mentally to be with her, and to have her as my own.  I just hope she realizes this as well. 

God, I had such an amazing time with her and Chrissy last night.  It all just felt so right.  She is an amazing girl.  It is obvious that she was raised by a loving mother.  She is intelligent and kind.  She emulates all of Bette’s amazing aspects and many others which I am sure Bette has given to her over the years.

Tina was broken from her thoughts by the sound of knocking on the door….

“Come in”

The door slowly opened as Lizzy peaked her head around…

“Good morning mom.”

“Good morning sweetie, Tina said with a smile… come here” As Lizzy made her way into the bedroom, Tina pulled back the covers and motioned for Lizzy to join her in the bed. 

Lizzy crawled under the covers and was met with her mother’s loving embrace. 

“And how are we doing this morning?”

“Good”

“Did you sleep well?”

“Yep, You?”

“I slept great.” Tina said, squeezing Lizzy tightly. 

“Mom, when are we going to brunch?”

“10:00…are you excited?”

“Yea, it is going to be fun.  I am a little nervous though.”

“Oh why are you nervous sweetie?”

“Well, Chrissy says that all these people are my aunts…”

“Yes….” Tina patiently waited for Lizzy to expound upon her apprehension.          

“Well…what if they don’t like me?  What if they think I am a dork?” Lizzy confessed quietly.

“Oh baby, don’t think that.  They are going to love you.  I don’t see how anyone couldn’t love you.  You are amazing.  You are smart, you are beautiful, you are really funny.  Don’t worry, you will blow them away….I am the one who should be nervous.”

“Why should you be nervous?”

“Umm… probably because I haven’t spoken to any of them in over 12 years.  It is just going to be kinda weird. I hope they aren’t mad at me.  Bette says that they aren’t but…well, I am still not so sure.”

 “Don’t worry mom… they are going to love you.  You are beautiful, funny, kind…” Lizzy responded cheekily…

Tina feigned annoyance… “Oh you are sooo funny.”  Then she quickly tightened her grasp around Lizzy and began a full-on tickle assault. 

Lizzy could not catch her breath.  She was dying with laughter.  She loved mornings like this with her mother.  They didn’t happen too often, especially when she was in school and her mother had to hurry off to work. 

After Tina let up on her tickeling and Lizzy caught her breath, she turned her eyes to her mother and stated… “Mom, I love you so much.”

Tina was struck, these spur of the moment declarations from her daughter always had great impressions on Ms. Kennard… “Oh Lizzy, I love you very very much.” Tears glistened in her eyes as she once again pulled her daughter close. 

“Is it really true?”

“Is what really true?”

“Are Chrissy and Bette really part of our family now?”

Tina grinned and gave a small laugh… “Yea, they are….is that ok with you?”

“Oh mom, it is great.  Chrissy is so much fun.  I love hanging out with her.  She is so cool.”

“And Bette?”

“She is very nice.