“From what I hear, she is an amazing guitar player.  And I think Chrissy is already rubbing off on Lizzy.  I could never get her to sing in public.  She has such a great voice but I could never talk her into singing.  I will have to thank Chrissy.  From the sounds of it, they were very successful.”

“Yea, it really does…”

Both women sat in silence.

After a few moments, Bette spoke, “This is nice…”

“Yea, it really is.”

“This is something I always pictured you know…coming home after work and talking about the kids.  Talking about things they have done in their lives and things we are proud of.  Things we have accomplished and how our lives have changed from day to day.”

“I know what you mean.”

“I am sorry I fucked everything up.”

“Don’t say that Bette, it wasn’t all your fault.  Trust me, I have had plenty of time to think things through.  You weren’t the only one to fuck up.  You weren’t the only one to lose sight of everything that we had.  We are both equally responsible for screwing up our lives.  So please, just…don’t blame yourself.  At least, if you are going to blame yourself, then you better blame me too.  As for me, I am done blaming.  I forgave you and I forgave myself many years ago.” Tina said resolutely.  “So, I am sorry for all of the things that I did or that I didn’t do that led to the demise of our relationship.”

“It is so hard for me to appropriate any blame on you.  At first, I absolutely loathed myself because I felt like maybe if I was just a little bit stronger, maybe we wouldn’t have ended up the way we did.  Bette paused, taking a sip of her wine… It took a lot of thinking, a lot of therapy, and a lot of prodding from the girls to realize that just like it takes two people to create a relationship, it takes two people to maintain one, and two people to screw one up.  So yes, you are right, we both messed up.  I guess it is just easier to blame myself.  Somehow it hurt less that way. Tears well up in her eyes as she pushes forward… Feeling that it was all my fault.  But, I know that’s not the truth.  So, I am sorry Tina. Bette turns in her seat, plants her feet on the ground and looks directly into Tina’s eyes… I am sorry for being absent, for pushing you away, for being an asshole when all you needed was for me to love you and to be gentle with you, and worst of all, for betraying your trust and for betraying our relationship.  For betraying everything that was important to both you and I.”

Tina turned and stared blankly ahead of her for a few moments, not replying to Bette’s apology…When she finally spoke, it was  not filled with anger or hatred, she spoke softly and concearned…“I know you are sorry Bette.  I can see it in the way that you have changed.  In the way that you are with Chrissy and how you have made her your priority in your life.  That tells me that you are a changed person.  Turning to look at Bette… I believe you.  I just don’t understand.  I have gone over it a thousand times in my head, and I still cannot figure out why you did it.  Taking a deep breath… Why did you turn to Candace instead of me?...I mean, I am sorry for bringing this up, I just have to know.”

Bette took a deep breath, and in the same calm voice, she replied… “Isn’t that the million dollar question? With a small pathetic smile she continued… I have thought about that a lot as well.  And I think, well…it was such a difficult time for both of us.  I felt like I needed to be strong for both of us.  Like I needed to be stoic and emotionless, to be a pillar of strength for you as you grieved over the loss of our son.  On the outside, I looked so strong but I was slowly dying on the inside.  I was losing myself.  I couldn’t let that happen…the great, successful Bette Porter couldn’t lose herself.  So, I did what was easy.  I turned to my work and basically ignored you….Getting lost in her thoughts Bette pointed out…. It was one of those times where I had to chose between doing what was right, and doing what was easy.  It was easier for me to pretend that I had no feelings than it was to face them.  Instead of turning to you and sharing the grief with you…instead of doing the right thing, I kept it all inside me.  It was slowly chipping away at my strength and resolve, and when Candace came along, she was so forceful.  She was so adamant about having me.  And I was so weak, I was so tired, she wanted me, and I couldn’t fight it anymore.”

With tears glistening in her eyes, Tina spoke… “You’re right, You should have turned to me.  We could have worked it out if we stuck together.  But Bette, Turning, she looked into Bette’s eyes, now both women had tears glistening down their cheeks as they had opened up old wounds.  Wounds which both had tried so diligently to cover, to have heal… Bette, we both fucked up.  We both turned away from one another.  I didn’t share much with you.  I was depressed and I turned to myself.  I didn’t share my feelings with you.  I moped around the house all day long.  I was lost and I didn’t turn to you to help me find my way back.  She grabbed for Bette’s hand, and then looked her in the eyes… Thank you for explaining to me.  Thank you for helping me finally understand.”

“Thank you for forgiving me.”

Bette got up from her lounger and pulled Tina up with her.  They met in the middle embracing.  Holding each other as their pain washed away.  Both feeling so much lighter knowing that they had truly been forgiven of their past transgressions. 

After moments of peaceful silence, Bette spoke once again… “Well, I think the chicken should be done.”

“Yea Tina sniffled…Let’s go get that out and then we can go get the girls.”

They made their way back into the house, stopping briefly in the kitchen to get the chicken out of the oven and to cover it with foil to keep it hot.  They then made their way up to Chrissy’s bedroom. 

Bette lightly knocked on the door, but when there was no answer, she slowly opened the door.  As both women made their way into the room, they were captivated by the sight in front of them. 

There lay Chrissy and Lizzy, holding each other as they slept. 

“They must really love each other.” Tina whispered. 

They got closer to the bed as Bette noticed the picture in their hands.  She lightly eased it away from them…

Tina looked at it… “Where did they get that?” Then turned to Bette…

“Don’t look at me…it’s not mine. She thought for a moment… Alice….”

“Why do I get the feeling we have been played?” Tina mused

Bette smirked… “By our two manipulative 10 year olds?...never…”