I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd
need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie
is made up on your side

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do
reminds me of you
And the clothes you left
they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you
I love the things that you do

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you

We were made for each other
out here forever
I know we were
yeah, yeahhh

All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I do I give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me
Yeah

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear will always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you

(Avril Lavigne – When You’re Gone)

Bette and Tina had the terrible experience of Provocations, followed by their reckoning at the house…

Tina left in the middle of the night.  She never went to Alice’s.  She just vanished, without a word or a note, without a notion that she would return.  Bette was left to pick up the pieces of their broken life…

West Hollywood, California – 12 years later…

“Chrissy, honey, come on, we’re going to be late!”

Bette could hear the loud trudges clamoring down the stairs as she was finishing filling up her travel mug with her second dose of coffee for the day.

“Do I really have to go?”

“Sweetie, you are going to have a great time.”

“But, mom….summer camp….seriously?”

“Chrissy, we have talked about this, I have to go on a trip for the gallery and it will be a great experience for you.  I don’t want you wasting your summer away like you did last year when I went away.  You are going to have a great time.  You will make some great friends and, before you know it, 6 weeks will be over and you will be calling me asking me if you can stay there forever…”

“I highly doubt that mom….whatever – Let’s go – we have to stop by The Planet first…”

“Oh we do, do we?  Pray tell – why is that?” Regardless of the fact that Bette and Chrissy were in a hurry, Bette didn’t feel like she was in the mood to face her friends today.  Not today…it would just be too difficult…

Chrissy responded matter- of- factly…“Aunt Alice said that she and Aunt Dana would be there so that I could say good bye to Charlie.”

Bette loved that Chrissy truly loved her cousin Charlie.  Although he was only 4 years old, he had a great respect for his older cousin and Bette knew that he would miss playing with Chrissy over the summer.  She gave into her daughter’s pleadings…  “Ok, I guess we could do that, but only if you promise to be quick…we are already a little behind as it is.”

“Mom, registration ends at 2:00 o’clock…it is 8:00 in the freaking morning…what makes you think it will take us 6 hours to make the 2 hour trip to Santa Barbara?”

“Hey there smartie pants…I am taking account for traffic.  Also, if you remember, registration STARTS at noon, and the earlier you get there, the better cabin you will get…”

Exasperated, Chrissy replied…“God mom, how can you always be so logical with your thinking? …whatever, let’s go…I want to see Charlie.  He loves me a lot and I know he is going to miss having me around this summer, and I promised him that I would come and eat breakfast with him…I can’t break my promise to him mom.”

Bette was amazed by her daughter’s love and loyalty to those in her life… “It’s ok sweetie, I understand – come on, let’s get out of here.”

Bette grabbed Chrissy’s huge duffel bag and began walking out to the car…

“Which car mom?”

“Let’s take the Porsche – it will be a fun drive with the top down.”

Bette knew her daughter loved her brand new silver beauty.  It was so much flashier than her Mercedes SUV. 

“Yea, good idea mom…let’s get moving.”

They quickly got Chrissy’s bag and backpack situated into the back of the car…as they backed out of the driveway, Chrissy was overcome with a sense of nostalgia…

“Good bye house, I will miss you!”

Bette rolled her eyes…“Sooooo dramatic…”

Chrissy turned and glared at her mother, and then burst out into laughter.  Bette joined her in a fit of giggles as she switched gears and zoomed off to meet their friends at The Planet. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chrissy was Bette’s life.  She was her reason for living.  Bette devoted all that she was to her daughter.  After Tina had disappeared 12 years ago, after that painful night following the CAC showing of Provocations, Bette felt like she could not go on with her life.  She was so distraught with the state of her life.  She had instantaneously lost everything because she was weak.  Because she felt like she was missing something in her life.  She was so sad in her life.  Although she had Tina, she felt so alone, so distant from the love of her life.  She had questioned everything that meant anything to her. 

Her affair with Candace was the worst mistake of her life.  The void of Tina made life seem basically unbearable.  Bette had fallen into the depths of a great depression.  She did not know what she could do with herself.  Tina had vanished, no one, none of their friends knew where she was.  It was as though Bette’s betrayal had caused her to snap.  She couldn’t be around anyone or anything that reminded her of the love and life that she had lost.  After that painful night, Tina packed as many of her belongings as she could fit into her suitcase as Bette slumbered in their bed.  She left without a note.  All that remained of Tina were insubstantial belongings, clothes, and the one object which caused Bette to lose all hope of repairing everything that she had broken.  When she awoke, the first thing that she saw when she turned her head to look for Tina was the golden commitment band resting upon Tina’s pillow.  Bette froze at this sight.  She couldn’t get out of bed. 

Kit began to worry about her, her sister usually checked in with her daily.  She hadn’t heard from Tina either which only gave her cause for more concern.  When Kit decided to come over, she was utterly shocked with the sight before her.  She found her beautiful sister, huddled in a ball on her bed, stark naked, moaning in the depths of despair which consumed her.  Kit had no idea what had come to pass between Bette and Tina.  The truth of the matter was difficult for Bette to admit to Kit and all the friends that she and Tina loved so dearly. 

Slowly, but surely, Kit and all of Bette’s friends helped nurse her back to health.  They could do nothing about her heartache and frankly, they were very upset with their beloved Bette for the betrayal that she had bestowed upon their Tina.  But, Bette was their friend, she was their family.  And even though she royally screwed up, they still loved her.  They helped wean her off her dependency on alcohol, they helped get her healthy.  It was a long process.  Bette was constantly preoccupied with thoughts of her loss, of her betrayal. 

It took them months, but finally, Bette was able to go back to work and maintain a semblance of the life that she once had.  She felt like she needed a change.  The life that she had was void of anything joyful.  6 months after the Provocations show, 6 months after the love of her life had left her, the board at the CAC wished to buy Bette out of her contract.  Because Peggy was a firm believer in Bette’s talents, she made the decision up to Bette. 

Bette knew that she needed change.  She opted for a buyout, and with the money, she began to rebuild her life as a gallery owner.  She loved selling art.  She loved being in charge of her shows.  There was so much more professional freedom.  She was sick and tired of all the resistance she was met with at the CAC. 

After another 6 months, and a lot of hard work, the Porter Gallery was up and running.  Bette finally felt some sort of accomplishment in her life.  It had been the hardest year of her life.  Every night she went to sleep, she still yearned for her lost love. 

Soon, the Porter Gallery had been thriving for a year.  All artists were thrilled to hang their art under the brilliant eyes of Bette Porter.  They knew her reputation, and knew that if she hung their work, that they would have no problem in selling it.