Content Rating: R Disclaimer: This Fan Fiction posting contains fictitious characters and storyline, and is intended only for authorized viewing on the Lword.com website. Most characters belong to Ilene Chaiken and Showtime Television. Readers must not modify, copy/plagiarize, disseminate, or take action in reliance upon it, unless permitted by the said author of this Fan Fiction posting. None of the materials provided on this Fan Fiction posting may be used, reproduced or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including the use of any information storage and retrieval system, without written permission from the said author. Author's Note: Hi Everyone!!
Thanks so much for your comments here, the PM's (which a few made me grab my stomach laughing and yes....snorting, which some of you who have heard me on Skype won't let that go). Doesn't happen that often, but when it does, EEEK! LOL
I read this chapter to Ness and Shell last night, as well as part of my next one. There were a few places where I wanted to start laughing, but I had to remain in "character" when I was reciting the dialogue!! LOL.
I received an email from a friend that reads my stories and who I talk to almost everyday on the IM. She was giving me an analogy I wanted to share with you. It was about how some people live for the glory and accolades in life, while other's would rather be remembered for things outside of all the pomp and circumstance.
Here is the examples that she shared with me:
Roberto Clemente was a great short stop. He received 7 gold gloves but what people remember most about him, is that as a player he was always willing to help you become a better player. As a human being he thought it was his responsibility to give back because had so much. Joe DiMaggio has at least 3 rings, and may go down in history as one of the greatest players ever, but when people speak of him they say what a true kind and gentle man he was. On the other hand Babe Ruth, a great player who broke record after record is remembered for a great statistical career, but ALSO being a man who was often unhappy, angry and a drunk.
I thought about that and many other things she mentioned in that email, and she was so right. We can work hard and strive for those things that glorify us, that offer us praise and put fancy things near our names. We can strive to seek being the best we can, which isn't a bad thing, but is if it changes who you are as a human being. Having goals, working to achieve them, striving for success can be healthy, and for some it is their life. For me, I have seen life so differently in recent months. I have found that the success of people isn't something that people give much thought to when they are gone. It is the impressions that they left upon humanity that lives long after them. I told my friend, if I had won an award, I would decline it and ask that it be given to the person who came in behind me, as it provides more warmth for me to applaud other's than to applaud myself. She wasn't the only one who opposed that thought! So, I had to cave on that one. Anyway,it was her email, and my own feelings that got me to thinking about something that really was an example of how I feel.
I gave thought to two funerals I attended for two bosses I had the privilege and honor to work for. One was a full bird Colonel, the other a Major. When their funerals occurred, we had gone through the traditional military protocol when laying a soldier to rest. The symbolism was incredibly moving and humbling to say the least. However, what I remember was when each one lay in the casket, the medals were so shiny. The ribbons were many. Their achievements were worn close to their heart, and yes, it did in fact tell of a life that was driven, accomplished, but it told nothing of the "person." During the eulogy, it was THEN that we learned of the person. Absent was the list of medals, army achievements, etc. In place of that was the acts of that person, and how they touched the lives of people they came in contact with. One spoke of the place they held in their family. Another young Specialist spoke of the mentoring he received in his very first steps out of boot camp. What touched me, was when these colleagues spoke, absent from that speech was the awards and fanfare. The marks left long after they departed us, in a very untimely manner for each, was how they LIVED and not so much what they had GOTTEN. Wasn't that truly the best achievement of all in the end?
I am grateful that I "get" this, that I understand that the things in life that really matter, do not involve competition, outdoing someone else, being the most popular. Don't get me wrong, I have always been competitive by nature when it came to sports in particular. However, in losing quite a number of people from my life at a young age and unexpectedly, I guess I became more humbled by what the "value" of a person really is all about at the heart of that human and not the surface.
When you have time, take a moment to reflect on your own life. What is important to you? How would you like to be remembered? Don't get caught up in all the materialistic things, the labels, the popularity contests, the selfishness that life can allow us to be drawn into. Instead, try as you may to live simple, appreciate where you are in life, give unselfishly - because what you get back is far more rewarding than anything you could put a number on, leave that lasting impression on someone.
I remember A Life of a Child saying and that is what I try to live my life by. That saying is:
A hundred years from now It will not matter What my bank account was, The sort of house I lived in Or the kind of car I drove
But the world may be different Because I was important In the life of a child
I take that, and I apply that to people in general. All the pomp and circumstance means nothing, it is how you touch a life that matters the most. That is just my opinion, and I won't declare myself to be the expert or to be right. For me......well that is the motto I try my best to live by.
Thank you friends, for reading my stories and taking stroll with me as I share of myself to you the many readers.
On to the personal shout outs.....
Luvus: LOL yeah, you and the Wildtouch below seemed to find that line lip licking and desirable. HEE HEE. Thanks for reading and commenting! You were first too! You broke my Chapter 2 cherry!!! * wink *
wildtouch: ROFLMAO!!! Now HOW ...HOW DID I KNOW that you would love that line??? That no panties line??? Eh? Tina sure was an animal. She is a pretty forward chick in this fic eh? Thank you Wild1, for reading and leaving a comment, you know it means a lot coming from you my friend. The begging? Hmm.....GRRRR...bring it on woman!!! LOL
paulinhavet: ROFLMAOO...hey woman, hope you had you drool cup with you then!!! LOL. Yeah the car sex was something that I almost could feel...er...um...not in THAT way, but the sultry air, the humidity, the windows steaming up. I can't tell you how many cars I approached that were parked, in an empty lot, windows steamed and I tapped on the window with my flashlight. After first putting the cruiser's spotlight from the lightbar on the car (hoping that before I got there, they would at least get dressed). LOL!!! I had images of an Officer Chicki approaching the car!! LMAOO..Ooo LA LA.
dalloway3: Awww, I'm so glad that I could make you happy there Dally. ** handing you a coffee** to make you REALLY happy of course! Yeppers, my Nessie is leaving for 12 days to Myrtle Beach SC to name just one place. Then in about a month onward to Georgia! Remember to set up the PPV for the mud wrestling. *whispering* I am sooo gonna whip NYGL's butt, even if she is younger than the ole chickster.
Audi: Oh you bet Audi, there will be many a things coming their way. Ya figure, they are young and the things they see will be many. Their reactions as young ones will differ as they mature into adults. That process will be a lot of fun.
pogo74: Ahhh G, I understand completely. I think I have a feeling what might have touched a chord. Unfortunately, if it is what I think, part of that is my reaching upon some of my own past. Not easy, not fun, but one way or another ya just have to try to heal. I hope you will have the strength to continue to read. Thanks so much for all your support.
Rau: Thanks Rau! I appreciate you taking the time to read. You are one of those author's who truly does sample other author's stories, and I have a great deal of respect for you my friend. So glad I inspired you to write...er..which part? The smut?? LOL!!!!! Thanks again hun.
delicious: Awww Smut, Delicious, I mean Shell!!! LMAO....that was such a darling of a comment you left. Thank you my friend. It is an honor to call you friend. You too have brought many many MANY laughs into my life, as well as into Ness's life. You understand her reservation on some level, and you have done such a wonderful job at putting her mind at ease. You are a gift to both of us, and we both have no doubt in our mind that you will be with us for the long term called life. Over the past month or so, you have shared things with me, about you connection over the past two years that I found absolutely incredible, and which made me stop and give a lot of thought to those silent readers that have known so much about my life over the past two years, in how the comments and author's notes were shared. I don't have to share the details, but some of the things you knew, I guess I never realized were so blatantly obvious. Where the hell were you when I needed some advice hun??? LMAO!!! Yeah yeah...sitting back and chuckling as you waited to see just what Chicki was going to do with her life. You will never know how much it means to me that you are in my life. You crack me up so much, and I look forward to our daily phone calls (uh..totally need that Cingular plan or we are going to BOTH need another job to pay the cell bill), the Emails (ROFLMAO..yeah, so much so that the damn system got bogged down yesterday), and our lengthy wee of the hour conversations on Skype when you put me and/or us to bed. Gotta love the whole tag team analogy. I shared that with Ness and she laughed her ass off. What can I say babe? You rock my world, and I know you definitely rock Nessa's. Now on to the second part of your comment. Okay you once again had me laughing harder than ever about the 1 o'clock your time (west coast) or my time (east coast). Hmmm.....okay I could really say something bad but I'll save that for when we talk on the phone. LOL!!! I could go on and on about your comment, as well as last night on skype (sorry I fell asleep ** looking down**) It's okay, I'll make it up to you I promise. * wink * Got get BBR3 and tie her to your tractor so that you gals can make practice on time!!! Make sure those Pom Pom's are ready to go. Love, Hugs, and Kisses from us both. XoXoX
Ann Ticipation: LOL, yep...totally inching out. You have hit it on the head with Tee. Her coming to terms outwardly with her sexuality is definitely being hindered by her parents and their hard and prejudiced views.
Probie: Hey Probie, ahhhhh the good ole days eh?? ** Smirking** What oh what could you possibly be talking about? LOL! I think the relationship is going to be a bit tense, particularly if they try to maintain it in college (whether they get into the same schools or not). Young love has so many hopes, yet some of them can be wishful thinking more than logical thinking. Ahh...yes, well...I absolutely agree that it is extremely negligent for a family to sweep abuse under the carpet. I unfortunately know about that all too well. It sucks the esteem and self worth right out of that child. In time, that child grows into an adult, and one can only hope that with the right intervention through therapy, friends, and partner's, that esteem and worth can once again grow. I think going to college will help Tina a bit, but then again, the seeds her parents planted, unfortunately are ones that will be carried for some time.
Packer: Hey Packer ya big gaymo!!!! ROFLMAO! Got your text message on my phone when I actually charged it up!!! It went flat last night, so sorry about that. I know you love an Alpha Tina, and you so know that her going all wild and tiger like on Bette was all about you. LOL! Thanks for your support, friendship and incredible loyalty. You're the best babe. Talk to you later hun!
Ness: Hmmmm......someone was distracting you huh? LMAOOO I just wonder who that pussy, I mean cat could be? LOL! Aww baby you know I hold my head high. It has taken some time, but I really feel good about myself, about you, about us, about the people that surround us. I don't think we could really be in a better place with how rich we are. I am glad that we both realize, through a hard process albeit, what the "important" stuff really is about. I love you babe, yesterday, today, and tomorrow. I know your comment would have been longer if a certain someone....ROFLMAO...god she makes me almost pee my panties. LOL!!!! I just got a freaking text message from her about my CatScan I just had done....just ask her what she asked me. LMAO! When I have surgery, we will have to be sure that I get a king size hospital bed so I can have you girls do a sleepover each night with me. ** wink ** Love you honey. XoXoX
ut: LOL!!! Yummy car sex eh? Yep, been there done that on many occasions. WITH the same person thank you very much....for what do you take me for?? Hmmm...not so sure about the same college. Thanks for reading and commenting UT, it means a lot.
trecelovinit: LMAO!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR back at ya !! Hee Hee.
gogk: They are teens, so I am sure that right now there is some struggles going on in many different directions. Let's hope that they can remain a couple as they move forward in life.
Biased: ROFLMAO...oh lady you are NOT alone in like the Commando Tina in ation. LOL!!! The Packer and Wildtouch is at the front of that list for sure. Unfortunately I agree about sweeping child sex abuse under the rug as not being something more common than we want to admit to. I myself experienced that, and the long term affects are felt today in the way my self esteem and self worth had been defined at that young age. However, I am lucky to be on the right road to recovering that innocence that was denied and stolen during my childhood. I thank god for the friends, for Ness and others who have really helped me see a better me. I think you will see some things come out about the abuse and sexuality confusion later.
rsa: Thank you so much rsa. I appreciate you reading and commenting. I do not think you are alone in your enjoyment of the car sex. It was kind of steamy, I will admit. HEE HEE.
wizard1: Hi Wiz! LMAOOO..yes, you know that young love when you are just blurting out the "I love you forever and ever, and we will never ever break up" Awwwww....cute, but often times unrealistic. I am humbled when I learn that my stories helped people along the way. Thank you for sharing that I was able to do that for you. Those are the "rewards" and "awards" I was talking about before.
jb621: Hey Goombah! You did hit the nail on the head, in that Tina's only way that she was able to share her feelings for Bette, to "mark her territory" if you will, was through sharing her body with her. I am sure, hell I am confident that Tina is struggling with not being able to proudly walk the school halls flaunting (cause lord knows at that age that is what its about) her relationship with this beautiful brunette. I am sure that adds to her insecurities a lot. Thank you for reading and for really "getting" that piece of the story in particular. The sex in the car was a symbol of desperation in that particular encounter.
tylo: Thank you for your comment here, but most important is your email. It brought tears to my eyes. You really do have a way with words my friend, and I am grateful for our friendship. I couldn't agree with you more about the guts of a person being so much more important than the glory. Hoops & Layups has been a lot of fun. Remember just "insert hot" and it will just come together as promised. 9 to 9. * wink *
Kendra35: Hey K, LMAO...yeah who does need clothes? ROFLMAO!!! Wouldn't mind our ladies hanging at a nudist camp for one weekend. * wink * No crying now sweetie, and if you do, make sure the computer comes with a "liquid" warranty protection on it. LOL! Thank you so much for your generous words, they mean so much.
vi2mim2 ROFLMAOOOOO OMG I forgot you had chosen that NC17 Chicki Label. You are too funny woman! GRRRRRRR back at ya. Drama is on the way on a few fronts. EEK! Yeah, Tina's family sure is the type you wish you weren't a part of. We know we cannot pick our family, but hell we can pick our friends, and I am learning more and more, that its important to pick those ones that are genuine, warm, compliment your personality, HONEST, and trustworthy. I am grateful for being blessed with those people in my life, and the ones I have a hesitance about........well......let's jut say I have chosen not to allow them the privilege of being in my life. It may sound harsh, but life's lessons only have meaning if we embrace what we learned from them and then work not to repeat the hurt that was bestowed upon us from others. It is unfortunate, but sometimes that means cutting people out of your life, changing jobs, changing relationships, etc. Thanks for reading and commenting Mim, it means so much! ; - ))
popcorntina: God that nickname/moniker you have is too damn cute!!! LOL. I will update soon I promise..like..now! : - ))
hope4tb: LOL...is that ALLLLL you came away with from that entire chapter was the car sex?? Huh? Huh? * poking you *
caitlin-jayne: ROFLMAO okay CJ, get your drool cup hun. If you lost it, I may have a few poking around here....that is if Delicious Shell and BBR3 haven't run off with them and their pom poms. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment. You have quite a few interesting stories in the works there yourself, and you taking the time to take a look at this fic is extremely thoughtful of you. Thanks again.
Lamentamini: Ahh girl if you EVER saw the chat's I have had lately, they would have you peeing your panties! I'm telling you, I am pulling from a little experience online lately. It does have that potential to be a long one for sure! : - ))))) Thanks Lament!
claricestarling: Hee Hee...okay the laughter is catchy here. Thank you so much for reading and commenting Clarice, it means so much. I hope you are in for the long haul my friend. I honestly will try to post about three chapters of this story per week, and perhaps one of A Life Denied. That one just seems to pull all the life out of me!!! LOL
AmandaMG: Hey AMG, what are you doing reading at work huh? LOL!!! Not good babe! Not when it says NC17! LMAOOOOO. Hope to catch up with ya over the weekend.
rockingirl: Yes, I will admit that I am loving this story in their younger years. I can take advantage of all the funny, boisterous behavior that occurs at that age. LOL!!! Not that I know a thing about that ....** looking around ** HEE HEE. I loved the IM too!
Silvercat: Hey you! Thanks for reading and commenting. Catch ya online soon!
Have a wonderful weekend ladies. I'll be in touch with a number of you over the weekend, in between many things Ness and I have planned. Hope you all have a great one!! Hugs and Kisses, Chicki
Summary: Cat fight at the High School. Tina's closeted life is taking it's toll. College acceptance letter's coming in. Total Views: 3864 times.
TK: LMAOOOOO it was hysterical. You had cranked her up the rest of the day babe. You said something about her landing strip and she was mortified. She had forgotten we talked about our hooch’s one time.
BP: That was really funny. She was pretty uptight about it.
~S~: yeah BUT once again, the power of the pussy came through. Who ran out and bought a webcam right away? She did.
TK: she sure did. Someone else I know did too….** wink **
BP: I already had one.
TK: like hell u did.
~S~: LOL…okay kids, I have to run. Later”
TK: night Shaney
BP: later Shane
~S~: Out
TK: Hmm….so…..looks like we are alone. * arching brow*
BP: Yep…looks like that…what to do?
TK: GRRRRRRRRR
BP: GRRRRRRR
************** NEXT DAY
I was leaning into my locker retrieving my History of Art book when Felicia had leaned against the locker next to mine. I hadn’t noticed right away, until I started to take a step back, at which time I noticed the heels. I stood there for a brief moment, taken by how beautiful she was. She was one of the most sought after women in the school, by both boys and girls. I leaned on my locker door which remained open.
“Hi Bette.” Felicia brushed a stray piece of hair away from her face.
“Hi Felicia”
“I was wondering if you might have some time one night this week to get together?”
I felt my heart skip a beat as I forced myself to swallow. My throat had gone dry and it seemed almost impossible to muster any saliva. The way she said it…..it was inviting.
“Uh…for…what?”
“I needed some help with my art paper. Who best to ask for help than you right?”
“The paper isn’t due for a few weeks,” I said with some hope that maybe she might find someone else to help her. It wasn’t that I didn’t like Felicia, I did. The problem was that people had already begun to question what was going on with me. Many of the girls knew I was gay and yet I wasn’t dating….at least not to them, therefore they considered me available. I didn’t want to put myself in a compromising position where Felicia felt she could make a pass once we were alone.
“I know. However, it will take some time to pull it all together.” Felicia was persistent to say the least.
“True”
“Can I ask you something Bette?”
“Um….I guess”
“You have got to be one of the most beautiful girls in the school. It’s no secret we are both lesbians. Why haven’t we gotten together, and more important, why they hell have you been single for so long?”
I didn’t know what to say. Talk about a loaded question. I couldn’t “out” Tina. I couldn’t be honest and say I was with someone either, for it would only spark her curiosity even further to discover just who it was. I was at a loss.
“Porter shy?” Felicia smiled as she took a step in closer. I could smell her perfume as she came close enough to slip something into the front pocket of my jeans.
“Call me……I’m up for some fun.” Felicia walked past me, and I stood there stunned…captivated by the power she exuded.
I reached into my pocket at pulled out the small piece of paper. It was her phone number, name, and a small heart all in what appeared to be her own handwriting. I stood there staring at it a moment before placing it back in my pocket and closing the locker door. As I did, I didn’t realize Tina had been standing there on the other side of it. I wasn’t sure just how long she had been there for, but her expression was tight, her face a bit flushed. Before I could say a word, she turned from me and started walking really fast.
“Tee……wait up.” I shouted after her. Once I caught up to her, I took hold of her shoulder. “Please….wait. Let me explain”
“Explain? Explain what? Explain why the school’s lesbian slut is all over you!? Explain why you seemed to be enjoying it!? Explain why she had her mouth next to your ear and I didn’t see you try to move in the least!?”
“Tina, she asked me to help her with the paper she is doing in our Art Class”
“Really? Do you honestly think that is the only thing she wants?”
Tina was furious. It was a combination of her jealousy, but also that she had that inability to be “out” like Felicia was. She wasn’t able to plant that flag saying that Bette was off limits, that she and Bette were an item. She was more outraged with the walls and boundaries she lived with, than what Bette had really done. However, Bette was the one to take the brunt of her upset.
“Tee…..I’m not interested in Felicia in that way. You have nothing to worry about”
The second bell rang, indicating that students had 3 minutes to be in the classroom.
“I have to go” Tina said before running down the hall to her class.
**************** LATER
It was 2:35pm, and I was sitting on the hood of my car waiting for Tina to come out of school. I had hoped we could talk about what happened earlier in the day, as we hadn’t had a moment to really talk about it. Study hall had come and gone, and she hadn’t showed up. I tried to call her cell phone, but it kept going to her voicemail. I placed my sunglasses on as I listened to the tunes that were coming from the cars speakers.
“Bette!! Come here…..HURRY!” I looked over to the other side of the parking lot where Alice was shouting for me and motioning to go. A number of students had already gathered. Without hesitation, I slid off the hood of my car and ran over, hoping that as I did, I wouldn’t miss Tina coming out of the school. It was important to me that we talk.
