Tina’s eyes locked with mine as she pushed a strand of hair from my face. “I hope not Bette”

I could see the fear in them. I wasn’t sure anymore if it was really about the unknowns that lay ahead in terms of College, her having fears about us remaining in the closet and whether we could both last in that type of life, or if it were something all together different.

“Only we can determine that Tee……as long as we love one another and we know that we want to be together, what can stop it?”

“Nothing I guess”

“That’s right……nothing. Tee…..we WILL have our own place one day. After College we are going to have great jobs. We will have a nice house, cars, kids. We have our whole life ahead of us”

Tina just smiled and said nothing. I could see the hope in her eyes, but that glimmer was also matched with a seed….the seed of doubt. She leaned back in and kissed me, as she did, we could taste ourselves on the other’s lips as our mouth’s reengaged in another steamy and sultry kiss. It wasn’t long before we were having sex again, and it would be a few more times before we ended up heading back to her house later on.

*******************
TINA’S HOUSE

“I’ll get you on the IM,” Tina said as she got out of my car.

“Okay….I should be online in about an hour”

“I love you Porter”

“I love you too TK”

I watched as Tina ran up the walkway to the front door. She turned and waved back to me before going through the front door and into her house. I wished so much that I could put her doubts to rest. However, I realized that only time, and our ability to stay together no matter what schools we ended up at, would be what would remove that doubt. I had been with a fair amount of girls, but Tina....she was different.

**************
LATER

“Tina, Dad wants to see you.” Tina’s mother seemed a little serious.

“Where is he?” Tina sensed something was wrong but she wasn’t sure what it was.

“He is in his study”

Tina went to the study and knocked on the doors. She was apprehensive, because traditionally when her father was in the study, it was that he chose to not be interrupted. To be sent there, was unusual.

“Come in”

As Tina entered, her father had just lit his cigar. The smoke was hovering around his face as he puffed on it to get it going.

“Mom said you wanted to see me”

Jerry motioned for his daughter to take a seat on one of the leather chairs that faced his mahogany desk. There were few times that Tina was ‘summoned’ to her father’s study, one time she would rather not remember at all, for it elicited some rather disturbing memories. While she waited for her father to talk, she couldn’t help but recall that day when at the young age of eight, a ‘family meeting’ took place there. It was the moment they addressed, as a family, Tina’s being victimized by her mother’s sister’s husband. During that meeting, it was decided that it was best for the family to disregard what had happened during that 2 year period, and in doing so, put the matter to rest. Tina stared at the small chip in the wood at the base of the desk. It was the same blemish she stared at on that uncomfortable day.

“Tina. I played golf today with Dan Cahill, your Biology teacher”

Tina looked up from the base of the desk, waiting for what her father would say next. She never had any issues with Mr. Cahill, so she was curious what any of this was about.

“I was a little concerned at what he had implied”

“What?”

“Well, his son, Jarrod had told his Dad that ……there were some rumors that you are a Lesbian”

Tina felt her face go flushed. Her father was known to be a pretty forward man, and this moment was an example of how blunt he could be. Her initial reaction was that she wanted to tell him that her sexuality was really none of his business. However, she also knew that saying that was an admission. At the very same time she was trying hard not to show any physical or emotional reaction to his question, she struggled with what she would say to him. She felt this enormous sense of betrayal in denying her love for Bette. Hell she felt she was betraying her own self in lying to her family about who she really was.

“Tina? Did you hear me?”

“Yes, I did”

“You realize how embarrassing this is to me…to our family don’t you?”

“Dad, I can’t help the rumors that get started. Kids are ignorant and immature”

“Why would Jarrod say something like this?”

“Because he’s …….a pompous ass to be honest”

“I don’t appreciate that language young lady”

“He is! He is one of those really scummy guys that just want’s to have sex with as many girls in the school as he can. I won’t put out, therefore he doesn’t like me”

Tina had quickly devised a response that she was sure her father would feel proud of. He puffed on his cigar as he took in what his daughter had revealed.

“Ah…..so because you won’t become a number under his belt, he is spreading a rumor that you are a homosexual. Interesting…….well then…..I’m proud of you young lady. I never gave that possibility a thought”

“Dad, most of the guys at school are like that. They just want to go out with you so you can boost their ego. I’m sure you wouldn’t want rumors that your daughter is sleeping with all the boys in school….would you?”

“Most certainly not! I’ll deal with Cahill next time we hit the green”

Tina took a deep breath in and exhaled it slowly. “Anything else?”

“We need to sit down soon regarding the schools you applied to. We should be hearing back this week and I’m hoping that we will hear back soon about Yale and Harvard. I think those will offer you the best education and opportunities to follow”

Tina’s heart sunk once again. She was hoping for California completely. At worse she wanted to have to just commute by car to see Bette, certainly not to be that far away. She had been hoping with all her heart that she wouldn’t be accepted to the other schools that her father insisted she apply to. If accepted, she would have to somehow explain it all to Bette, for she hadn’t been aware of Tina’s applications to schools outside of California.

“Okay.” Was about all Tina could muster before excusing herself.

***************

I had been online for a little bit, IM’g with Shane and Alice while I waited for Tina. I wasn’t sure what the delay was, but thought maybe she was just enjoying a hot shower longer than usual.

AL: It was funny as hell. Tina was ready 2 rip Jenny’s hair out

~S~: I wish I saw that! She would have probably accused me of giving her a bad haircut

AL: lol, yep

~S~: Porter u there?

BP: Yes, waiting 4 Tee

AL: Where is she?

BP: Don’t know

~S~: Hey I can’t believe I didn’t tell u guys. I heard back from Laney College. I’ve been accepted!

AL: Shaney way 2 go

BP: That’s gr8 news, u must be excited.

~S~: Very. It is one of the more popular beauty schools.

BP: I still have my fingers crossed 4 Stanford because they have a gr8 communications program that Tee would probably be accepted in 2. She applied there.