Previously….

“Well believe….and believe hard baby because I’m not going anywhere. I know you are afraid to love and lose. There are times my heart aches because I know what you are probably going through in taking this chance. I promise you Bette….I’ll never hurt you…….ever”

Fran couldn’t see Bette smile as tears continued down her face. “That means so much to me”

“I know…..I can feel it” Fran said. “I wish I was there holding you”

“I wish you were too”

“One day baby……when things settle…when you and I get to that comfort place together…..one day”

“Your strength and certainty is what I need Fran. It helps me so much….you can’t imagine”

“Good….you hold onto that. When you are feeling like you are having your doubts, you just remember what I have told you. I’m not going anywhere……you have my word”

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NEXT MORNING

I was in the kitchen reading the morning newspaper and drinking a cup of coffee when Angie had come downstairs. She was already dressed for school which surprised me and prompted me to look at my watch.

“It’s only 715…why are you all dressed for school?” I asked.

Angie shrugged. She remained quiet and didn’t answer me.

“Honey? Do you feel okay?”

“Sure”

I could see that Angie seemed a bit different. I started to believe that maybe she did read the details of Tina’s file.

“Um….Auntie Alice said you had gotten some homework done last night”

“Yep….it wasn’t hard”

“Angie……is everything okay? You seem a little off today”

“I’m okay Mom. Did you have fun last night with Fran?”

“I did…..it was nice…..how about some breakfast?”

“What do we have?” Angie asked as she took a seat at the kitchen table.

“What would you like? I can throw together some eggs…..toast…waffles….cereal”

I was hoping to read something…anything that might tell me whether Angie had in fact read Tina’s Death Certificate. I so much wanted to just come out and ask her, but at the same time, I knew I was risking bringing her attention to something she may not know about.

“I’ll just have some cereal”

“Okay”

As I retrieved a couple of bowls from the cupboard, Grace came into the kitchen wagging her tail as she made her way towards Ange.

“Hi Gracie” Angie said as she started to play with her.

While I grabbed the milk from the fridge, Angie almost appeared to be back to her normal self as she played with the dog. After we shared breakfast, Angie hugged and kissed me goodbye before heading out to the bus stop. As usual, I watched from the door until I saw her get on the bus. Grace came running down the driveway back to the door after seeing her off.

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LATER

I was a bit nervous dialing the therapists office. I guess there was a part of me worried about what revelation might be made when I hit this head on. Why did it seem that the night before, I was convinced that Angie knew something and yet today, now, I had a feeling that maybe she had not? It was probably wishful thinking or some false sense of hope that she hadn’t.

“Monroe Counseling Services, this is Annie”

“Annie, it’s Bette Porter…may I please speak with Cindy?”

“I can give you her voicemail Ms. Porter, Cindy is on vacation this week”

“Vacation?! All week?” I was panicked when I heard this.

“Yes, is this an emergency? We have other therapists covering”

“Um…….I………I don’t know” I didn’t quite know what to do. Cindy had been my therapist for years as I made this journey, and I wouldn’t want Angie dealing with someone brand new. It seemed most appropriate and beneficial for her to see Cindy.

“Ms. Porter?” Annie wasn’t sure Bette was still connected.

“Yes…I’m sorry…I won’t need another therapist…thank you” When I hung up, I remembered that Cindy had actually given me a cell number to call when things were really bad at one time. I wasn’t sure if she still had the same number, but it certainly was worth searching for.

As I had begun searching through the address book I kept in the drawer by the phone, my cell phone rang. I looked at the number on the screen and couldn’t help by smile, it was Fran.

“Hello”

“Hey baby…..how are things?” Fran asked, with genuine concern her voice.

“I’m not sure Fran. When she came downstairs this morning, she seemed a bit off, and then things leveled off”

“Do you think you might be too perceptive and jumping to conclusions because you believe she saw the Death Certificate?”

“I’ve asked myself that all morning. I called Cindy and she is on vacation this week. I don’t want to deal with someone covering”

“I understand that. Perhaps waiting a week might be okay…..I mean if she seems to be doing okay right now”

“She does…..I’m trying to locate Cindy’s cell phone number. She had given it to me many years back when I was having a real rough time. I thought I had jotted it down in my phone book but I can’t seem to find it”

“What time are you headed into work?”

“I’m working from home today”

“Oh okay….I was thinking you’re really late honey”

“Nooo” I laughed thinking how late I really would have been if I was suppose to be at work. “Do you have any plans this evening?”

“No….just have to stop at the dry cleaners and pick up some clothes. The night is free after that”

“Would you like to come here for dinner?”

“To your place?”

“Yes”

I knew Angie had felt left out about not being able to meet Fran yet. The little she did talk to me in the morning was about my date. I wasn’t so sure if her upset was over the fact she hadn’t had the chance to meet Fran. I explained this to Fran to get her take on it.

“Hmm…..that could be a part of why she was not too happy this morning. I guess the only way to find out if she was upset at not meeting me, is to meet me right?”