But hadn’t she always been my sun?

I let Angie’s clothes ran through my fingers, clinging onto the fabric she had touched, as if it would bring me closer to her...

Now remember: ‘I totally defer to you’ when she asks where you are planning on hanging out when she is working...

I needed her attention on me one last time, and knew I would only get it through her, through the woman who would soon be given the chance I so desparetly wanted, through the woman who could live the life I craved, going over the things we had discussed earlier

I totally defer to you

She stood and faced me, her eyes sparkling, her lips into that hint of a smile that had always, and would always, take my breath away

And when she wants to join you for dinner?

Wasn’t it pathetic that I asked the questions in such a way, she would have to answer as if I was the object of her undevided attention?

Or...

More honestly...

The object of her life-altering love?

I yeild to your wishes

Her eyes, playfull ribbons of light in those dark magnificent eyes... The eyes that had brought me to life with that first glance so many years ago...

Oh what had I been thinking, letting go of that?

She still had that amazing power over me, I had known that, but I sensed it now as my soul responded to the uttered words, even though I knew they weren’t ment for me...

And when she equivocates  about whether its a good idea for you to sleep together tomorrownight?

Oblivious to my underlying feelings, she seemed to be really enjoying this pop quiz I had sprung on her, and flawlessly gave me the last answer I had required, bending her head in a surrendering gesture...

A gesture that brought back the memories to a time where happiness was just as logical as grass being green... When we both had bowed for the substance that would later result to my pregnancy

I bow to your superior judgement...

I winced at the hurt the memory evoked... Losing him had tore us apart, had tore me apart, I still felt the agony throbbing in my heart, merged together with this new loss...

For this was it...

The time for me to let her go...

Good luck

I had uttered the words quickly, my eyes fixated on hers, and yet I felt, rather then saw, her approach...

As our lips met, all I could do was give in, it was as if all the straint muscles relaxed, as if my heart no longer needed to cry out in utter hurt, as if my soul had found its home...

I leaned in at the exact moment she withdrew...

For a split second our gazes maintained in that once unbreakable connection...

Good luck to you too...

Dazzled, my eyes danced to the lips that had just been grazing mine... I tried to regain myself, but heard the absence of my soul in my voice as I blurrily asked

With what?

She looked at me as if I had just asked her the most ridiculous question, and as the name passed her lips, it took me a while to comprehend the meaning behind it

With Kate...

Kate?

Kate...

What else could I do then look away to prevent her from seeing the hurt of realization to wash over me... I felt the pain ripple through me, as circles of liquid a stone thrown into a lake would evoke...

Oh... yeah...

I glanced up, only to see her franickly looking around in a motion that was so familiair to me, checking if she had anything she needed. A tender wave of agony washed over me...

I was losing her...

I’ll call you

Utter panick ran through me with the speed of light... I could feel the pounding of my heart, the wavering of my trembling hands as I clunched onto the garment I was holding...

She was indeed leaving...

Ok

Tears on the verge of being shed, almost did not allow me to utter that word...

You’ll lock up?

And all I could do was sit there and look upto her...

Yeah Ive got it, Ive got it

Meet those wonderfull big brown eyes one last time...

Wonder... Go over my ‘what if’... One last time...

Ok thank you thank you thank you, bye

Before I let her go.

Bye...

As I heard the click of the door, falling in its lock, I knew that sound would always haunt me...

My jaw clenched, my eyes tightly shut, my heart shattered, I tried to feel the happiness that I had seen in her eyes...

All I want is for you to be happy...

I quivery whispered, right before the first uncontrolable sob rushed through my body...

Feeling how every bit of controll washed out of me, I crumbled, my voice desparate as the tears found their way down my cheeks...