Handing the small envelope to the woman behind the desk, the pounding of her heart somewhat subsided as she heard the confidence in her voice

I’m leaving this for Shane McCutcheon, she will pick it up later.

Somewhat taken aback the librarian-looking woman looked up at her, but, recovering from the shock quickly, she took the flat, white object that was handed to her...

Tina, who had allready started to head away from the desk, feeling the woman’s stare, turned  back quickly

Don’t open that!

Startled the uptight woman sat somewhat more straight, looking at the beautifull woman before her reassuringly

No Ma’am...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

As the wind caught her long blonde locks, Tina felt free again. The burning eyes that had haunted her in the fancy hotel were easier to shake off when she was on the streets. The heat forcing her to tie her jacket around her hips, the blonde made her way to the place Shane had told her to go...

Bette’s voice kept resounding in her head...

Something conservative...

Breathing in deeply she made her way passed the windows, glancing inside the stores, almost oblivious to the either appreciating or condescending gazes she recieved.

To Tina, all the stores looked alike, and she would never have given either of them a second look if she hadn’t been a woman on a mission...

Something elegant...

Suddenly aware of the fact that she was biting her nails, the blonde stopped the nervous action, at once determently walking into a random store, thinking it would be as good as any other...

Fierce light eyes followed her instantly, and as predator jumping to its prey, a saleswoman was next to her within a second

Can I help you?

Startled, and slightly annoyed  by the woman’s sudden action and upperclass tone, Tina heard how her accent became heavier as she answered:

Just checkin’ things out

The woman’s expression showed utter disgust, and inwardly Tina felt her stomach turn and her heart wrench, but her face showed nothing of it...

Are you looking for something in particular?

The blonde felt how her heart fluttered in the most nervous rhythm, and anxiously she tried to suppress it by inhaling sharply:

No... Yes... Something conservative...

She heard the slight shiver in her voice, and mentally reprimanded herself for it... Who was this woman to judge her? Those bright eyes gliding disapprovingly over her outfit, untill they met hers.

And with that single glance, Tina Kennard was swept back in time... She tried to prevent the memories to creep upto the surface, focussing on one of the outfits that was displayed elegantly.

You have some nice stuff...

Thank you...

Even in those two syllables the agonizing slighting tone was clearly audible, and Tina felt a constricting sensation in her chest.

How much is this one?

What was she trying to proof to herself? Inhaling sharply, the blonde had to use all her strength to keep the memories from overwhelming her... The judging eyes when she had started showing her pregnancy only causing minor injuries to her soul. The always condescending sharp remarks her mother and more than one stepfather had made to address her, as lively scars, ready to be torn open...

I don’t think it would fit you...

The young mother lost her patience with the saleswoman who seemed to have every intention of  brushing her off.... Knowing she wouldnt have the heart to try another store she continued her torture, answering:

I didn’t ask if it would FIT, I asked how much it was...

Her light eyes never leaving Tina’s hazel ones, the arrogant womans voice changed as she addressed her co-worker. The contrast of the respectfull melodious sound of the way she talked to the pretty woman was stinging, and left Tina gasping

How much is this one, Mary?

The woman called Mary didn’t miss a beat, and it almost seemed as if they played a game as two women each took a step in her direction, making her feel like a trapped animal.

Its very expensive

As if the blonde hadn’t heard her collegues answer, the saleswoman repeated the patronizing words.

Its very expensive

Feeling how her muscles tensed up, the blonde turned away averting her eyes, not wanting to show how much the words hurted her... She was allowed to be in this shop wasn’t she? She did have money, and she needed a dress...

Listen I have money to spend in here ok?

She should have expected it... The words followed... But, they fell onto her as harsh raindrops, sudden and cold, shattering her jittery pounding heart...

I dont think we have anything for you here, you are obviously in the wrong place...

As they walked into her, Tina felt how the words and the women drew her backwards, hurt flowing through her veins in a waving rhythm, pain finding its way to the tips of her fingers...

Please leave

Feeling the stinging agony of unshed tears, Tina Kennard fled, wishing it couldn’t be only from the shop, but also from her life...

With each step, she felt how flashes of memories crept through the walls of protection that had crumbled... How come these women affected her so? Tina tried to harden herself, mentally stating they weren’t important... But the judgement in their eyes had put her back in -what she thought was- her rightfull place...

The euphoria of that morning so inappropriate, she felt, at that moment so clearly, that noone would ever see her as more then a hooker...

She was indeed that good-for-nothing white trash her mother had always told her she was...

Biting on her lower lip to prevent the tears from falling, Tina never remembered how she made her way back to the hotel... Trembling, with the immense strain of her task, the memories overwhelming her as she felt the judgemental looks slide over her in the streets, all she could see where the faces of the people who had hurt her in the same way the stranger just had...

And all she felt was the immense pain of....

Knowing...

The moment would come...