Notes from Underground – Viva La Jobette

Short Story 4: a Tibetter’s re-write of Jobette’s scenes

Jodi Lerner’s Studio

Jodi is trying to talk while Bette is trying to take off Jodi’s overalls and pushing her towards the bed on the back of the studio, behind the “The Unauthorized abortion of W.”

Jodi: (with frustration that is written all over her beautiful face) “Bette, read my lips…you don’t understand what I’m saying. We can’t do this.”

Bette: (trying to capture Jodi’s moving hands so she could kiss her) “I don’t want to read your lips, I want to kiss them…I want them to kiss me…I want to kiss them while they are kissing me.”

Jodi: (inching away from Bette as her hands moving very rapidly) “But that’s what I’m trying to say, I don’t want to kiss you, not until you tell Tina to fuck off.”

Bette: (stopping what she was doing) “Wait…you’re too fast…you look like one of those TV commercial’s women who clean their house so fast like they have 10 arms…did you just say that you’re trying to tell me that you want to kiss Tina while she fucks you?”

Jodi: (now speaking very slowly and using her hands again to illustrate what she was saying), “No…I want to fuck you but Tina is still around and I need your undivided attention.”

Bette: (watching Jodi’s mouth and her hands at the same time) “Fuck, I have a really hard time understanding you today…all I got from this is that you want to fuck someone, then something about circles and detention…am I right?”

Jodi: (frustrated and upset) “Argh…fuck…I need Tom.”

Bette: “Oh, I understood that…Tom…wait, you want to fuck Tom? Care for a three-some?” (she wiggled her eyebrows)

Jodi threw her hands in the air with frustration and turned around, leaving Bette without another word.

Bette: (pouting) “What did I say?”

Bette: (waiting for Jodi to return and she seems bored, so she grabs one of Jodi’s power tools and began waving it around, while talking aloud to herself) “I’m a very handy carpenter and I nail planks for living…I can nail you so hard you’ll forget about tomorrow…I am hot, sweaty carpenter…”

Jodi: (comes back and is speaking through Tom) “What in the hell are you doing? Put that drill down, Bette. I don’t allow anyone to play with my toys. Do I come to your house and play with your toys? No.”

Bette: (smiling, while she puts the drill down) “Oh, baby…you can come and play with my toys any time you want. Better yet, how about you play with my toys first and come later?” (wiggling her eyebrows again suggestively)

Jodi: (talking through Tom) “Bette, I thought you had an Ivy League education…you graduated from Yale, for fuck’s sake…how hard is it for you to learn some sign language so you could understand what I was saying to you earlier? Even Nadia learned it quicker than you, at least we didn’t have any problems communicating when we fucked each other.”

Bette: “Could I be a little slow because of all this weed I’ve been smoking with you lately? And here I was thinking that it doesn’t have any effect on human brain. How could it have any effect on mine? I’m perfect.”

Jodi: “Apparently, it’s having a huge effect on your brain because I just said I fucked Nadia and you didn’t say anything. I thought you hate it when I date and fuck other women.”

Bette: “I heard you…you fucked Nadia, so what? I fucked Nadia too…who hasn’t? Why, do you want to compare notes?”

Jodi: “No, I just want you to care if I’m fucking somebody else…do you care? Do you?”

Bette: “Nah…monogamy is so overrated…let’s have an orgy, we can invite all our mutual friends, Nadia, Phyllis…Tom, are you interested?”

Tom: “Will there be any cute guys?”

Bette: “I’m sure we can find you some…oh, how about Leonard?”

Tom and Jodi: (together) “Leonard Kroll?”

Bette: “Why not? He’s single now, he’s handsome for an older man…Phyllis mentioned that he was a good lover.”

Tom: (scratching his head): “He is cute all right but he’s straight and still trying to get Phyllis back.”

Bette: “I’ll take care of that…just come to the orgy. I guarantee you won’t be disappointed.”

Tom: (excitedly) “When is it?”

Bette: (looking at Jodi, smiling): “When do you have time, honey? Is tonight too soon?”

Jodi: (angry) “I thought tonight was your night with Angelica. I don’t like the kid but she’s your daughter so I have to be nice to her.”

Bette: “I know you don’t like kids, honey. I don’t care as long as we have hot, mind-blowing, earth-shattering sex…when are we going to have it? Let’s have it tonight, please…”