|
Title: What Makes It Real....Chapter 1
Author: tenderwolfe [ Send a Private Message ]
Copyright: April 2004
Content Rating: R
Disclaimer: All characters are the property of Ilene Chaiken, Showtime, and anyone else who can legally lay claim to them.
Author's Note: All feedback will be warmly received at wolfetwo@aol.com
Summary: We pick up Shane just where the show left her -- sitting in her truck staring at the remnants of what might have been...
Total Views: 1706 times.
|
|
What Makes It Real....Chapter 1 by tenderwolfe
|
Page 1
|
|
WHAT MAKES IT REAL
Chapter One
Shane continued to stare at her name half ripped off the window of what WAS to be her new salon. She'd never been too keen on symbolism but this time she was being beaten over the head with it -- Heart ripped in half; Dreams ripped in half; Life ripped in half.
"Ah, cut the shit man," she thought, "You've been through worse." Then she stopped to think.....or rather to feel. And realized she had NEVER felt any worse than she did right now. She could spend a lifetime trying to convince herself otherwise, but no amount of macho bullshit pep talks were going to make any difference -- not this time.
She took out another pack of cigarettes from the glove compartment. Shane wondered briefly how many other bad habits might insinuate their way back into her life now. And she knew she couldn't care less.
Christ!!! She wanted to punch herself in the gut and stop this fucking pain! Which, okay, didn't make a lot of sense. But whenever Shane thought about Cherie, which was pretty constantly, the air seemed to get sucked out of her lungs. And she figured if she could just whack herself hard enough maybe the physical pain would somehow ease the incredible searing agony inside that was almost forcing her to double over now.
How the hell could she have let this happen to her? she thought angrily. Shane only wished she could have seen it coming. She always imagined there would be plenty of warning before falling this hard -- plenty of time to 'get out of Dodge' before things got this messy. But the reality was that Shane had been totally blindsided by her feelings for Cherie.
One day she seemed to have a total handle on what was going on. They both accepted their affair for what it was. And she couldn't even tell you exactly when it had all changed. But somewhere, somehow...Shane had lost her heart completely to this woman. She'd always heard there was no sense to love, no logic to attraction. And my God, could any two people be more mismatched? But there it was -- Shane was truly, deeply in love.
And Cherie loved her too, Shane was sure of it. Those horrible words she said to Shane before, at the museum? At the time, Shane couldn't figure out how Cherie could bring herself to say such awful things to her. But now she believed she understood.
The first thing Cherie had said when Shane entered that room was, "You heard him, he'll kill you."
Cherie was worried about her, Shane realized now; she wanted to keep Shane safe from her husband. She knew the only way to do that was to ensure that Shane stayed far away from her. So Cherie had to lay on the hurt to make Shane hate her.
As if she ever could. Thinking about it now only made Shane ache for her even more.
She wrapped her arms around herself and lowered her head. Her body started rocking back and forth, like a child trying to comfort herself when there's no parent around to hold you. A familiar feeling.
Did she have any coke in this jacket? She started searching her pockets. But all she came up with was her cell phone. She stared at it for a minute. Then she found herself calling Alice.
"Al, sorry to wake you."
|
|
|
|
