Chapter 1

“Sometimes I wonder if it was just the natural process the way we ended.  I mean who in their right mind goes back for more when the only thing that is in front of you is pain.” Bette says to Rachael. 

“But now you are going back for more.  Does that mean you are not in your right mind?” Rachael asks more teasing than serious.

Bette just gives Rachael a look of exasperation.  She didn’t really want to go into all the reasons why after eight years of separation her and Tina were finally talking about their relationship.  They had worked out a relationship of sorts for Angelica’s sake over the years. 

It had taken Tina almost a year to come to terms with Bette’s kidnapping of Angelica that night in Canada.  Tina couldn’t get past the feeling of betrayal.  Once again Bette had gotten close enough to be able to inflict the worst of pain. 

This pain is beyond physical it is a betrayal of the heart.  This kind of pain is so intense it crushes all hope.  Tina lived in the darkness of this pain for five days until Bette herself relieved the pain with a simple phone call.

“I’m sorry.”

While relief flooded into the darkness nothing but a few rays of light entered the dark hole in Tina’s heart.  The simple ‘I’m sorry’ was not enough to dull the ache.  It would take years and the kindness of time for the light to fully enter that area.

“Well all I know is that lately you’ve been a little kinder to be around and for that I’m grateful.”  Rachael teases Bette.  “You’re much easier to take this way.”

Rachael and Bette had met in a drawing class.  Bette had taken the class to escape the quiet evenings at home alone.  One of the advantages to working at the university were the free classes.  Meeting in the class, Rachael and Bette hit it off immediately.  They pushed each other as they drew.  It was enjoyable to meet, draw and talk about events of the day as they sketched.  They enjoyed the time so much that they continued their sessions when the class was over.  It became a weekly date that only Angelica could get Bette to cancel.

“So whatever the reason, you’ve either have lost your mind or the Easter bunny has finally paid you a visit I don’t care just keep it up.” Rachael says while she starts to roll her sketches up and put them back in the tube she uses to carry them in.

Bette only smiles.  She knows that life has been a lot brighter lately and it’s true that Tina making the first overture had a lot to do with it.  “I’m not saying it’s a done deal.  I hope you don’t walk away with that feeling but it certainly is a good place to be talking instead of ignoring each other.” Bette admits as Rachael finishes packing up and moves to the door.  The fact that Tina had called to talk still astounded Bette.  She had listened for a change instead of quickly becoming defensive.  Tina had suggested that they meet for coffee and Bette had agreed.  It was during this meeting that they both began to exchange their feelings, good and bad.  With a certain level of maturity about them they both had agreed that there were too many good things between them to not forge a friendship and possibly more.

“Well I just hope you’re in this good of a mood next week.  Just don’t get your hopes too high OK?  I mean enjoy this moment.” Rachael says just before she turns to leave.  “Bye give me a call if you need to talk.”

Bette waves good bye to Rachael’s back pausing to rethink their words before she turns to pack up her own sketches.

Angelica sits on the front step waiting.  She couldn’t wait for her Mom B to get here today.  Every other weekend she went to Mom B’s for the weekend and today she had a big surprise to tell her.  She could hardly contain herself to sit here and wait, both her feet doing a dance on the step of their own volition.  Just when Angelica didn’t think she could wait another minute she sees her Mom B’s car pulling up to the curb.  Springing to her feet, Angelica runs down the drive stopping a few steps short of the street.

“Mommy … Mommy you’ll never guess.  You’ll never guess what came today.”

Bette could hear Angelica yelling Mommy before she even had her door open.  Her heart jumped with joy to see her daughter so excited.  “Angel what’s going on?”

“Mommy it came …. I got in … I got in!” Angelica shouts jumping up and down.

“Oh my goodness Baby that’s wonderful!” Bette says moving up to Angelica and bending down on one knee.  Bette knew immediately what Angelica was talking about.  Together the two of them had filled out an application for an Art Camp.  It was something Bette had seen and thought it might be something Angelica might enjoy.  She had let Tina know about it ultimately getting Tina’s permission before giving Angelica any information.  Tina had reluctantly agreed so Bette had moved forward.

Angelica throws herself at Bette as soon as Bette is at her level.  Bette embraces her whispering “I knew you’d get in.” while hugging her tight.  But Angelica has too much energy to stay in any one place too long.  Squirming out of Bette’s embrace she resumes jumping up and down while telling Bette how excited she is.

Angelica had seen Bette’s sketches on one of her weekend visits.  Bette had taken the time to explain to Angelica what she was trying to do with the sketch.  Bette had gone as far as taking out her pencils and demonstrating to Angelica on the spot.  While Angelica at her age didn’t grasp a lot of what Bette was telling her she was fascinated by Bette’s sketches and her ability to create.  This in turn excited Bette who began to introduce different mediums to Angelica.  It became their thing to explore the different opportunities in art with each of Angelica’s visits.  Taking great joy in the time shared between mother and daughter it became a great bond between them.  They laughed and giggled, made messes and actually produces some beautiful pieces.  Through it all they learned more about each other.  It enabled them to speak their own language and express their own thoughts.

“So what did your Mommy T think?” Bette asks.  It was only after this question that Angelica seems less excited.  It was as if the wind suddenly left her sail.  She stopped jumping around instead standing looking at her toe that suddenly was trying to dig a hole in the concrete sidewalk. 

“Ahh …” Angelica starts and fades off.

“You haven’t told her have you?  You would rather it I did it right?” Bette asks knowing the answer already.

When Angelica looked up with those puppy dog eyes Bette knew she couldn’t say no.  “Kid you really do want to ruin any chance I have with your Mom, don’t you?”  Bette jokes while running her hands though the top of Angelica’s hair ruffling it up.

“Don’t ...” Angelica says hating it when Bette did that.