Carmen stops then, just for a moment.  Unconsciously giving everyone a break in the depth of the words that had unintentionally spoke of a love that not only Carmen shared with Shane, but the words hit places in the others too, for Alice and her lost love of Dana, and for Bette and Tina, standing side by side, close enough to feel their shoulders slightly brushing against one another, close enough to know that the words Carmen spoke were applicable to them, to the love they had and lost, but still held onto, held onto now with peace, acceptance and fond remembrance, and they stood with their own thoughts of what might have been.

Alice looked to Bette as the silence ensued, her voice breaking the silent thoughts they all shared, “I think that maybe I should help her, this isn’t going the way that she planned.” Bette puts her hand on Alice’s arm, stalling her words, indicating that she thinks Carmen isn’t quite finished yet.  She looks to Bette and its then that Carmen picks up again.

“Maybe there are some things in life that you’re not supposed to get over. Maybe they become so deeply ingrained in you that they become part of you. I think that you were that thing for me, and I tried to fight it Shane, so hard, but I couldn’t. Then we met again, while you were in your hospital bed and all I wanted to say was that everything was forgiven, if we could just love each other again, and now I’ll never get that chance. All I get to do now is say goodbye.”

She takes the top off the urn and turns it upside down over the side of the railings, allowing the dust of her love to float into the air. 

The three women stood, watching her actions in silence, with tears in their eyes.

Bette eyes become blurry as Carmen’s words hit her full force, the escape of the tears begin to fall as she felt the simple gesture of Tina’s hand slipping into her own, their fingers entwining for the first time in five long years, the feeling so familiar and yet so new, her heart lurched as she felt the squeeze of her hand, signifying that Tina was feeling it too, they would never lose their love, the love they had shared together would always be a part of their life.  Her thoughts were interrupted as she watched the grey dust floating out to sea, the significance of her thoughts, feelings and the words they heard on this day impacting on her life in more ways than she could possibly imagine.

“Can you see how she’s disappearing out to sea?” asks Carmen.

“It’s the slow fade of love.” Alice quietly says, loud enough to carry through the air as the final vestiges of Shane’s life disappeared into the sea air, the dust of her life disappearing, but the place she held in each of their hearts forever engrained as they all uttered their silent goodbyes.

Alice stepped forward, encircling her arm around Carmen’s shoulders, taking the urn from her hands she quietly and gently guided her back along the pier, leaving Bette and Tina, standing, looking out to sea with their own thoughts, their fingers still entwined.

Tina turned slightly noticing how Bette had a look of peace washing over her, she knew how hard this was, saying goodbye to Shane, it was harder for her than any of them, maybe apart from Carmen, but she was doing it, and she was also letting go of other things, she was putting their past behind her, she was ready to move on and she looked happy and ready to do so.

Bette turned feeling Tina’s look upon her, they gave each other a simple smile; it was an emotional moment as they prepared themselves to say goodbye, to finally let go.

Time seemed to stand still as their eyes met, there weren’t really any words necessary for how they were feeling, they both knew, Tina leaned forward, taking a slight breath as her lips met Bette’s for the first time in five years, a tender meeting of lips, with the same softness, the same feeling invading her as she pulled away from the brief moment.

Bette brought her arms around Tina, pulling her into a hug, feeling the closeness as her eyes closed tightly, her heart lurching as she knew this was goodbye, her arms felt full and she knew that in the next moment they would be empty and that would be the beginning of her future, she revelled in the feel of Tina in her arms, memorising the feeling that had been missing from her life for five very long years.

Tina stepped back, her eyes blurred by the tears of what she was about to do, to walk away from her first love, she brought her hand to Bette’s cheek, gently stroking the cool skin, her thumb wiping the stray tear as she searched the eyes in front of her, she took a deep breath, trying to salvage something inside of her in order to be able to move the feet that were currently rooted to the spot.

“I’ll always love you…” Tina quietly whispered as she turned and began the long walk away.

Bette’s mind filled with the words from her dream, she spoke as Tina turned, the whispered words came as Tina walked away, “come back to me… come home… I’ll never… stop loving you T…”

Her whispered words were carried along the pier in the breeze, the words gently sweeping around Tina as she slowly walked away, the small smile gracing her face as the tears slipped down her cheeks, a thought flashing in her mind, ‘if only she knew’.

Bette stood, watching the woman she loved walk away, her silent goodbye matched the silent tears as they began to flow, and they flowed for Tina, they flowed for Shane and Dana, and they flowed for her rekindled relationship with Alice, time suddenly stood still as she saw Tina turn in the distance, just looking back, one final time, she watched as Tina turned back and continued her walk, when she could no longer see her, she turned, standing alone on the edge of the pier, looking out to sea, letting go of it all.  Finally.

Tina felt the long drive back to the hotel, her heart feeling the indescribable combination of heavy and light at the same time.  The saying goodbye to Bette having gone better than she had anticipated, but maybe the circumstances of it being that they were saying goodbye to Shane, and hearing Carmen’s words had put so much into perspective for her, someone else’s words having a profound effect on her and her heart, and when she had turned and took the last look back, she knew then, in that singular moment, that this was the right thing to do.

As she pressed the button for the lift, a moment of clarity hit her, why had the thoughts not crossed her mind before now, before she was about to open the door to their room.   Ally had known, she had known this morning when they had woken, she had known when they had begun to pack, she had known when she had hugged Tina so tightly when she left this morning, and she had known last night, when they had made love last night it was like that, it wasn’t a laying claim, it was saying goodbye. 

Tina’s hand hovered on the door knob, about to open the door into, what she knew was to be, the empty room.  She scanned the surroundings seeing only her own suitcase at the foot of the bed and a note with a red rose lay on the pillow.

She took a deep breath as she stepped toward the bed, her heart pounding as she felt the lump rising in her throat; her eyes took in the familiar penmanship of the woman she had come to love. She swallowed as she sat by the window, ready to read the words Ally had written to her.

Dearest Tina,

First and foremost, I love you… and it’s for this reason I’m walking away from you.  I want you to be with Bette, the love the two of you share is something that I can only ever hope to experience in my life, it’s a once in a lifetime love and I want you to have that love in your life once again.  

Be happy together, the two of you have suffered so much pain in being apart that you deserve to live the rest of your lives happy and together.

She still loves you so much Tina, I saw the way she looked at you at the wake, I really do hope that someone will love me that much one day.

I have never had any doubts that you loved me, and I am forever grateful that I got to share in a part of your life.

Ally

Her eyes once again scanned the words that Ally had written, such a selfless act of letting her go, and she was right, Tina did love her, it wasn’t the same love that she had shared with Bette, it was different, but it was love all the same. 

Her thoughts turned to her conversation with Bette at the beach yesterday, would they be able to make it work again, had the deep love they shared survived the five years they had spent apart, could she go back, or would it be looking forward, starting again. 

Her thoughts turned once again and her fingertips traced over the words on the paper and then slowly they came, the tears… the tears for Ally, of what they had shared, of the decision that Ally had made because she loved her, it really was only a very unique person that would and could do that, and she had, she had walked away and it only made Tina love her more, Ally would always hold a special place within her and she also felt grateful to have shared a part of her life with such a special woman.

The tears also fell for Shane, saying goodbye to Shane had been so hard, but made so much more bearable by being able to hold the hand of her first love, her tears flowed for Carmen and the love she had lost and would never again share with Shane, and Alice, her dearest friend who had been throughout all of it with her, she smiled through her tears at what she could only imagine would be Alice’s reaction when she got the know that the course of events had dramatically changed.

Finally, her tears flowed for Bette, for the life they had shared, for the pain they shared, and the acceptance they had both come to in letting it all go, holding it all dearly and very close to their hearts, but they had to let it go, it wasn’t about forgetting what they had, it was about remembering, remembering with a smile and not heartache, but now… she had a future, and it was that thought that made her get up with a deep breath and take the steps in what she was about to do.

Bette remained at the beach until the biting wind forced her to walk back to her car and drive home.  She had stood and watched Tina walk away, the words she had uttered had floated away in the wind, and she knew that she wouldn’t say them again. 

She had sat and watched the waves, lapping against the rocks, smoothing the surface of the sand to retreat back into the abyss, she wondered how far Shane had travelled on the wings of the wind, she whispered as her silent tears fell, “travel far my friend, be safe and know that you will forever hold a place in my heart…”

She walked with a heavy heart up the steps to her house, her empty house, it hadn’t been a home in five years, it was a place to eat, sleep and spend time alone.  She opened the door and hung her coat over the back of the chair, her first thought being that the one thing she wanted to do was to sit by the pool with a glass of wine and watch the sky darken and the stars appear, she knew that tonight, when the stars appeared, there would be one more shining down on her.

She sat on the lounger, glancing over at the Shane’s house and she knew that after today, she would be shutting a door, her tears fell as she let the emotions go, the quiet tears for Shane as she had said goodbye at the beach, the tears as she watched Tina walk away, but as she looked to the sky, seeing the beginnings of the stars appearing she took her vow, this would be the last time she cried for Shane, the last time she cried for her lost love, she had done her grieving. 

Tomorrow was about looking forward, smiling as she saw something that reminded her of Shane, and smiling as she remembered her life with Tina.  Her mind gave a contradiction to her thoughts and she smiled, she smiled because she knew that although the pain had dissipated, the want remained, her want of Tina in her life would never go away, her want to share the rest of her life with the one and only woman she has ever and would ever love, that would never go away, but she had acceptance now, and her acceptance was that tomorrow her future began.

Tina parked the rental car outside the house she had shared with Bette, the home they shared for all of those years and the home she couldn’t step into only a few days before. 

She sat… just looking, seeing a lone solitary light inside, her heart was pounding harder than she had ever known, she opened the car door and slowly walked up the steps, her hand gently knocking at the door.

Her mouth became dry as no answer came, she turned to see Bette’s car parked in the driveway, instinctively knowing where she would be, she slowly made her way around to the back of the house, her eyes adjusting to the fading evening light, as she turned the corner she stopped… and watched…

Bette lay back with the wine glass in her hand, resting it on her stomach as she gazed at the waking stars in the sky, she absentmindedly wiped at the slow tears journeying over her cheeks, but she saw the faint smile cross her lips, she looked at peace.

Tina slowly stepped forward, her chest rising and falling with the intensity she felt in her chest at what she was about to do.

Bette turned, her instinct informing her that she wasn’t alone; she sat up as she saw Tina slowly walking toward her, their eyes silently met. 

A moment of panic struck Bette as Tina’s eyes welled, her concern for the woman she loved immediately kicking in, “are you okay…? Has something happened…? Did you miss your flight…? What’s going on… what’s happened T?”

Tina smiled at the barrage of typical questions of concern from Bette, she merely shook her head in reply as she now stood directly in front of her, she brought her hand to Bette’s cheek, gently stroking the softness of her skin, her quiet words loud enough for only Bette to hear.

“I’ve come home…”

Bette stood, with her lips suddenly parted, no sounds coming forth as the words sank in.

“Uh… what about Ally?” Bette whispered, the words catching in her throat.

“Can we talk about that tomorrow?”

Bette merely nodded, her mind suddenly full of… words, questions, emotions, nothingness… her ears had just heard the very thing she had waited five years to hear, her heart was pounding, her mouth became dry.

“Bette…” Tina whispered.

Bette swallowed the lump in her throat, trying to make sounds come her silent mouth, “… yeah?”

“Make me yours again…”

Bette’s nervousness set in, her panic at what she had just heard Tina say, she closed her eyes and dropped her head, “T… um… I haven’t… done this… since you… left…”

Tina brought her finger to Bette’s chin, lifting it, allowing their eyes to meet, “You haven’t slept with anyone in 5 years?”

Bette shook her head, she’d never been able to bring herself to, if she couldn’t have the one who held her heart,  she didn’t want anyone, and that was they way it had been, any release that her body had needed she had done alone, alone and with the thoughts of her one and only.

“Then I think it’s about time that changed…”

Bette swallowed the lump in her throat, the way in which Tina looked at her, she knew that Tina would be the one who was laying down the possessional boundaries – she would be making Bette hers again.

Tina stood and held her hand out to Bette, with their fingers entwined, Tina silently lead the way, the path she had walked 5 years ago, the path that seemed like only yesterday, she turned looking into Bette’s questioning  eyes as they neared the bedroom.

Her quiet words calming the thundering in Bette’s chest, “For keeps Bette, first last and forever…”

The bedroom door quietly closed behind them, allowing the meeting of two lost souls…, found once again, as the newest star in the sky sparkled overhead.

The "other" End.