So, in my short life I’ve acted on a few crazy ideas but I usually level that out with being pretty responsible. But I have to tell you ever since I started to put my plan into motion I’m starting to think that I may have taken this too far. See initially I was just going to write a letter a couple of months ago to the woman who my aunt Sandy describes as "mom’s long lost love," except for the part where she’s lost apparently they all know where she is and after some digging around so do I (you can find almost anything on the internet). But I’ll explain all that some other time, anyway my uncle Bryce and aunt Sandy caught me writing the letter and somehow they thought that I was writing a letter to a girl I liked their advice was to talk to the girl in person, so after some serious planning I decided to go to L.A. and plead the case in person. So how does a kid my age manage a trip across the country without raising any red flags (I may be doing this for my mom but that doesn’t mean I want to scare her to death thus ending my life), it took a lot of planning and a lot more patience. But here I am, it’s 10am on a Saturday, and I’m standing in front of her house with my backpack (with everything you need to navigate/explore a city), a picture of this woman holding my mom in her arms, a gift I bought her in New York (my best friend Sara helped me pick it out), and dressed in my Sunday’s best (which caught a lot of people’s attention on the city bus). I’m sort of nervous but my aunt Grace always says "never let them see you sweat," so here I go. I press her door bell once but there’s no answer, I press it again but still no answer (her car is in the driveway so I know she’s here), I go back to the door and alternate between ringing the doorbell and knocking on the door (I know its not the most polite way to get someone to open the door or the best conditions to meet her for the first time but my window of time is shrinking and if I want to keep to my schedule I have to get her to open the door).

That’s when I hear her, "Alice what the fuc…," I guess she was expecting someone else (not that she was expecting me) because as soon as she realized her mistake and saw my shocked expression she started to apologize.

"I am so sorry I thought you were someone else, a friend of mine who acts about your age but obviously you’re not…um are you lost…are you looking for a kids party."

I look down at her gift and although I know she’s the woman in the picture with my mom I ask anyway. "Are you Elizabeth Porter."

She looks a little confused as to how I know her name but answers nonetheless. "Yes I am…do I know you?" She still looked a little confused and poked her head outside looking around to see if anyone else was with me.

And although this was a pretty delicate situation I decided to cut to the chase. "Hi, Ms. Porter my name is Eli Kennard can we go inside and talk?" To be honest I expected her to be a little surprised, but she looked like she was going to pass out. But after a couple of seconds her expression changed completely, her eyes looked softer and her entire demeanor became much more open. The way she was looking at me kind of reminded me of how mom looks at me (the look that tells me she’d do anything for me because she loves me), but for some reason this woman who thought I was lost just moments ago was now giving me that "mom look." After about a minute of just looking at each other she must have realized that we were both still outside.

"Where are my manners, I’m sorry for staring Eli, please come in" at this point she guided me inside her house. I should be nervous about going into a strangers house, but the way she was looking at me, the soft tone of her voice, and the way she had her hand on my shoulder reminded me so much of mom, that it made me relax. We walked over to the couch and sat down. She started staring again but this time she had this huge smile like in the picture. Then she got up.

"Eli do you want something to drink, or something to eat, did you eat breakfast yet…I’m going to get you something, I’ll be right back." She rushed into the kitchen before I could answer, and I heard a lot of cabinets open and close. I started to look around the house, at first glance there is a lot of artwork all over, there were a lot of books and pictures, I didn’t see a t.v. but there was a pretty cool looking radio. The place didn’t look very kid friendly but as I look out the window towards the back yard I see a big pool. That’s when she came back.

"Well Eli you have your choice between orange juice, cranberry juice, and water. I made some toast and cut up some fruit in case you were hungry. I’d try to cook you something more substantial but I don’t think your mom would appreciate it if I gave you food poisoning." I shot here a look that mom gives me when she’s not sure if I’m kidding or not. She must of recognized it because she laughed. "I don’t know how I missed it but Eli you are most definitely Tina Kennards son," that just makes me smile because I’m proud to be her son. She’s still smiling but she also has that sad far-away look that mom gets sometimes, that’s when I remember the gift.

"Ms. Porter…" "Call me Bette." And she catches the look that I gave her, because the only time I use an adults first name there’s usually an aunt or an uncle in front of it. But she gives me a reassuring smile and a little head nod. "Bette (and as I said her name it didn’t feel right, a little awkward, like if I called mom Tina) this is for you." And I hand the gift to her. She looked at me for awhile then looked down at the gift. She unwrapped the present and then opened the box. I wasn’t sure what to do next because her eyes started to tear up.

When I bought her gift Sara told me jewelry was always a safe bet, but I didn’t know what she would like, then I figured if she was with mom for so long then they had to have similar tastes, so I bought something I thought mom would like. It was a simple gold necklace that I found in an Indian jewelry store where I bought mom’s birthday gift a couple of months back (lucky for me I save all my money), actually it’s the companion necklace to the one I bought for my mom. Right when I think she’s going to lose it, she looks up at me with a look of total adoration and her arms are wrapped tight around my neck in one of the biggest hugs I’ve had in a long time. I can’t help but get caught up in the emotions that I’m feeling from her, and we continue to hug for a while longer. She then pulled back from the hug but leaves one of her arms around my shoulder.

"Eli this is the best present anyone has given me, thank you so much…you don’t know how much this means to me." She still wiping away some tears, but she’s smiling that big smile again, and her eyes seem happy and loving once again. Oddly enough that makes me happy, because I’m the one that put that look in her eyes.

"Your welcome, I’m just happy that you like it. It’s a lot like the one I got for mom." She smiled and then looked down at the necklace, tracing it with her finder, "really," and I just nod in response. I glance down at my watch and notice that it’s later than I though and if I expect to catch the bus that takes me back to the hotel then I have to move this along.

"Ms. Por…Bette do you still love my mom?" and I see that my question caught her by surprise but she doesn’t hesitate too long before saying "I never stopped loving your mom." And there’s that look again loving mixed with sadness.

Now I don’t know the complete backstory on their relationship: why it ended or why mom moved to New York away from the woman who she claimed was her soulmate (actually I overheard the soulmate part when mom was talking with aunt Grace after one of her therapy sessions a couple of years ago), but if she couldn’t be with Bette Porter anymore than why incorporate "Porter" into my name serving as a constant reminder of the woman she was no longer with. I asked mom about it all the years ago and she had the same look that Bette Porter is giving me now.

Her answer sounds very promising, if there’s any hope in getting them back together than I’m going to need full cooperation from everyone involved. Right now I only have Sara on board (playing a pivotal role in keeping her parents distracted so they don’t notice that I’m not with Sara at whatever planned outing), hopefully I’ll also have all my aunts and uncles in New York who I’ll talk to later tonight, and most importantly I need the infamous Bette Porter to get my mom to drop her guard and fall in love all over again (but convincing her is going to take a little time, if I spring my plan on her right now she’ll probably freak a little and call mom, but I’m pretty sure she doesn’t have any of mom’s contact information, which doesn’t help the situation.). Now my plan may be to get them back together, but I’m also here to make sure Ms. Porter really loves mom because I won’t let her hurt mom again. So I have to ask some more questions to be sure.

"If you were given the chance to be with mom again would you take it?" She looks down at a necklace she has on and touches it through her shirt, then looked back up at me, "in a heartbeat" and she said it with sincerity in her eyes that I couldn’t help but believe her "but Eli I hurt your mom so bad that I don’t think I could ever make it right between us again…but if given the chance I would spend the rest of my life showing her how much I love her and would make her as happy and loved as she made me feel all the years ago." Now I know that I should be suspicious and try to pick a part what she just told me but I can’t help but believe everything that just came out of her mouth. It could have been the way she said it, with such sincerity and conviction but her eyes are what convinced me of the sincerity of her words.

"Ms. Porter I’m going to be here for the rest of the week on vacation with my best friend and her family, do you think that we could possibly meet again tomorrow and maybe talk some more that is if you’re not too busy?"

She smiled at me but then she gave me a serious look as if something just occurred to her, "Your mom doesn’t know you’re here does she?" Uh oh, I was hoping that she would still be in shock and wouldn’t come to that conclusion until after I gave her my cell phone number, gotten her to agree to meet with me tomorrow, and was well on my way back to the hotel. I was hoping I wouldn’t have to explain this until tomorrow. "Well not exactly, see she knows I’m in California, so in a way she know where I am." I see that this answer isn’t going to cut in because although her look isn’t as serious and has a sort of amused undertone, she seem to be waiting for an answer. She’s caught me sooner than I’ve hoped so I have to face the music, "No ma'am she doesn’t know that I came here to see you, but I swear to you that my intentions for coming to see you today, I believe was in the best interest of my mom. And if you don’t mind me saying I can clearly see that you love my mom just as much as I love her and if you truly wanted her to feel as happy and loved as you just professed then you’ll hear me out tomorrow at lunch at the downstairs restaurant of my hotel." At this point I hand her my contact information as well as the hotel’s address, and I cross my fingers that she doesn’t press me for more of an explanation.

She takes the paper and stares at me a bit longer before saying, "You know in all my life your mom is that only person who got me to readily agree to do anything without further question and left me feeling happy to oblige the request," at this point she starts to smirk and winks at me and says, "I guess she must have passed that down to you…we’ll do this your way, for now." I let out that breath of air I apparently was holding in, and give her a big smile.