"I don't want her back. I wouldn't take Tina back under any circumstances that I can imagine. That ship sank to the bottom of the ocean when she fucked him in my house, with my daughter in the next room, however it makes me fucking ecstatic to know that racist pig isn't anywhere near Angelica anymore." Brooding anger filled the expressive dark eyes as her strong hands gripped the edge of the table, her knuckles whitening. Alice and Helena glanced at each other. If someone didn't intervene soon Bette would be lost for the evening.
"Soooo Helena," Alice improvised, "how's poverty suiting you or is that not a new two thousand dollar suit I see before me?"
Helena winked. "Mummy may have cut me off but her idea of me living in poverty didn't extend to freezing my assets."
"Odd that," muttered Bette absently. "Peggy usually pays a great deal of attention to detail."
Helena suddenly looked less confident. Bette was right - Peggy Peabody didn't forget things or omit instructions despite her scatty billionairess routine.
"Has she said anything?"
"She wouldn't discuss you with me." Bette's dark expression hadn't changed though her tone said 'don't you know your own mother even that well'. Helena made a mental note to talk to her lawyer in the morning and scowled at Bette whose face was still fixed in a preoccupied daze.
Kit and Alice exchanged nervous glances. The atmosphere at the table was spiralling downwards again and Kit had better places to be. Ignoring Alice's imploring face, clearly pleading not to be left alone with an ever more morose Bette and an aggressively anxious Helena, Kit excused herself: "Listen girls I have to go mix, see you later and enjoy yourselves." Alice shook her fist after the departing Diva.
"Thanks a lot Kit, just leave me with Mopey and Dopey and where the hell are Shane and Jenny when you need them?" she said aloud.
"What are you talking about Alice?" snapped Helena torn from an unpleasant daydream involving nylon aprons and Chicky Chucky Nuggets. Bette didn't even look up.
"I'm talking about the fun we are not having," said Alice. She suddenly grasped the nearest hand from each of her companions. They both jumped but Alice held on tightly. "Lets just leave the misery at home where you know I can be miserable all alone. I mean hey I do miserable as well as the next person but just for tonight lets not. I propose that we drink to Bette's new job, Helena's new suit, my recently renewed singleness and to never having to go to another lezzie wedding as long as we live."
Alice raised her martini and waited. Helena was the first to crack.
"You're right Alice. I'm sorry." She lifted her glass in reply to the toast. "Come on Bette. Drink with us."
Bette stared at her, still obviously distracted. Slowly she came back to them and lifted her glass with her free hand.
"Okay. Alice, Helena, here's to our new lives and to hell with the past."
"To hell with the past," echoed Alice.
Three drinks sank quickly towards oblivion and they put their glasses back on the table. Bette stood, gestured at the empty glasses and the bar which was nearly clear. Alice and Helena nodded and Bette swept off to the bar to restock with martinis. Bette's drinking buddies were amused to note a sudden flocking of nearly every unattached lesbian in The Planet who considered themselves even remotely eligible. The previously empty bar area was soon adorned with women trying to arrange themselves in suitably engaging poses to catch the eye of the newly available Bette Porter. The woman herself looked rather irritated at having to negotiate her way through a bevy of women introducing themselves. The noise in the club had increased in volume and Helena leaned over to say in Alice's ear, "Do you think Bette could do with a hand?" as the soon-to-be Dean of a prestigious art school was temporarily submerged in a pool of gay ladies.
"Nah. It's good for her to remember how she totally ruled the skool."
"She doesn't look too pleased," said Helena doubtfully watching Bette swimming back to their table through her shoals of admirers.
"Jesus! What is wrong with all these people?" Bette huffed as she set down three new vodka martinis.
"My you are rusty Porter," Alice mocked. "Was the time when you would have collected a dozen phone numbers in that crowd most of them on underwear."
"Alice I'm not twenty-five any more. I'm more than happy to leave the field open to you and Shane."
"Are you trying to tell me that not one of those women registered even slightly on the Porter meter of hotness."
"Give it up Alice."
"No. I want to know who you think is the hottest woman here."
Bette looked away and deliberately picked up her drink.
"Aw come on. Helena, you go first."
"You mean apart from you Alice?"
"Funny. Yes apart from me. Who, in your opinion, is the hottest woman in the Planet?"
"Bette."
"Come on Helena don't be such a pussy, give me an answer."
"I have. Bette is the hottest woman here," Helena stated firmly. Alice's mouth dropped open and Bette swivelled her head to stare at the Brit. Helena laughed at the two horror-struck faces. "I didn't say I wanted to shag her. Just that on an objective assessment, Bette is the most beautiful woman in the room."
"That was unexpected," Alice said, swigging from her drink. Helena threw her arm around Alice's shoulders and hugged her enthusiastically if sloppily.
"Ali, you did exclude yourself darling. You know I love you. You're my friend. My bestest friend. I think your my bestest friend ever."
Bette smirked. "Do I detect a little inebriation Helena dear?"
"Maybe. But I'm not too drunk to know that you are criminally and annoyingly gorgeous. You know who first told me you were gorgeous? My mother, your biggest fan. Gee Bette if she were twenty years younger she'd go gay for you. She told me that herself after you first met. 'Why can't you bring home a woman like that darling, beautiful, passionate and successful, instead of a parade of dishearteningly inadequate strays.'" Helena's imitation of her mother was pitch perfect.
"Bette has that effect on mothers," Alice agreed. "Lenore couldn't get over her.
