Title: Get Thee to a Nunnery... Chapter 4
Author: TMerlin [ Send a Private Message ]
Copyright: Mine, and some belongs to Showtime.
Content Rating: PG-13
Author's Note: Hello readers. Ok, I'm not sure about this, but this is what was in my little head. If it doesn't work, don't worry, I think it'll die a swift dead soon. I hope it gives you all a bit of a chuckle in any case. I'm trying...it's been rough. Thank you all for giving this story a chance. Thanks so much for sticking with it and for all your comments and support. It's great to see that some of you got a good laugh out of it. That makes me very happy. Don't know about this next chapter, but hey, I tried! Thank you to those of you who PM as well. And thanks to Sklkorty, whose idea I think is still incorporated here and who manages to offer insightful words when needed...much appreciated.
simplycomplex - you've disappeared. I hope you come back at some point. Thank you for your comments. If you get to read this….hope you enjoy. All the best to you, wherever you are.
skslkorty - howdy skslkorty! This is the only thing I could pull out of my hat right now…hope it makes you laugh. Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the support.
BetteAndTinaForever - hey B&TF. Ah, don't worry about the accent….I never seem to hear it when I read your enjoyable stories.
funnyone - hey funnyone. That head wound is coming along just fine! Hope this next little chapter makes sense and gives you a little bit of a chuckle. Thanks for reading and commenting.
stickeye - glad to hear it, thanks. Hope this brings on a little laughter too.
DoubleL - hello DoubleL. Thanks. Hope you like this one too.
pattifloatn - hello there pattifloatn- here you go….another chapter in this tale. I hope you enjoy this one too. Thanks for the comment. Yeah…somebody should write a story about the fanfic authors conducting a covert operation to save the LWord…I won't mention from whom or what…but alas….thanks for following this and commenting.
Atg11 - thanks Atg11. I hope you like this little chapter too. Thanks for reading and commenting.
allyemmerson - you're most welcome Ms. allyemmerson. That WAS your name, and sorry…ran out of the hallucinogenic sustenance long ago…Thanks for commenting. I've been enjoying your stories when I've had a chance to pop in.
bettyvhall - oh…so EVEN my autograph will do huh? Ok…ok….fine. (Hee hee.) Thanks bettyvhall, for hanging in there with this crazy little story and for commenting.
Seahurst - now this one might not be quite as funny as the last one, but we'll see…maybe I can finally end it next chapter. I can't believe you liked it so much, but I'm really glad to see it had you laughing. I hope this one satisfies as comic relief too. Well, "senior woman", thank you so much for continuing to read and comment.
Mad Maggot - crazy Maggot…my dealer ain't around to get more bottles/packs to share…but I'll let you know! (kidding!) I hope this one makes you laugh a little too. Thanks for the comment and your support.
B - well…the mayhem continues…I really should get the head checked out! Hope you like this one too.
missyang - glad you liked it…they're back…hopefully still entertaining you.
susannah - thanks for your comment…I finally got the bus rolling again, but don't know if it's riding along too smoothly at this point. I hope this gives you some continued laughter. Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment.
ut - thanks…glad you found it that funny and hope you find this next one a good chuckle at least.
Summary: Awakenings...of odd sort.
Total Views: 2474 times.
Get Thee to a Nunnery... Chapter 4 by TMerlin
The sisters on the bus went up and down, up and down…and the lesbians chuckled and chatted with their new friends, while Bette and company sat nervously while being comforted by the nuns…until Sister Bertha remembered she was promised a captive audience by Mother Burnaby…
"Granddaddy Graham Longhorn Savurandaminimee was a fine man," begins Sister Bertha.
"Oh Lordie," mutters Sister Esmerelda as Sister Agatha frowns at her. "I mean…oh frigididee…" states the exasperated Sister Esmerelda.
"A strapping man, endowed with such a splendid physical form…" explains Sister Bertha. B&TF leans in to AmandaMG, "I don't think I want to hear this…" "Shhh, just pretend and think of something else…" replies AmandaMG.
Alice turns to Bette, whispering…"I'm gonna break out laughing… I swear if she starts telling us how Grandaddy Longhorn Savur…whatever his name is, met Grandmammy and gave her one too many tours of the plantation barn, I'm jumping off the bus…"
Sister Bertha continues, "I mean he was no wimp Grandaddy, he was athletic and toned and had a stomach you could…"
"SISTER BERTHA…" quips Sister Burnaby, "perhaps you could tell us a little about your grandmother. I don't think we heard that story."
Sister Bertha obliges, "Oh Grandma Lerdarama was something. I mean she had a beautiful mane of hair," Sister Bertha smiles shyly… "and AMPLE bossom…they say Grandaddy was particularly enthralled by…"
"SISTER BERTHA…" interjects Sister Burnaby… "did they have many children?"
"Oh yes…you'd think they were rabbits."
"Oh my," Sister Lowitious intervenes, "Sister, Sister Bertha…"
"Oh pardon me Sister Lowitious," says Bertha in a conscientious tone, "let me just get this all out before I forget and leave Mother Burnaby just hanging there…"
"I knew we should've taken the train," quips Chasemenow. "I don't know…I think is more fun…" answers Seahurst, with Mad Maggot nodding.
Sister Bertha continues excitedly, "They had seven children."
"Seven?" asks Sister Agatha.
"Seven Sister," answers Sister Bertha. She continues, "There was Johnny Patrick, Hellry Samson, Alice Margarita, Mary Alice, Harry Brian Adam, George Ryan, Adam Charlie, Martha Brigit…"
"Wait, that's eight!" exclaims Sister Illuminata.
"Oh yes," replies Sister Bertha, "well…Martha Brigit…she was the bastard child of Grandmammy and Lester Hampton Porter Elijah Bordereauxs."
Alice turns to Bette, "Ancestor of yours maybe?" Bette frowns. Kit jumps in, "This sis is a live one." Angelica turns to Bette, "Mamma we have relatives in the south?" Shane gives Alice a dirty look just as Alice was about to offer her 2.5 cents but then changes direction and just shakes her head.
Bertha continues the tale, "But Grandaddy was a proud man and he took care of little Martha Brigit like she was his own…he wondered from time to time about the origin of the red hair, and in his heart of hearts he always knew something was amiss, but Gradmammy never told anyone and no one ever brought it up. Except for Cornelius Longhorn Amadeus Savurandaminimee the Third."
Alice calls out to the fine storyteller, "Uh…Cornelius Longhorn Amadeus Savurandaminimee the Third???" Alice looks at Kit, "She's got to be kidding…"
"That's right, the Third…in a long line of peanut farmers. You see, Grandaddy had two brothers. Longhorn Graham Evelyn Roger Savurandaminimee and Graham Longhorn Amadeus the Second…The Third was his son."
Sister Illuminata turns to Sister Maradoona, "Maybe we should start saying the rosary…" "It's not time yet Sister," replies Maradoona. "Got any better ideas?" asks Sister Illuminata.
Sister Bertha continues undaunted, "So the Second's son was the Third..they added the Cornelius because Grandmammy had a gentleman caller friend name Cornelius Cicero Barney Smith and, well, he was her favourite 'friend'…when, as Godmother to the Third she offered the name as an idea, no one thought anything of it."
"Exactly how many of these gentlemen 'friends' did your Grandmammy have Sister?" asks a curious Kit.
Sister Bertha starts to answer, "Well, it's a little complicated but…oh wait, before I totally forget, let me get back to the story of Grandaddy Longhorn…"
"Goodness forbid we lose track of THAT!" quips Sister Esmerelda to Sister Feckla who then thinks of something to intervene..."You know Sister Bertha, I wonder whether we should hold off for now…it's getting really interesting and I see we're approaching the hospital…we don't want to cut the story off just as it's getting really interesting," exclaims Sister Feckla.
Alice turns to Bette, "We're taking a cab when we're done at the hospital."
Sister Illuminata turns to Sister Burnaby and whispers, "Do you think we could leave Sister Bertha with the hospital ministry for a while…they might need her." Sister Burnaby frowns. Sister Bertha looks at Sister Feckla for a few seconds and then sighs, "Oh and I was just getting to the good part Sister, but ok, maybe you're right." "Oh thank the Good Lord," sighs Sister Esmerelda, with Sister Agatha making the sign of the cross and nodding.
Five minutes later the bus rolls into the hospital grounds. The nuns and their Saphic friends exit the bus and walk speedily to the hospital.