She hung her head in her hand.

“Bette, please, I want to touch you, and I know I can’t right now. Do you really want to talk further about Tina at the moment?”

“No, I don’t,” she answered very plainly.

“I didn’t think so,” I said. “What else do want to know?”

“What about the refusal of a grant from the Peabody Foundation for the CAC?” she asked.

“Bette, I had nothing to do with the fact that the Foundation had decided unanimously to appropriate funds in a different direction,” I explained. “Although, I will admit to you that my heart was in favor of Social Justice appropriations.”

“So it wasn’t a personal vendetta?” Bette asked.

“Never. My seeming indifference to you, and to your impassioned plea for funding, when we first met eye-to-eye in my office in New York, was due to the fact that I didn’t want you to sway me. Not because I felt snubbed so many months earlier at MONA. I didn’t want you to know, or to get the sense, that I was attracted to you. If you knew that, you may have been able to use that knowledge to your advantage. I may have done anything to have you. And I did have a Board of Directors to answer to. My coolness toward you was a device to help me maintain my scruples. I did have some, you understand?” I attempted to elucidate.

“And now?” Bette asked, looking me straight in the eye and questioning me.

I wasn’t sure from where the frustration inside of me was welling.

“And now, for Bloody Christ’s sake, I have even more,” I said, becoming agitated. I wanted to scream! “Nobody wants to believe who I am, what I am. Except Alice!”

I stood up and walked away from Bette to the windows.

“Helena, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you,” Bette called out to me.

My volume became distinctly amplified. “Fuck, Bette! What do I have to do to be seen as a credible human being?”

*****************

I felt helpless sitting and watching Helena pace back and forth in front of the windows periodically looking out into the darkness. It was obvious to me that she was experiencing emotional turmoil. And I felt responsible for causing it.

“Helena, do you want me to leave?” I asked softly.

She stopped pacing and turned to look at me. I could see that her eyes were misted over.

“No!” she finally choked out.

I got up and walked towards Helena. We stood toe-to-toe, face-to-face. I reached up, pulled the wet hair from her face, and stroked her cheek gently. When I looked into her eyes, I saw that same imploring look I’d seen now for the third time this weekend.

“Helena, please, forgive me. I didn’t mean to hurt you or to question your genuineness,” I said.

“It’s so exasperating to constantly have to defend your motivations. And having money, and growing up privileged, doesn’t always ease our roads. Sometimes it makes them more difficult to contend with,” Helena replied.

I caressed her cheeks with both my hands. “I’m sure it’s quite burdensome at times. I’m sorry. I truly am,” I tried to reassure her.

“I forgive you,” Helena said.

I wrapped my hands around the sides of her face and kissed her softly. Pulling back just slightly, I breathed into her mouth, “Thank you.”

Hungrily, without warning, Helena grabbed my lips with hers and kissed me passionately. Her tongue was in my mouth, fighting with mine. My arms were clasped behind her head pulling her closer. Helena’s arms were wrapped around me, her hands running wildly up and down my back. I was becoming more excited every second. The throbbing between my legs began. And my heart started to pound.

Removing her arms from me, Helena pulled away from my mouth and stepped back. She stood looking me in the eyes, with both hands in front of her robe. I glanced down as she began to untie the loose knot around her gown. My heart pounded harder. She threw the ends of her sash to each side and, with both hands, slowly peeled back the silk cloth that had kept her concealed. Holding out her arms, she exposed me to her breathtaking beauty. I wanted to lick her from head to toe, and back again, making strategic stops along the way.

Helena slowly stepped towards me, never taking her eyes from mine. Her mouth reached to grab my lips as she clutched the lapels of my robe, and pulled me to her. I felt her tongue play with mine. Her hands wandered to the loose knot on my belt, stopping along the way to feel my breasts over the cloth. She kissed me long and hard, and we both moaned. I was wet, and wanted her to taste me. Her tongue in my mouth was divine. But her tongue between my legs would be pure bliss.

Successfully opening my belt, she swept both of her hands under the flaps of cloth and drew them back. Both of our fronts were naked, and Helena pressed herself into me. Swaying back and forth against me, our nipples brushing each other’s breasts, she took my hand and placed it between her legs.

“Feel how much I want you?” she asked.

I gently rubbed her swollen clit with her moisture. She moaned and rolled one of my nipples into her mouth, then the other, and sucked and blew against them.

“Fuck, Helena!” I whispered, writhing excitedly at the lapping of her tongue around my hardened nipples.

“Will you?” she murmured, looking up into my eyes.

“Will I what?” I asked softly.

“Make love with me. Go to bed with me, and stay the night,” Helena whispered.

As I continued to stroke her gently between her legs, I said, “I want my mouth, my tongue, and my hands to explore every inch of your body.”

Slowly, I removed my hand from the wet juncture of her legs.

“Please don’t stop, Bette, please,” Helena’s eyes were closed as she begged.

“I want my tongue there,” I said.