Tina

They are instantly still, completely hushed.  The music is loud and a hundred womens voices swarm and buzz but here, in front of this table, the silence is deafening.  Bette meets my eye for one more second and then she stands. 

I haven't seen so much as a glimpse of her in four months and here she is, not ten feet from me.  She looks a little thinner, she looks a little stronger?  She looks --objectively speaking, she looks stunning.

They gape at me.  I squeak.

Hi.

If anyone intends to greet me in return, they don't then.  Shane makes a small waving motion with her hand, moving it about a quarter of an inch in either direction.  Jenny's expression could barely be called a smile.  Max glares at me.  Alice will not look at me.

Bette turns towards Alice.  The chill from the table, emanating towards me, is now all gathered in Bette and it sluices down icily, all over Alice.  Alice looks up at Bette, her mouth open.  Bette leans down.  I cannot hear what she is saying, I am not meant to hear.  I can guess it isn't pleasant, based on the startled, frantically apologetic look on Alice's face.

So this - this is why you wanted me to come out with you so badly tonight?

B- Bette.  Hang on a second.  You can't think I -

You were lonely for my company?

No.  I mean yes - yes, I was.  We were.  We wanted you to come out but I didn't ask Tina.  I swear I didnt.  Why the fuck would I --

I don't need to hear Bette to cringe a little when I hear Alice protest.  Bette leans a little closer in.  Shane's face registers alarm, disapproval.  Jenny's eyes have not left Max, who I can feel is still staring at me.

I'm not sure what you thought this little stunt would accomplish Alice, but I -

Shane interjects, loudly at first but then realizing I can hear, she quiets her tone.

Bette, hang on a fucking second.  She didn't invite Tina.  Come on!

Shane doesn't even bother to look my way.  I feel as exposed, as shamed and shunned, as I were standing here naked.  Bette answers Shane audibly, her voice softer, a little more tentative.  It occurs to me I should leave.

I wouldn't be so sure, Shane.  This has all the hallmarks of something Alice would -

Bette, please.  Let's try to keep our wits about us.

Bettes head snaps in Helena's direction, her eyes flash menacingly.  My head swivels towards Helena too. I wonder if she knows Bette well enough to tell her this.  Helena holds up both hands.

I'm merely saying.

Bette appears to calm herself, slightly, momentarily.  I clear my throat, I'm about to speak but god knows I have no idea what I'm going to say.  I watch Alice reach for Bette's hand, touch her, and I wonder if it's hearing me that makes Bette jerk her hand away.  She hisses at Alice - this much I do hear.

I wouldn't do that if I were you, Alice.  It's taking every ounce of restraint I have not to tear your meddling little head off.

Bette, come on.  You don't honestly think I --

Can it, Bette!  Your'e way fucking out of line!  You don't even know what's going on!

This is surreal, like one of those reality shows where the participants become so accustomed to living on camera that they simply no longer notice the camera itself, they become blind to the most obvious intrusion.  Instead it becomes just another fixture, like a lamp, or a drinking glass.  I am that fixture, I am that camera.

So you tell me then.  What is going on Shane?

Um.  Shit. I don't know.  But I know that whatever it is, it isn't what you think.

Do you know what I think, Shane?  I think that this was some twisted way for Alice to -

Bette, really.  Try and take a deep breath. 

You take a fucking deep breath, Helena.  I'm sick of deep breaths.  If I take one more goddamn deep breath, I'm going to turn into Jacques Cousteau.  Fuck it, my evening's over.

I wonder, for a moment, if it will do any good to tell Bette that I'm here of my own accord.  As I'm wondering, I see Shane step quickly around Jenny, so she's directly in front of Bette.  She levels Bette a look - not angry, but serious.  Bette meets her eye but does not move.  I'm so stunned, so engrossed and so paralyzed by humiliation that I dont see Max maneuver around Jenny.  When I focus, I find him inches from my face.  He looks directly at me, his eyes flinty.

What the hell are you doing here, Tina?  Why in the hell would you come to a place like this?

Whoa, Max, dude back off.

I take no comfort from Shane's command.  I feel so small, so overlooked and yet so clearly intrusive.  The shame of the unwanted.  I snap.

I could ask you the same question, Max.

The sarcastic emphasis I add to his name is not lost on him, nor on Jenny, who jumps to her feet, her eyes wide in surprise, her hands on her hips.

Come on now, that's just goddamn rude, Tina.  Rude and unnecessary.

Bette has not moved but she is not looking this way.  Shane is, as are Alice and Helena.  Max steps closer.  I get a whiff of cheap aftershave.

Why the fuck don't you leave?  Go someplace for for people like you?