We’re practicing, “Bette began. “Attachment parenting,” Tina said in unison with Bette.

“Well, I say, anything that can be attached can be detached, so why don’t you detach the baby, put her in her crib for a few minutes so you don’t drop me.”

Bette stared at Ms. Collie.  Surely this idiot bitch didn’t think that Angelica and Bette lived here twenty-four hours per day.  “We don’t have a crib… here, but….”

“We bought one, but it became apparent that we weren’t going to use it, so we donated to a family in East LA.  That’s where I work,” Mama Tee explained to her while helping her into the house.

“No crib.”  Collie jotted something on her forms.

“Ms. Collie?”  Bette said.

“Roberta.”

“Roberta, please have a seat.  We can go over the papers.”

“I don’t need to sit. I can’t make any kind of decision here.  With the birth mother practically a vegetable…”

“Her name is Tina.  Tina Kennard.  And she isn’t a vegetable.  She’s in a temporary coma.  She is the birth mother, but we are both Angelica’s parents.”

“According to the state of California and the County of Los Angeles, you are not a parent to this child until I say you are.  Right now, Ms. Porter, you’re the roommate taking care of your friend’s baby.”

Bette counted to 10.  She counted to 20, then counted to 50.  Her eyes closed.  Second parent adoption would be out of the question if she attacked this woman.  “You know, you-you can minimize my role in Angelica’s life for now, if you must—legally--but please, don’t diminish the relationship I have with Tina by labeling me the roommate.  If I could have married her I would have.”

“I understand completely, Bette.  Unfortunately for you, I guess, same-sex marriage is also illegal.  Let’s move on.”  Collie was not going to argue politics with this woman. 

This was going to be so much more difficult than Tina had anticipated.  Tina had been worried about Bette’s art work, the hipness of their house versus a home that was baby-oriented with bright colors and logic toys.  Tina had wanted to buy a bunch of Fisher-Price toys with all of the primary colors, Mattel Learning games that made animal noises, spongy balls and furry, stuffed animals, but Bette had nixed all of it. 

Bette said to Roberta, “…I really want Angelica to develop an intrinsic sense of beauty.”

“Uh-hmm.  I can tell that’s important to you, Bette.  Presumably, that’s why I don’t see an abundance of brightly colored, stimulating, interactive, plastic toys strewn around the home.”

“Exactly.”

“Roberta, please have a seat.  We can take a look at our papers.”  Bette moved to the table and sat down.  She extended her hand to encourage Collie into the other chair.  Surprisingly, Roberta Collie did take a seat.