She gathered in all the beauty, filling her sight and inner thoughts with only these spectacular viewsdiligently trying to cleans herself of all else, but it was a purging process that really couldn't succeedshe'd have to extinguish too much of herself to let go of all those particular thoughts and imagesso she ignored them as much as she couldand that's really all that this art could docapture her attention and captivate her for a while.
After wandering around for a couple of hours, reliving her academic experiences of the various styles of art she viewed, she walked down the many steps of the beautiful edifice and headed back to the hotel.She had hoped that all the walking could tire her mind and body enough to coax her into the restful sleep she would need before the new day had broken.The new day, the new life.It was getting late.She did something she had longed to do for a whilegot dinner from a New York City hot dog vendor.She devoured it as she overlooked the Park from street level.And as night fell, she retreated to her room.She prepared for bed and lay herself down, under the covers, and onto the pillow.Her head fell slowly down.And as she focused and meditated all images and voices as far out of her mind as she could, she held herself, on her side, in a fetal position, closed her eyes and winced at the site projected in her mind's eye and with a sole tear shedding, she said 'goodnight, I love you' to the little girl who had stolen her heart and who had, in spite of Bette, kept it.)
02/21/2006 ,
15:04:48 PM From:
Van Comments:
HEART WRENCHING
02/21/2006 ,
15:08:46 PM From:
smiley Comments:
I am sitting here at work trying not to cry! Damn that was heartbreaking! your writing is so detailed and drenched with such heartfelt emotions. I hope happiness for Bette, in whatever way you percieve it to be. Now I have to go read a happy story...lol
02/21/2006 ,
15:34:24 PM From:
BetteAndTinaForever Comments:
i did read at work and cried and had to lie that i had something in my eye, somethign really big, since the tears were just streaming down non-stop...my heart is breaking...so this story has nothing to do with Valediction, right? just another spoiler-influenced story? i need some happines, i hope you're taking us there
02/21/2006 ,
15:38:39 PM From:
vam Comments:
Simply heartbreaking. The tears have been flowing.
02/21/2006 ,
15:57:27 PM From:
Mad Maggot Comments:
I ADORE your stories... they look and sound very real to me, i can see the actors saying these words and doing what you write. god dammit, what i personally see on the show right now, between bette and tina is so... shattered, it's not convincing even though the actors are at their best, but the writers just make everything look horrible for me... i just wish they could have people like you to write for them and actually open their eyes to what tragic, dramatic storylines should look like... oh, and i'm so glad kit's one of the main characters in your stories, same goes to alice and shane who both come off as friends and not strangers.. it's nice to see joyce not as one-dimensional as she was in S2... in other words, you rock :D i'll just go to wipe my tears now.
02/21/2006 ,
16:00:12 PM From:
missyang Comments:
I love it! I really love it! I can even see how Pam says these words to JB and how frustrated Tina is. Great job! Please continue.
02/21/2006 ,
16:10:40 PM From:
gogk Comments:
you can`t imagine all the pain that you show us in this chapter, was a heartbreaking, it`s difficult don`t cry with this kind of post.great job but i really really hope some hapinnes for Bette
02/21/2006 ,
16:26:33 PM From:
onthebrink Comments:
Your well written words paint a gut wrenchingly sad and realistic story. Thanks for writing.
02/21/2006 ,
16:49:14 PM From:
dedpreztourist Comments:
Just when I'd put the kleenex away. I'm ready, take me on another thrilling emotional roller-coaster ride.
02/21/2006 ,
17:22:04 PM From:
Phoenix Comments:
It's sad but I really like the intensity. You're a really good writer. You should conitinue. Good Job.
02/21/2006 ,
18:07:40 PM From:
Fresa Comments:
So sad. I'm ready to just cry my eyes out. Please continue!
02/21/2006 ,
18:40:11 PM From:
fergz1 Comments:
fuck...that was so just..OMG..I'm crying, my heart aches...but I hope you continue with this one...it was wonderful
02/21/2006 ,
18:46:11 PM From:
2005fanforever Comments:
T- that was absolutely gut-wrenching. You have an amazing way with your stories... BEAUTIFUL...
02/21/2006 ,
19:40:31 PM From:
ld18 Comments:
Like everyone else, I found this chapter heartbreaking. You did a wonderful job expessing Bette sadness. But, while you may not be able to visualize a Tina that would take Angelica away from Bette, I find that the Season 3 Tina could do exactly that.
02/21/2006 ,
20:14:03 PM From:
bettyvhall Comments:
Sad, emotions I can't describe.heart breating. A broken woman in a big lonely city. Time doesn't heal all wounds,it just deaden it a little. Maybe not Tina,but her boyfriend would not want Bette around or near any of Tina or Bettes friends. So maybe Bette did the best things Thanks yes. like all the rest I cryed.
02/21/2006 ,
20:34:45 PM From:
adway Comments:
TLW needs to sign you up to their writing staff! Your writing is amazing to be able to illicit all this emotion! I really liked the way you made us feel the agony both Bette and Tina are going thru. Oh, please continue quickly!
02/21/2006 ,
21:02:35 PM From:
amazonlvr Comments:
Great read. Hope there will more soon. As I was reading it I was wondering what Alice, Shane, etc. take on the Tina/Man thing was. I havn't seen that aspect explored much.
02/21/2006 ,
21:11:57 PM From:
azmama Comments:
Your talent is amazing. The depth of emotion in this story is boundless. Your writng is truly your gift to us. Tina is not a likable person and I understand her grief but Bette would never hurt Angelica. Bette is so alone. Even on TLW, Bette is never offered redemption. Tina comes across as a vengeful and mean spirited person.
02/21/2006 ,
21:26:35 PM From:
dixirella Comments:
Very intense and moving. I love it. I'm eager to see where this story will go. Please continue!!! :)
02/21/2006 ,
22:05:58 PM From:
arkansas jo Comments:
sad just so sad
02/21/2006 ,
23:40:13 PM From:
tylo Comments:
damn your killing me!!!!!!!!!!!! please continue with the other story
02/21/2006 ,
23:59:19 PM From:
Lamentamini Comments:
Damn that was beyond painful. Okay I admit it I cried too. I'm just glad I wasn't at work. :O I really liked the cab driver. He could tell Bette was pretty much running from something.
02/22/2006 ,
00:06:40 AM From:
Marti Comments:
You have an amazing ability to use words to convey powerlessness, emptiness, true loss, unconditional love, and hope. This was so heartwrenching that my only solace was to mourn along with Bette, Shane, and Kit. A large part of Bette died when Kit took Angelica from her embrace and in that moment I couldn't hold back my tears any longer. I thank you wholeheartedly for this beautiful story filled with so much emotion that it illuminates hope. Please continue.
02/22/2006 ,
00:40:09 AM From:
deathstar Comments:
amazing...absolutely amazing,cuts right thru the heart...please do continue.
02/22/2006 ,
02:39:20 AM From:
Biased Comments:
heart-breaking... like watching S2 & S3. The words you write make you feel Bette's pain. Please continue!
02/22/2006 ,
05:53:48 AM From:
B Comments:
That was the lonliest story ive ever read...I honestly think my heart broke a little more with each word,Brilliantly written as always and tho im not sure how much my poor heart can take id love you to continue....
02/22/2006 ,
12:22:48 PM From:
bonaire girl Comments:
It' so real written, it makes me soooo sad, i need a break from work and go for walk as i cannot get the image of Bette out of my head. Please continue and post soon.
02/22/2006 ,
14:45:44 PM From:
slipperynipple Comments:
damn. shit. fuck. TMerlin you are going to have to stop making me cry dude...
02/22/2006 ,
15:18:00 PM From:
2sweet2bhurt Comments:
Congulations on your success with the story, the story was amazing, I did cry and did it while I was at work. It's sad because this is our true reality. These are some of the things that happen in a lesbian relationship that contains the elements of a baby. Regardless of how much bette wanted that baby to be hers it was in fact tina's. By law tina has the right of way. Which if the couple were to break up the birth mother would always be the first condsideration unless proven unfit. You did an excellant job bacause not only did you bring out the reality of the characters, but you brought the reality of being in a long term lesbian relationship. This is something any one could go through, throughout time at some point in life. Well spoken, well written and well explain. I applaud for your courage to expose the reality and truth of the world and its prejudice towards gay women and how it can leave you feeling lifeless and emotionless in the end. Great story keep up the good work. Can't wait for your next work of art.
02/28/2006 ,
16:26:33 PM From:
poohhoney67 Comments:
absolutely heart breaking, you capture everyone's emotions really well. thanks for the long update keep them coming i like them long.
02/28/2006 ,
18:07:36 PM From:
charlenestate Comments:
T, truly an accomplished author you are to evoke such emothins and reactions from your readers! I am compelled to read the next chapter, but had to comment...just awesome!!!
03/24/2006 ,
23:39:49 PM From:
miamigrl Comments:
How sad!!!!!!!!!!
05/07/2006 ,
17:36:22 PM From:
ut Comments:
This is so sad!
