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Valediction by TMerlin Page 9

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TINA-  "I don't know what it means.  I know what I want it to mean."


 


KIT-  "And what's that?"


 


TINA-  "That when she looks at me she doesn't really need to ask if I meant itand that when she looks into me, she knows she has found me."


 


KIT-  "I hope so, but that's a lot to ask of someone if you haven't found yourself Tina."  (Tina gets emotional and Kit looks at her.)  "I'm sorry.  But what's going to be different Tina when she looks at you now?  What is she gonna see that's different from all the other times she's looked at you these past months?  You want her to find you but what will she find?  Are youare you really still in love with her?  Is that enough for youis that enough for her?  When you look into those beautiful brown eyes of her, will you see a woman still in love with you?"


 


TINA-  "Kit"


 


KIT- "Or will you see the pain, the hurt, and the sins of the past?  Or will you see the love for her daughter?  Because all that emotion won't be her being in love with you Tinadon't mistake it for that."


 


TINA-  "What are you saying?  She doesn't love me anymore?"


 


KIT-  "I'm saying be careful what you ask for, but be certain of what it is you're looking for.  Tina what did you see in her tonight?"


 


TINA-  "When I was close to her and even when I was physically pushing her away"


 


KIT-  (A bit jokingly)  "Like when you lunged at her and threw her up against the wall and I thought you were going to tear her apart?"


 


TINA-  (She smiles, looks down then back at Kit)  "Yes Kit, even thenI feltI don't knowit was like all I could see was her eyes.  And then she grabbed me and said those words to meand I sawall I could seewas my lover and her hurt, the hurt I had caused.  I was seeing all this passion in her eyesall this emotion, all this angerbut I didn't want to look away, I felt like I just wanted to lose myself in herI wanted her to fight her way into meI wanted her to not let go.  I kept seeing her disappointment in me.  And I saw mine."


 


KIT-  "Tina, don't hold her accountable for anything other than what she feels for youwhat she holds deep down inside of her just for you.  That's what you need to look for and when she looks into you that's what you need to show hernot your fears, not your insecuritiesthat's for laterthe first thing she needs to see is YOU and that deep part of you that is her'sassuming it's still there.  Not Angelica, not forgiving past wrongs or forgetting them, not Henry, not sexual confusion, not your finances, not anything other than that one so important thing."  (Kit is getting emotional now too.)  "But Tina, if you look into those eyes and that soul, if you really look and all you see is a dark void, if you don't see 'Tina' in the depths of her soul, wrapped up like the treasure that captivated her heart once and that I know was there, you say goodbye and you say it with all your heart."  (Tina's tears stream down her face.)  "And then you solidify a friendship and make a place for Angelica in that friendship so that she can still be a part of her life, always.  And then both of you can move on and we can all move on, as friends and with love always a part of your friendship and our collective friendship for the rest of our lives, regardless of who is in your respective beds.  And whatever you do, don't you dare do it so that you and Angelica can't be a part of my life.  If that happens, I swear I'll beat both of you to a pulp and I'll seek sole custody after I kidnap her to a country with no extraditiondo you understand me?"  (Kit's crying while trying to be a little funny.  She embraces Tina.)


 


TINA-  (While still in the embrace)  "Kit, my God Kit, I'm so scaredwhat if the only thing that looks back at me is a dark void?"


 


KIT-  "Put your fear aside.  It's not about fear now or you or even her.  You need to go and look into that soul.  Whatever is staring back at you, we'll cross that bridge when we come to ityou know I'm always here for youyou'll always be like a sister to me. "  (She pulls back a bit.)  "You twoI should beat your asses to a pulp just for putting me through all is."  (She wipes Tina's tears.)  "Don't cry pretty ladyremember, one way or another you're gonna share love for the rest of your lives and minesave all this mourning for a potentially lost lover for a later time, should that time ever come to pass.  Now, you be careful with that head of yoursdon't over exert yourself tonight.  I know they said it's a mild concussion, but I'm going to get really pissed if anything happens to youunderstand?  And call me tomorrow so I know what's going on."


 


(Tina nods, and just then, the doctor arrives with the paper work.  Alice arrives shortly thereafter.) 


 


ALICE-  "Hi sweetie, are you ok?"


 


TINA-  "I think so Al."


 


ALICE-  "I saw Angelica out front with one of the nurses.  She's sound asleep."


KIT-  "She started crying but she fell asleep after mama here fed her."


 


ALICE-  "Good.  Then she won't give me too much trouble.  But I can usually talk her outa that"


 


KIT-  "More like talk her into falling asleep"


 


ALICE-  "Hey!"


 


KIT-  "Just kidding Alice."


 


TINA-  "Thanks Al.  I don't know what I'd do without you guys."   


 


(Back at Bette's house, Shane and Bette are talking again.  Shane tried to change the subject.)


 


SHANE-  "I can't believe how fast Angelica is growing.  Bette, I love seeing you two together.  You're going to be an amazing influence on her."


 


BETTE-  "Yeah, if kidnapping her doesn't somehow dash that hope!"


 


SHANE-  "Hey, technically it was not really kidnappingI mean you brought her back without anyone saying or doing anything.  As far as I'm concerned, you were just a little late in getting her back home." 


 


BETTE-  (She smiles)  "Hmwell, Shane my friend, sounds good.  That's my story and I'm gonna stick to it!  One question"  (Shane nods)  "Will you bail me out after I get arrested for attempted kidnapping?"


 


SHANE-  "Of course Ms. Porter."


 


BETTE-  "Shane I never thought I'd love anyone like I love her.  I am totally and completely taken with her." 


 


SHANE-  (She squints trying to figure out who Bette's referring to)  "Uhhh"


 


BETTE-  (Realizes what Shane's wondering and interrupts)  "Angelica.  Oh for fuck sakes, who am I kidding?"


 


SHANE-  "What do you mean?"


 


BETTE-  "I still love her."


 


SHANE-  (She squints again)  "Angelica?"


 


BETTE-  "No, her mother."


 


SHANE-  "I knowyou're right, you ain't kidding anyone on that issue.  But I guess the point is whether it's enough.  Especially after all that's happened.  How could a love survive thatall that shitand not be worth holding onto I just don't know.  When you say it's over, I can understand somehow, but somehow I just don't.  I guess it's weird for the rest of us.  We've been watching you both all these years, watching in awe of you both and of your relationship, of your deep and abiding love, of the friendship between you and the friendship you share with each of us and all of us, your love of Angelica.  Telling us it's over is like after you cheated on Tina and she told you it was over.  Do you remember your reaction?  Do you remember how you felt?  Do you remember the resolve that must have exploded inside you to win her back?  I think we all sit here on the sidelines and while we might see the mistakes, the hurt, the stubborness...sorrywe also still see the love and we want to take you both and smack your heads together.  But we're just back seat driversif you don't feel it and see it, all our resolve makes no difference.  We are just spectators after all.




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