CHAPTER 11 - 'And remember the truth that once was spoken"

(The gratifying and deep sleep suddenly ended for Tina.  She opened her eyes and turned to look at the clock on the standit was three in the morning.  She found herself outside Bette's arms but not far from them.  Bette was in the same position but closer to her own side of the bed when Tina awoke flat on her back.  She turned her head to look at Bette. 'It's not a dreamit's really not a dream,' thought Tina.  Her eyes focused on the beautiful woman, who was now visible only through the evening light provided by a rambunctious moon. 

Tina's eyes were wide open but she couldn't get enough of the vision of Bette, just lying there.  Tina turned onto her side and stared at Bette.  She carefully examined her, from the top of her head to the exposed upper chest and nape.  Bette's hair had fallen back, allowing the view.  Bette was right, Tina thought, she was exhausted.  But now, she felt awake, she felt rested, and she was feeling a physical rejuvenation of a most intense sort.

Like a kid in a candy store, or like the unwise visitor to the wild who feeds the animals at her own risk that Bette spoke of, Tina slowly reached out her left hand and tentatively though longingly, touched Bette's hair.  She was gentle, so as not to stir the beautiful creature.  Tina was besotted with the woman before her.  She wanted to touch every inch of her. 

Tina thought about her talk with Rose and how the latter had warned her to take things slowone step at a time.  And this made sense, Tina thought.  How could she do otherwise?  This was all so new to her, and she truly felt as she had expressed to Bette before they retired for the evening- 'I don't know how to do this.  I don't know how to face this.  I don't know how fast or slow to go.  I don't know what the next step is supposed to be.  But if nothing else, I know that all I want right now is to be with youeven if that just means we share the same bed.' 

Tina's chest tingled and her heart dropped in a sensation of indescribable feeling as Tina could not believe how endearing this woman was to her, in part because of how selfless, generous and sensitive Bette was to her, hours ago and when they fell asleep.  She was so decent to her, thought Tina.  The cougar indeed had a heart of a lion and the touch of a gentle soul.  If Tina had any uncertainty, any fear, any anxiety about what seemed like an overwhelming new beginning in her life, she found courage in the woman lying next to her, she found strength in her eyes, in her embrace.

Tina remembered her own words again - 'I don't know what the next step is supposed to be.'  She remembered her words to Rose and how she wondered aloud that night to her friend what this all meant- was she quite simply not straight or was this a phase?  Could it be possible that at this stage she is finding herself falling for a woman?  Is she meant to love this woman?  But how?  She told Rose about all her feelings, the intensity, the longing to see Bette again, the physical arousal, the refreshing energy bursting into her after meeting this wonderful womanit was all so newshe had never felt this way before, not for a man, not for anyone.

Tina slowly and quietly sat up in the bed.  She looked at Bette and wondered about the other words that Rose shared with herabout Bette.  Tina wondered what Bette had been going through and wondered whether she was wading into dangerous territory- Rose mentioned that Bette hadn't been in a serious relationship in a very long time and was a 'lady's woman kind of woman,' as Rose described.  What if she was to become the 'next' woman for Bettejust another of her conquests?  Tina searched herself, but all she could find was Betteinside her thoughts, in her heart, in her feelings.  Bette had wanted to talk after they kissed.  And it made sense.  Perhaps things would be somehow more clear when they talked the next day.

But then Tina also recalled the words Bette spoke before they slept'Right now I feel as though I would hold you forever if you let me. I will hold you, I will caress you, I will pamper you, I will adore you, and when you are readyshould that day ever arriveI will make endless love to you, but until that time comes I will hold you close and hold you tightly.'

Tina removed the covers and slid to the side of the bed, carefully disembarking the 'cougar's' sanctum.  She slowly walked over to the window and gazed out into the evening sky.  She replayed the moments of the past evening and past weeks.  She replayed the words that were spoken between her and Rose, between her and Bettethe night of the storm, the night at Rose's place, the gallerythe galleryshe thought how the words there, though plentiful between her and Bette, were but background to the sensations, the glances, the invisible dance between them.  And that was really a hallmark of this new relationship thought Tinathe emotions and feelings between her and Bette seemed paramount and seemed to connect themthey seemed to run deep.  Tina recalled her words to Rose when they first discussed Tina's new found feelings, the words that now came to her like the answer to address all these riddles "I need to figure this out and I need to figure out how Bette fits into my lifeone way or another" 'one way or another'. 

And as for the mysterious next stepwell, thought Tina, even if it became the last momentous step in a brief love affair, that step is one she had to take and she would eventually be taking it, whether now, whether tomorrow, whether weeks from nowit wasn't negotiable, regardless of how the 'what ifs' were eventually answered.  In the end, the most powerful element inside her was a simple truthshe knew how she felt, she knew how she felt now, and come what may, that would always be with her 'But if nothing else, I know that all I want right now is to be with you' Tina turned and looked at Bette, and she was resolved 'the next step, the next step,' Tina thought.  Tina returned to the sanctum and resumed a peaceful slumber.

After only a couple of hours, the dawn came.  Bette was roused, oddly enough, by an incredible stillness she felt.  She opened her eyes and beheld a sleeping Tina.  There was that facea face that had launched a phase in Bette's life that she thought might never comeand yet, Bette wondered, 'could I be so lucky?  Finally?  Will I be graced by such a blessing?'  Bette looked at the blonde hair, the fair skin, the beautiful countenance, it seemed finally to be at peace it this morning.  Bette smiled, she smiled as though all the gifts she ever dreamed of were finally given to her and all she had to do now was unwrap themand yet she wonderedwould this wondrous thing, would this serendipity in her life cause her to unravel?  Could she deal with it?  Could she face it, accept it and experience it in the manner that such a gift deserves?  Was she worthy?  'Oh how beautiful she is,' thought Betteover and over.  She was overcome with excitement.  She would be spending the day with Tina.  She was nervous, yet gleefulthey would finally get to talk, but she would be with her all day todayat least she hoped that would be as it would turn out.

Bette slowly arose, pulling the covers off herself and got out of bed.  She stood there for a moment and watched TinaBette couldn't move for several moments more.  She smiled and her heart jumped.  Bette thought she would take a shower and get the coffee goingmaybe even prepare breakfast (she chuckled at this), even though it was still early.  She got some things for Tina and left them on Tina's side of the bed.  Bette went to shower in the en suite bathroom.

A few moments later, the early morning rays of sunshine beckoned to Tina as well.  She opened her eyes to see an empty bed.  She turned one way and then another and slowly got up.  She saw the things Bette had left for her.  'Maybe Bette stepped out,' she thought.  She got up, took the things and walked out of the room to see if Bette was there, but she wasn't anywhere to be found.  Tina walked back into the bedroom and the heard noise coming from the master bathroom.  The door was ajar.  She got closer and realized from the sounds that Bette was in the shower.  She carefully looked in and could see the outlines of a vague figure behind the shower doorTina swallowed.)

TINA-  (She yells out)  "Morning Bette"

BETTE-  (Smiling)  "Tina?  Hey there, good morning.  Did you see the stuff I left?  If you need any more towels just get them from the wall closet.  You can use the bathroom you used yesterday in the hall.  Don't worry about the water.  You can use it at the same time.  I left you the jeans and top on the bed, in case you don't want to wear your clothes from yesterday, but if you want something else just go to my closet and help yourself, ok?"

TINA-  "Thanks Bette, that's great.  I'm going to head into the shower now."

(Bette reveled in Tina's voicereveled in the fact that, as she was showering, the blonde was steps awayin her bathroom, in her bedroom, in her homein her life.  She was so happy she started humming as she continued to bathe.  She washed her hair, happily scrubbing, this way and that.

Tina went to the bathroom in the hallway, near the guestroom.  She hung out the large towel and went into the shower.