"Tina. I feel like I'm losing her and I don't know what to do," the tears were now coursing down her face at a rapid rate.
"Why are you losing her, has something happened between you two?" Shane's eyes were darting back and forth between the two broken women within her vision.
"I don't know is the honest answer, if something has happened then I'm completely oblivious to it, have I missed something here Shane? Has something happened either to Tina or me or us and I've completely missed it. We seemed to be drifting apart and I don't know how to reach out for her. It's almost like she doesn't want me to reach her, you know?" Bette was trying voice the thoughts and find answers to questions she hadn't realised existed.
"Wow man, Iuh I didn't know you guys weren't getting on, well, I've noticed that you've not been quite as close recently but I guess I never realised it went deeper than that." Shane seemed genuinely shocked to find out that her very dear friends were at a crisis point in their life. These two people who she looked up to, who she loved like the family she had never had herself, it tore her apart to think that they were falling apart.
She looked past Bette to see Tina covering her face, her shoulders gently shaking, giving a clear indication that she was very upset about the words she was hearing.
"Do you know Shane, I have never loved anyone or anything in my life like I love that woman, and it really scares the shit out of me when I think about it, about how intensely I feel about her. You know when I met her and fell in love with her it totally shook me to the core about how deeply I could fall in love with one person, and it keeps getting deeper, the longer we're together the deeper I fall in love with her, I just watch her sometimes, when she doesn't know I'm looking, and I just melt, you know, she just makes me fall in love that little bit more without even realizing it. Then she'll turn around and just smile at me, her eyes dance when she looks at me and then she makes me feel like no one else in the world exists, we can be in a room full of people and she just looks at me and its just us, no-one else - her and me."
Shane felt the tears well in her eyes, she had never heard Bette talk so passionately about anything, even art, they all knew that Tina was the love of her life, but she had never heard these intense feelings being verbalised by Bette before.
"But. You know, it feels like I've lost that from her when she looks at me now, her eyes don't dance anymore Shane, they've lost their sparkle, it feels like when she looks at me she just wants to run the other way, and I can't cope with that, I couldn't live anymore if she doesn't want me. I wouldn't want to live if she wasn't in my life."
Bette's head dropped as the tears flowed like never before, she brought her head up and tipped it back to look at the stars filling the sky, "my heart is breaking Shane, and it hurts so fucking much, all I want is Tina, and my heart is in so many pieces right now that I just don't know what to do! She holds it all Shane, every single piece of my heart."
Tina stood and made her way over to the two women, Shane looked past Bette and saw Tina approaching. Bette looked around when she heard something behind her. Her eyes met with Tina's and they locked together, Tina continued walking towards Bette, the tears continued to fall down two sets of faces, Tina stopped in front of Bette's chair and knelt before her, their eyes never leaving the others.
Tina's hand cupped the broken face in front of her, "Baby, will you let me mend your broken heart, let me put the pieces back together, please baby, I'm so sorry I've hurt you."
Bette's arms encircled the woman in front of her; she held Tina so tightly and buried her head in her shoulder.
"Baby, look at me," Tina asked Bette as she leaned back to look into her love's face, "I just need to ask you something."
Bette looked directly into Tina's eyes, tears still escaping.
"What were you going to say to me, as I was leaving the house, you said it didn't matter, but I need to know what you were going to say."
Bette looked intently at Tina, a small smile appearing before she said, "I uh was just going to tell you that you have a great ass in those shorts" The love of her life, kneeling in front of her, with a sparkle returning in her watery eyes, and for Bette, Tina had never looked more beautiful than she did at that very moment.
"I love you so much Bette," Tina said as she leaned forward and placed her lips gently against Bette's.
Shane looked on at the two women in front of her embracing like they were afraid to ever let go, she got up and quietly walked away, a small smile appeared on her face as the unshed tears slowly escaped the confines of her lids.
12/07/2005 ,
14:50:01 PM From:
lwfan_niki Comments:
Yes, please continue. Not to say that this was actually the beginning of the end but the disconnect was creeping in at this point (and I am sure before). Possibly so many things could have been avoided. At any rate, this is fiction even though many many of us feel these stories so deeply. I can go on...but, please I ask you to continue.
12/07/2005 ,
15:00:58 PM From:
artgirl Comments:
Incredibly intense. Too bad the L word writers didn't visit this site more often. You as well as many other writers seem to tap into our favorited characters better than they do. Nice job.
12/07/2005 ,
15:09:31 PM From:
lwsho2005 Comments:
I think even JB would have preferred this story line. I heard she hated the affair plot! Go on sista, write on !
12/07/2005 ,
15:19:09 PM From:
BetteAndTinaForever Comments:
beautiful, i think someone should send Ilene the link to this site so she can get things right in s3
12/07/2005 ,
15:29:35 PM From:
Brooke Comments:
I hope you continue..this was a great start.
12/07/2005 ,
15:43:18 PM From:
Lauren25 Comments:
this was beautiful, I wish that this was what really happened. please post again soon.
12/07/2005 ,
15:45:00 PM From:
allyemmerson Comments:
you mean you haven't written the chapter already ?? just do it gal it's brilliant
12/07/2005 ,
15:46:42 PM From:
Jwet Comments:
Hey girl you have been so holding out on me. THis was so good. To think I send yo u things. This was so good I don't even know where to begin. Please go on
12/07/2005 ,
15:49:37 PM From:
smiley Comments:
I was almost crying...please continue!!!
12/07/2005 ,
15:56:36 PM From:
Chasemenow Comments:
Wow, that was intense and beautiful. I sure wish things had happened that way. Keep writing!
12/07/2005 ,
15:58:22 PM From:
missyang Comments:
Great job. Please do go on.
12/07/2005 ,
16:23:50 PM From:
bandtfan Comments:
Yes, you must go on please. That was so beautiful and moving. Keep them talking and loving each other.
12/07/2005 ,
16:32:32 PM From:
badgirl Comments:
yes more please! that was a great chapter!
12/07/2005 ,
18:14:56 PM From:
graylines Comments:
That was every sweet chappy. Please continue.
12/07/2005 ,
18:16:24 PM From:
B Comments:
How could you not continue??? tho i do see how you could get away with this being a once off it had a beginning a very emotional middle and a sort of end....but there is so much more to write here after that scene i loved it,it was very good,thanks for posting it and look forward to more!!!
12/07/2005 ,
18:22:00 PM From:
honda90 Comments:
yes wouldn't that way have been better...but not good t.v.Yes pls continue as this is fanfic and your the boss writing it!!! Go girl
12/07/2005 ,
18:25:00 PM From:
wittybanter Comments:
potential? hell yeah there's potential!! i loved how you made bette so vulnerable. this is a really nice set-up for a steamy NC-17 chapter ;) as they reconnect.
12/07/2005 ,
18:26:03 PM From:
hope4tb Comments:
Wish you were writing for the show!!! Great beginning!!Thank you. Please write and post more SOOOOOOOONNNNN!!!
12/07/2005 ,
18:28:48 PM From:
Just Once Comments:
A really wonderful start! Please continue. I enjoyed your insight into this scene from the Pilot Episode. Thanks so very much for writing.
12/07/2005 ,
18:29:01 PM From:
miamigrl Comments:
I'm begging you to continue. Nicely written.
12/07/2005 ,
18:34:35 PM From:
xxjoey6 Comments:
If only that is the way It could have happened on the show. please please continue I loved it
12/07/2005 ,
19:30:48 PM From:
shortyw Comments:
maybe illene should hire u guys to write for the show because her writers are always leaving loop holes in the story's i like please continue.
12/07/2005 ,
21:19:43 PM From:
Anngie Mosby Comments:
This is the way it should have been on the show. Yes...more...please!
12/07/2005 ,
22:37:35 PM From:
Down Low Comments:
OMG...look who has joined the fray and joined it spectularly I might add.
12/07/2005 ,
23:42:05 PM From:
lowerbottom Comments:
This was an exceptionally well written chapter and I can't wait for more.
12/08/2005 ,
03:15:47 AM From:
hansen Comments:
Holy cow...what a first for you, absolutely wonderful, amazing and great. It's really a shame if this is your last post, for you have so much to give in your beautiful writing. Please continue...
12/08/2005 ,
03:55:46 AM From:
hansen Comments:
I forgot to say....that you actully made me cry and I never cry, so this is how wonderful your writing is to me. JT - I can totally understand that you are proud of your partner :o))
12/08/2005 ,
05:03:56 AM From:
wo`wo Comments:
oooo...intense!!!! i love this story...full potential! start writing away!!!!!!!!
12/09/2005 ,
09:08:24 AM From:
wahbin Comments:
What a wonderful start! Your writing had me at poolside, right behind Shane ....this was definitely a box of Kleenex chappy! If only the show had taken this path, I wouldn't have had to suffer through season 2. Please continue, I hope to see more posts soon.
12/09/2005 ,
11:57:13 AM From:
vfullart Comments:
oh dammit. I am crying.
12/09/2005 ,
21:55:43 PM From:
bettefortina Comments:
That was great. i felt that scene was incomplete as well. Yur chapter is a great folow up and leads well into the final scene where Shane comes across Bette and Tina sitting on the front porch. Great job! Post soon.
12/10/2005 ,
14:48:51 PM From:
ceetime Comments:
please follow up
12/31/2005 ,
21:08:20 PM From:
ut Comments:
This is good and you make me cry!
