I can't do this to you. I'm letting you go. I need to let you go, baby. The house, the gallery, you can have them all back. Forget about me. I know you love me, I will live the rest of my life knowing that, and regretting this, but please try to move on. Please give me the chance to give you a shot at happiness with someone else, happiness I'm not sure I'm still capable of giving you."
"No, T, it's you. Please, baby, believe me. It's you. It's always just been you." Bette's voice had taken a decidedly desperate tone. "T, I love you. Please don't--"
"But I do, Bette. I do." Tina looked at Bette, her eyes revealing just how much this confession, this plea, hurt her. "I love you. Maybe it's not enough, but I do. And I don't know how to stop. I don't think I can."
"Then don't. T, come home. We'll fix this, T, I promise--"
"Don't make any promises, Bette. When you promised me the world, when you promise me forever, you never seem to understand that I don't want the world. I never did." Tina sighed. "I know it seems like I'm asking for a lot of things, Bette, but they're not what I want. Or need. I don't want your promises, and I don't want the world, Bette. I just want you."
Bette knew she had no words to answer.
"That's what I need, Bette." Tina looked at her. "What do you want?"
You. At home in LA. With me. The two of us back together. Our family.
But Bette knew the wrong answer would limit her options, and she also knew "I don't know" was above and beyond the wrong answer.
So she sat, mute, staring up at Tina. Searching for words and answers that would not come.
08/22/2005 ,
05:38:19 AM From:
snQQpy Comments: Uuuugggghhhhh! You and your damn pity parties.....damnit...I need a tissue.
Tiff....you're killing me softly....I cant stand to see B&T like this.
Ok,I have to go and call my g/f (who by the way is not an L fan) and discuss this travesty with her...LOL
QQg 4wrd 2 the next chapter....
08/22/2005 ,
05:38:56 AM From:
slipperynipple Comments:
*deep breath* j'adore this story.....
08/22/2005 ,
05:51:27 AM From:
2005fanforever Comments:
heart wrenching.....
08/22/2005 ,
06:03:16 AM From:
the word Comments:
the words are : I LOVE UR STORY. Thank u Tiff ur touching each and every one of us. keep going
08/22/2005 ,
06:31:06 AM From:
AshleyRoth Comments:
this is really killing me. go on but not too hard because i am myself in the middle of a shaky relationship and my heart is easy to break. but please go on. love the way you picture bette.
08/22/2005 ,
07:00:43 AM From:
wo`wo Comments:
Searching for words and answers that would not come??!?!!awwwwwww...c'mon Bette,you can do better than that since you are all the way cross countries!!Tell her...!!!!
08/22/2005 ,
07:19:02 AM From:
peaches Comments:
Beyond remarkably brilliant.
08/22/2005 ,
07:29:59 AM From:
techgal Comments:
What was so awful about their last conversation in LA? I don't get it?
"I can't live another day without you, I never figured out how, and I don't want to learn because I'd rather give everything else up than to be away from you"
What else does Bette need to say?
08/22/2005 ,
07:52:02 AM From:
ghasg Comments:
i absolutely understand tina's perspective, but i think she needs to grow up a little bit!lol! great update!
08/22/2005 ,
08:05:03 AM From:
pandora007 Comments:
WOW..i still have faith tiff...
08/22/2005 ,
08:08:47 AM From:
kasbre Comments:
Wow Tiff that was awesome. such emotion in both of them. i hope bette can convince tina to give her another chance.
08/22/2005 ,
08:20:00 AM From:
moonshadow Comments:
C'mon Tina! I just don't get her! I felt like Bette just poured out her heart and soul and then some! I hope Bette says just the right thing this time....hmmmm, maybe words aren't what she needs right now...LOL! Tiff, this was a geat chapter, even though the whole thing is making me a little crazy! Thank you!
08/22/2005 ,
08:51:54 AM From:
Van Comments:
what r u doing?????? this is 2 heartbreaking!!!! y r u not fixing this??????
08/22/2005 ,
09:31:36 AM From:
telizh Comments:
I love your story.. I have been reading it from the beginning.. sorry if i have not commented sooner. The drama you bring to it is excellent and very realistic. Sometimes things don't always go the way you want them to. Can't wait to see what you bring.. good or bad :)
08/22/2005 ,
09:52:02 AM From:
Precious Shadow Comments:
Bette's answer...."I want to be happy..I want my life to be complete. Sometimes, if those feelings are new, something we have never felt before, we don't recognise what they are until their gone. To be honest, I never fully saw what I had in you, until I chased you away. Life was the teacher here and I failed the final exam. I am begging the teacher to let me retake the exam because, this time, I know that I can ace it. You were my test Tina, and I have learned so much from my failure. Please let me retake the test....please let me prove to you that I am not a failure." Bette holds her breath...waiting for Tina's answer...knowing full well that, her future depends on it.
How did I do??? Thanks for a great story!
08/22/2005 ,
10:52:07 AM From:
honda90 Comments:
Wow, I second what Precious Shadow said.............pls save them
08/22/2005 ,
11:08:22 AM From:
lastkid Comments:
Lovely. Just lovely. I agree though, that Bette's said and done all she can. If Tina wanting "just her" means that Bette has to go back and erase the affair, Tina does need to let her go, forever. If Tina can glean a little bit of perspective here, (come on, help her Tiff), she'd see that Bette wants what she wants. I'd love to see you put them back together, but if Tina can't, I guess she can't. Better to break Bette's heart (again) now than to torture her with a lifetime of recrimination and disappointment. You're writing this so well, so beautifully.
08/22/2005 ,
11:26:11 AM From:
willowr Comments:
"MY FAVORITE MISTAKE" is the PERFECT SONG EVER!!! For this story...
Specially the part where it goes:
DID YOU KNOW COULD YOU TELL YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE THAT I EVER LOVED NOW EVERYTHING'S SO WRONG
... *speechless* *idea!* *runs to cd player to put on this amazing and heart-breaking song by Sheryl Crow*
08/22/2005 ,
11:31:43 AM From:
willowr Comments:
Sorry, I can't help myself right now... I'm too overwhelmed and all I can say/sing is:
WELL MAYBE NOTHING LASTS FOREVER EVEN WHEN YOU STAY TOGETHER I DON'T NEED FOREVER AFTER IT'S YOUR LAUGHTER THAT WON'T LET ME GO SO I'M HOLDING ON THIS WAAAY..
AAAH FUCK! (now that last line was just me)
08/22/2005 ,
11:53:47 AM From:
M99 Comments:
Hey Tiff - I don't know what else Bette can say or do to get Tina back...she has completly stripped herself bare in front of Tina...will Bette say nothing and walk away?
Your writing is just totally amazing. Thank you.
08/22/2005 ,
12:07:39 PM From:
mstx Comments:
K Great chapter as always. Heart breaking but wonderful. I really hope they can find their way through this and be together.
08/22/2005 ,
13:21:25 PM From:
Bette&TinaForever Comments:
you are killing me fast, i can't see B&T like this, bette better find the right answer damn soon...i agree with techgal though, bette already gave an answer that she would give up everything for just being with tina, what else tina need? i see her pain and can understand but man it's all so tough...please give B&T another chance
08/22/2005 ,
15:04:05 PM From:
bettyvhall Comments:
Tina holds there future in her hands. She has all the A's Doest Bette win ore does Tina lose,her heart,and the love of her life. This is brillent and so sad. Can Bette walk away and leave Tina. and never come back? Will bette do something stupid. Thanks
08/22/2005 ,
19:27:46 PM From:
coop Comments:
I just caught up from last Thursday. I feel so drained, stressed, pissed, but not with you or at you. These two OMG, the drama the B.S., the tit for tat, etc. etc. THere are no easy answers, no easy solutions, your either going to give it another try or your not. Neither party can continue trying to get the other one to conceede or make promises that can't be kept, or admit fault and defeat. People screw up, right or wrong we do it. B&T major screw up, but hey for those two not to be together, come on we have to have some small sense of hope even if its only make-believe. Anyway, none of us would be feeling all these things, or continue reading if you weren't doing such a great job with this story.
08/22/2005 ,
19:27:47 PM From:
coop Comments:
I just caught up from last Thursday. I feel so drained, stressed, pissed, but not with you or at you. These two OMG, the drama the B.S., the tit for tat, etc. etc. THere are no easy answers, no easy solutions, your either going to give it another try or your not. Neither party can continue trying to get the other one to conceede or make promises that can't be kept, or admit fault and defeat. People screw up, right or wrong we do it. B&T major screw up, but hey for those two not to be together, come on we have to have some small sense of hope even if its only make-believe. Anyway, none of us would be feeling all these things, or continue reading if you weren't doing such a great job with this story.
08/22/2005 ,
20:37:06 PM From:
cabecou Comments:
Like Bette, what can I say?...may be just, job well done. Is there a chapter 50?
08/23/2005 ,
00:36:08 AM From:
brigbeach6 Comments:
OK...I want to comment quickly because I still have the next chapter to read...lucky me!!! Anyway, I've had this story on my brain today and I was hoping that Bette stormed in there and said enough is enough, I love you, you love me, forget all this bullsh*t and let's start over in between mad and passionate kisses with Tina pinned up against the wall...ok...that was my fantasy...let's see what the next chapter says.
08/24/2005 ,
20:54:03 PM From:
crazy4bette Comments:
I agree with Willowr that song is perfect! Damn it why do the Joss lovers always write the best fics! Oh yeah because we know how to live with wating and pain and to be continues and not getting what we want! Damn I LOVE this fic!
